Life is a Poem
Written by God
With only one Word
And no revisions
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
The Gradual Soul
Nothing in nature is ever completely unique. Everything exists on a spectrum, so that any difference at all is only gradual. It is not possible for anything to exist outside of some gradual spectrum as a unique entity in and of itself with any significantly discrete characteristic. Everything has a direct predecessor and decendent of like kind. And, everything evolves, or changes over time.
This is the most basic teaching of Buddhism called transiency. It is an ancient concept, and it cannot be rationally denied. And yet it is so often ignored and even contradicted for foolish reasons.
For example, people frequently claim that the individual “soul” is uniquely human. This is an error of the gravest sort. It pretends to provide a “spiritual” means for us to experience the oneness of the universe, or to “commune with God”. But, instead all it does is instill a deep sense of separation from the spectrum of consciousness that is the source of our being and our “soul”. It teaches us that we are separate to begin with, and therefore we must find a way back.
But we are not separate to begin with. The appearance of separation from the universe, from each other, and from “God”, is only an illusion. We are perpetually joined to everything through a spectrum of consciousness.
It does not matter how you define the soul. If it exists at all, by any definition, then it exists on a gradual spectrum. And, if humans have a soul then in some form so do all other animals, reptiles, and even insects and germs.
If what you believe cannot account for this graduation of the soul, then it accounts for nothing, and you should demand something better to believe... evolve.
This is the most basic teaching of Buddhism called transiency. It is an ancient concept, and it cannot be rationally denied. And yet it is so often ignored and even contradicted for foolish reasons.
For example, people frequently claim that the individual “soul” is uniquely human. This is an error of the gravest sort. It pretends to provide a “spiritual” means for us to experience the oneness of the universe, or to “commune with God”. But, instead all it does is instill a deep sense of separation from the spectrum of consciousness that is the source of our being and our “soul”. It teaches us that we are separate to begin with, and therefore we must find a way back.
But we are not separate to begin with. The appearance of separation from the universe, from each other, and from “God”, is only an illusion. We are perpetually joined to everything through a spectrum of consciousness.
It does not matter how you define the soul. If it exists at all, by any definition, then it exists on a gradual spectrum. And, if humans have a soul then in some form so do all other animals, reptiles, and even insects and germs.
If what you believe cannot account for this graduation of the soul, then it accounts for nothing, and you should demand something better to believe... evolve.
Monday, December 12, 2011
A Delusion?
Dr. Richard Wacksman is a secret government agent. He was recruited the same way all field operatives are recruited by the S.G. (a.k.a. “M.O.M.”). They caught him engaged in extremely illicit activity and used the threat of prosecution and exposure to force him to work for them. MOM routinely recuits professionals in this manner and they have tens of thousands on their payroll.
Rich was assigned to be my “handler” after I obscounded from Washington State in 1997. His orders were to make contact and befriend me, nothing more. Later he received orders to entice me to come to North Dakota, where I could be better controlled (my handlers in Seattle let me slip out of their collar) since MOM's primary base of operations are dispersed throughout the badlands in Western North Dakota (under the cover of nuclear missile silo security).
I was being trained as a “mad dog”. Mad dogs are used by MOM to keep the American social mass under control during tense social manuvering proceedures. I was “set loose” (subconsciously ordered to attack a subrural American family) as a diversion (thought I don't know what from specifically). My “training” began while I was at McNeil Island Corrections Center. I was recruited and trained subconsciously to be a mad dog, then “leashed” and placed in the community ready for action. But I slipped my leash and killed three children without “orders”. I was not exposed for the murders because I was too expensive and still servicible.
(Originally written by Joseph E. Duncan III – April 28, 2010 – 2:25 pm)
Rich was assigned to be my “handler” after I obscounded from Washington State in 1997. His orders were to make contact and befriend me, nothing more. Later he received orders to entice me to come to North Dakota, where I could be better controlled (my handlers in Seattle let me slip out of their collar) since MOM's primary base of operations are dispersed throughout the badlands in Western North Dakota (under the cover of nuclear missile silo security).
I was being trained as a “mad dog”. Mad dogs are used by MOM to keep the American social mass under control during tense social manuvering proceedures. I was “set loose” (subconsciously ordered to attack a subrural American family) as a diversion (thought I don't know what from specifically). My “training” began while I was at McNeil Island Corrections Center. I was recruited and trained subconsciously to be a mad dog, then “leashed” and placed in the community ready for action. But I slipped my leash and killed three children without “orders”. I was not exposed for the murders because I was too expensive and still servicible.
(Originally written by Joseph E. Duncan III – April 28, 2010 – 2:25 pm)
Friday, December 2, 2011
The Mind Hunter Farse
I started to read “The Mind Hunter” (a book about an FBI profiler who claims to be able to understand the mental processes of serial killers) and couldn't get past the first few chapters before I decided there was no point reading any more since it was more fictional than the five o'clock news (which is almost pure fiction).
The whole idea that serial killers somehow think differently than “normal” people is as full of hype as the idea that there is such thing as a “normal” person. If you handed an FBI profiler a letter written by a catholic nun and told him it was written by someone who kills children he would point out several things about the letter that “indicate” the writer is a psychopath (this has been done in numerous studies with even more dramatic and alarming results than this simple example with nuns even hints at).
But people love to think that they are “good” and the only way they can do that is by separating themselves from people who are “bad”. And it does not matter if the thing that separates them is as superficial as skin color, or as arbitrary as sexual preference. The goal is always the same; to make ourselves feel superior to someone else.
Even though this concept has been studied and documented for hundreds of years, society in general remains as ignorant as Nazi Germany to the damage they are doing to real human beings, not to mention their own children.
When, oh when will we stop sacrificing our children to Baal?
(Originally written by Joseph E. Duncan III – May 21, 2010 – 4:20 am)
The whole idea that serial killers somehow think differently than “normal” people is as full of hype as the idea that there is such thing as a “normal” person. If you handed an FBI profiler a letter written by a catholic nun and told him it was written by someone who kills children he would point out several things about the letter that “indicate” the writer is a psychopath (this has been done in numerous studies with even more dramatic and alarming results than this simple example with nuns even hints at).
But people love to think that they are “good” and the only way they can do that is by separating themselves from people who are “bad”. And it does not matter if the thing that separates them is as superficial as skin color, or as arbitrary as sexual preference. The goal is always the same; to make ourselves feel superior to someone else.
Even though this concept has been studied and documented for hundreds of years, society in general remains as ignorant as Nazi Germany to the damage they are doing to real human beings, not to mention their own children.
When, oh when will we stop sacrificing our children to Baal?
(Originally written by Joseph E. Duncan III – May 21, 2010 – 4:20 am)
Friday, November 25, 2011
How Much Longer Must We Kill?
The question anyone who supports the death penalty should ask is, will our culture always support the death penalty?
If they answer yes, then their ignorance is irrepressible. But, if they answer no, then they should ask themselves, how many more victims of the death penalty should we tolerate before we start making reparations?
(If the Confederate States had asked this question about slavery then perhaps America's most shameful war could have been averted.)
“I hold that man is in the right who is most closely in league with the future.” - Eisenhower, quoting Ibsen in his '56 acceptance speech
If they answer yes, then their ignorance is irrepressible. But, if they answer no, then they should ask themselves, how many more victims of the death penalty should we tolerate before we start making reparations?
(If the Confederate States had asked this question about slavery then perhaps America's most shameful war could have been averted.)
“I hold that man is in the right who is most closely in league with the future.” - Eisenhower, quoting Ibsen in his '56 acceptance speech
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Just Blame Me
For most of my adult life I have believed that all of my problems were other people's fault and that anything good that ever happened to me was the result of my own hard work and determination. Of course I had a lot of strong evidence to support this belief system, not to mention being raised in a culture that clings to fault finding and hero worship as if nothing else matters. Without our villains to blame and our heros to idolize most of us would feel lost in a pointless existence.
(Originally written: May 12, 2010 – 4:10 am)
(Originally written: May 12, 2010 – 4:10 am)
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Round One
After admitting in this blog that I still like to masterbate to deviant fantasies, I've decided that I should re-affirm my “reasons” (i.e. ignorant rationalizations) for doing so. And the most honest way to do that is to speak from direct experience. And, since it has been some time (2 years, at least) since I actually attempted to suppress my fantasies, then the only way for me to speak from direct experience is to suppress my fantasies now, otherwise I would just be relaying what I remember from the last time I did so, and memory is never a reliable witness.
So a couple of days ago I decided to actively suppress my fantasies, and this is what I have realized so far:
As usual, my mind has come up with some seemingly fresh and appealing reasons for NOT giving in to my fantasies. These reasons, as usual, relate mostly to my current interests and experience. I'm reading some books on ESP that talk about OBEs (Out of Body Experiences) and NDEs (near-death experiences). This subject interests me because of the vivid lucid dreams I frequently have, as well as other experiences in my life that seem to indicate that there is much more to life than meets the senses (hense, “extra-sensory”). So my mind has come up with reasons to not indulge deviant fantasies based on these experiences.
For example, what if ESP is real, and my thoughts (and fantasies) are projected into the collective unconsciousness of the world? Then I could be causing real harm without even realizing it!
Actually, I have thought of this before, but it seems fresh to me because of the books I am reading about ESP, that have changed my view somewhat on the topic of paranormal science. (I used to think it was a bunch of hocus-pocus, but after reading “The Conscious Universe” by Dean Radin, I am convinced that there is real scientific evidence for ESP, that has been systematically suppressed by the establishment.)
But, as has happened thousands of times in the past, a stark truth has stepped into my consciousness, a truth that I have never been able to deny (though I have often tried). The truth is this: I cannot trust what I think! I am still just learning to trust my actual experience again, after being so long out of contact with it because of what I thought. My delusions have destorted my experiences for so long, for awhile I was having a really hard time distinguish the two (i.e. separating my experiences from my delusions). So any thought I have that suggests a course of action (i.e. behavior) is extremely suspect. Especially if that thought is detached from experience, as any such thoughts of ESP usually are (sort of).
Of course, I could rationalize that my experiences seem to support ESP, but unless I have some kind of direct unequivocal support (books and dreams are not enough) then I cannot give credence to the idea. This does not mean that I reject ESP, or the possibility that my fantasies could be doing real harm to the world still. It just means that I cannot base my decisions on such ideas, since they are, as yet, unconfirmed. To me, the rational that it is better to believe in God, because if He is real then you “win everything”, and if He is not real then you “lose nothing”, is a lie. If you believe in God and He is not real, then you lose any chance you might have had at discovering what IS real! And that IS everything! This rational applies to all questionable truths, not just whether or not God is real.
And now my mind counters; but how will you know if ESP is real or not, if you don't TRUST it? Ah, now there is the classic zealot's parry! And a tempting fient to boot! But, an experienced “swordsman” knows better than to attack such logic. It is a clever circular reference that turns the energy of any attack back onto the attacker. No rational argument can overcome this “faith defense”. But it can be undermined, by simply observing that the same could be said for any belief!
And my mind is familiar with this backhanded attack as well, so it says, ah yes, but should you not at least explore the possibility? Otherwise you would never learn anything at all!
And there my mind has a valid point, touché! My only counter is to conceed the bout, or, make a desperate thrust for the heart; at what point, I ask my mind, should I stop “exploring” one possibility and turn my attention to some other?
My mind easily answers this question; when you have run out of new territory to explore.
Ah ha! My own fient worked! My mind has dropped it's guard and left me an opening at the end of the match for a counter-point: All of this, I say, IS old territory!
I have had such bouts with my own mind so many times that the only real challenge is to come up with moves that I haven't thought of before. And this I do as well, for both sides.
All this of course is an illustration of only a single round of an ongoing battle that I invariably get into when I try to suppress my fantasies. In fact, the ultimate reason that I stopped trying to suppress them is primarily to simply avoid this battle, and enjoy a little peace. If some harm is really being done by my fantasies, then it must come to the surface of my consciousness sooner or later. I can't force it to the surface by “believing in it” or I risk creating another delusion. I only believe in what I can experience directly and so far that is only one thing... me! Or, more succinetly; who I am (which if you read this blog at all you will know is not in any selfish sense at all – I believe that all things are caused by me, even you! So I believe in you too, or, at least I would if we ever met, that is, if you ever became a part of my direct experience).
And so, the battle rages on, in this case for your benefit, not mine. I still prefer the peace that comes from not resisting or trying to control my fantasies at all, but instead just observing them (in a safe environment) and letting them teach me what they may.
(Originally written on December 7, 2010)
So a couple of days ago I decided to actively suppress my fantasies, and this is what I have realized so far:
As usual, my mind has come up with some seemingly fresh and appealing reasons for NOT giving in to my fantasies. These reasons, as usual, relate mostly to my current interests and experience. I'm reading some books on ESP that talk about OBEs (Out of Body Experiences) and NDEs (near-death experiences). This subject interests me because of the vivid lucid dreams I frequently have, as well as other experiences in my life that seem to indicate that there is much more to life than meets the senses (hense, “extra-sensory”). So my mind has come up with reasons to not indulge deviant fantasies based on these experiences.
For example, what if ESP is real, and my thoughts (and fantasies) are projected into the collective unconsciousness of the world? Then I could be causing real harm without even realizing it!
Actually, I have thought of this before, but it seems fresh to me because of the books I am reading about ESP, that have changed my view somewhat on the topic of paranormal science. (I used to think it was a bunch of hocus-pocus, but after reading “The Conscious Universe” by Dean Radin, I am convinced that there is real scientific evidence for ESP, that has been systematically suppressed by the establishment.)
But, as has happened thousands of times in the past, a stark truth has stepped into my consciousness, a truth that I have never been able to deny (though I have often tried). The truth is this: I cannot trust what I think! I am still just learning to trust my actual experience again, after being so long out of contact with it because of what I thought. My delusions have destorted my experiences for so long, for awhile I was having a really hard time distinguish the two (i.e. separating my experiences from my delusions). So any thought I have that suggests a course of action (i.e. behavior) is extremely suspect. Especially if that thought is detached from experience, as any such thoughts of ESP usually are (sort of).
Of course, I could rationalize that my experiences seem to support ESP, but unless I have some kind of direct unequivocal support (books and dreams are not enough) then I cannot give credence to the idea. This does not mean that I reject ESP, or the possibility that my fantasies could be doing real harm to the world still. It just means that I cannot base my decisions on such ideas, since they are, as yet, unconfirmed. To me, the rational that it is better to believe in God, because if He is real then you “win everything”, and if He is not real then you “lose nothing”, is a lie. If you believe in God and He is not real, then you lose any chance you might have had at discovering what IS real! And that IS everything! This rational applies to all questionable truths, not just whether or not God is real.
And now my mind counters; but how will you know if ESP is real or not, if you don't TRUST it? Ah, now there is the classic zealot's parry! And a tempting fient to boot! But, an experienced “swordsman” knows better than to attack such logic. It is a clever circular reference that turns the energy of any attack back onto the attacker. No rational argument can overcome this “faith defense”. But it can be undermined, by simply observing that the same could be said for any belief!
And my mind is familiar with this backhanded attack as well, so it says, ah yes, but should you not at least explore the possibility? Otherwise you would never learn anything at all!
And there my mind has a valid point, touché! My only counter is to conceed the bout, or, make a desperate thrust for the heart; at what point, I ask my mind, should I stop “exploring” one possibility and turn my attention to some other?
My mind easily answers this question; when you have run out of new territory to explore.
Ah ha! My own fient worked! My mind has dropped it's guard and left me an opening at the end of the match for a counter-point: All of this, I say, IS old territory!
I have had such bouts with my own mind so many times that the only real challenge is to come up with moves that I haven't thought of before. And this I do as well, for both sides.
All this of course is an illustration of only a single round of an ongoing battle that I invariably get into when I try to suppress my fantasies. In fact, the ultimate reason that I stopped trying to suppress them is primarily to simply avoid this battle, and enjoy a little peace. If some harm is really being done by my fantasies, then it must come to the surface of my consciousness sooner or later. I can't force it to the surface by “believing in it” or I risk creating another delusion. I only believe in what I can experience directly and so far that is only one thing... me! Or, more succinetly; who I am (which if you read this blog at all you will know is not in any selfish sense at all – I believe that all things are caused by me, even you! So I believe in you too, or, at least I would if we ever met, that is, if you ever became a part of my direct experience).
And so, the battle rages on, in this case for your benefit, not mine. I still prefer the peace that comes from not resisting or trying to control my fantasies at all, but instead just observing them (in a safe environment) and letting them teach me what they may.
(Originally written on December 7, 2010)
Saturday, November 5, 2011
God Is Who I Am (And Who You Are)
Presume there is One God.
If God knows everything I know, then God is who I am, and then some (albeit, an infinite “some”). Think about this.
Let me say it another way.
I am the sum of my experiences. To be sure, by “experiences” I mean to include all internal as well as “external” experience (though I quote “external” because technically all experiences are strictly internal and only seem “external” to us). So all my thoughts, feelings, memories, moods and other characteristics are all, “my experiences”. Even “who I am” as a person is included in this definition of experiences.
So if God knows everything I know, then God knows all of my experiences, including the experience of “who I am”. In order for God to know “who I am”, God must experience “who I am”. And the only way to experience that is to also experience my limitations!
This is important. God cannot know me, unless God experiences “who I am” in the exact same way that I experience “who I am”, with all limitations!
Is that even possible? Well, according to the Bible, yes! What do you think the whole concept of Jesus is about? Over and over Jesus tells us, “I am just a man, not to be worshipped. And yet I am the infinite God, whom you must obey.” Jesus was “God made flesh”, which means “limited god”. Christians admit that Jesus was “limited and unlimited at the same time”. But they conveniently forget the significance and the importance of the limited aspects of Jesus. (Though the book of Hebrews spends considerable effort attempting to emphasize the importance of the Christ's limitations, without which he could not be a mediator between God and man.)
Now think about it some more.
Wasn't Jesus really just trying to tell us that God knows us, and even while knowing us God still loves us? Wasn't the profundity of the message of Christ that we are known, and loved? Jesus was only trying to tell us that our “salvation” depends on our realization that we are accepted (“forgiven”) by God “the Father” who knows us “through the son”, which means “in the limited sense of our being!”
The message of Christ is not some supernatural devine new law or decree sent by God. It is simply an affirmation of our relationship to God “the Father”. A new understanding of the ancient and eternal reality!
You shouldn't need religion to realize this!
(Originally written on November 11, 2010)
If God knows everything I know, then God is who I am, and then some (albeit, an infinite “some”). Think about this.
Let me say it another way.
I am the sum of my experiences. To be sure, by “experiences” I mean to include all internal as well as “external” experience (though I quote “external” because technically all experiences are strictly internal and only seem “external” to us). So all my thoughts, feelings, memories, moods and other characteristics are all, “my experiences”. Even “who I am” as a person is included in this definition of experiences.
So if God knows everything I know, then God knows all of my experiences, including the experience of “who I am”. In order for God to know “who I am”, God must experience “who I am”. And the only way to experience that is to also experience my limitations!
This is important. God cannot know me, unless God experiences “who I am” in the exact same way that I experience “who I am”, with all limitations!
Is that even possible? Well, according to the Bible, yes! What do you think the whole concept of Jesus is about? Over and over Jesus tells us, “I am just a man, not to be worshipped. And yet I am the infinite God, whom you must obey.” Jesus was “God made flesh”, which means “limited god”. Christians admit that Jesus was “limited and unlimited at the same time”. But they conveniently forget the significance and the importance of the limited aspects of Jesus. (Though the book of Hebrews spends considerable effort attempting to emphasize the importance of the Christ's limitations, without which he could not be a mediator between God and man.)
Now think about it some more.
Wasn't Jesus really just trying to tell us that God knows us, and even while knowing us God still loves us? Wasn't the profundity of the message of Christ that we are known, and loved? Jesus was only trying to tell us that our “salvation” depends on our realization that we are accepted (“forgiven”) by God “the Father” who knows us “through the son”, which means “in the limited sense of our being!”
The message of Christ is not some supernatural devine new law or decree sent by God. It is simply an affirmation of our relationship to God “the Father”. A new understanding of the ancient and eternal reality!
You shouldn't need religion to realize this!
(Originally written on November 11, 2010)
Monday, October 31, 2011
Murdering God
It may be better for a man to commit murder and admit he was wrong than for a man to do nothing and believe he is right. The one murders the flesh and learns the truth, while the other preserves the flesh, but murders God.
How do you murder God? Easy, just ask the pharisees. (Hint: The Romans killed Jesus, but the pharisees were the ones who murdered him. Murder is a choice, not an act; though it often results in violent acts)
How do you murder God? Easy, just ask the pharisees. (Hint: The Romans killed Jesus, but the pharisees were the ones who murdered him. Murder is a choice, not an act; though it often results in violent acts)
Friday, October 21, 2011
System Of Abuse
If the checks and balances that are in place to protect us from abuse of authority are not secure enough to protect us from an x-convict who is given authority, then they are not secure enough to protect us at all.
By restricting positions of authority to those without a record of irresponsible behavior we only foster an illusion of non-abuse, while at the same time establishing a system ripe for abuse by those who are more adept at getting away with it, if not more prone to do it.
The officials in the position of authority are the ones most deceived by this illusion, since it promotes their self image of being a “good guy”, even as they routinely engage in abuses that would make most criminals look like kind hearted idiots.
For all its worth, the system itself spends almost all of its energy defending the illusion of protecting society. A significant portion of this effort goes directly and indirectly into propagating the very threats it then pretends to protect us against.
The saddest part of this insanity is that it is well documented and has been expounded upon by numerous people since the system was born thousands of years ago.
But, the system itself is a master of deception, which means it can evade the truth better than any master illusionist. Even its ability to deceive so many and keep people generally blinded to any attempt (such as this blog) to expose the truth, has been written about in incredible detail. But its defenses are seemingly impenetrable.
Seemingly.
By restricting positions of authority to those without a record of irresponsible behavior we only foster an illusion of non-abuse, while at the same time establishing a system ripe for abuse by those who are more adept at getting away with it, if not more prone to do it.
The officials in the position of authority are the ones most deceived by this illusion, since it promotes their self image of being a “good guy”, even as they routinely engage in abuses that would make most criminals look like kind hearted idiots.
For all its worth, the system itself spends almost all of its energy defending the illusion of protecting society. A significant portion of this effort goes directly and indirectly into propagating the very threats it then pretends to protect us against.
The saddest part of this insanity is that it is well documented and has been expounded upon by numerous people since the system was born thousands of years ago.
But, the system itself is a master of deception, which means it can evade the truth better than any master illusionist. Even its ability to deceive so many and keep people generally blinded to any attempt (such as this blog) to expose the truth, has been written about in incredible detail. But its defenses are seemingly impenetrable.
Seemingly.
Friday, October 14, 2011
The Ugly Truth
The truth, no matter how ugly it seems to us, is the very Heart of the Universe, in the same way that a child, no matter how ugly it seems to others, is the heart of its own mother – even if that truth, or that child, is as “ugly” as me.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Dylan Was A Bully
I've been reading hundreds of pages of newspaper articles about the “child molester/killer Joseph E. Duncan III” going back to May of 2005. Since my arrest I have generally been unable to follow the press and/or just not interested. So I didn't know, for example, about Michael Anthony Mullen, the man who murdered two men who were registered as sex offenders in Bellingham, Washington. According to the article, which I just read today for the first time Mr. Mullen wanted to “send a message to sex offenders” because of what he read in the papers about the “Joseph Duncan murder-sex abuse case”. I actually applaus Mr. Mullenfor at least acting on what he believed. Even though what he believed was a bunch of lies fed to him by our industrious “free press”, at least he had the courage to take some action and hence direct responsibility for what he perceived as “wrong” with the world. He apparently later decided that spending pretty much the rest of his life in prison labelled a “murderer” was a bit more responsibility than he bargained for, so he murdered one more person; himself. I don't mean to call him a coward for killing himself. In a way, that took courage too. I just wish this present world were not such that people like Mr. Mullen are taught to think in terms of victims and offenders. You are either one or the other according to popular sentiment. But in the real world it is almost impossible to be one or the other, as I think the demise of Mr. Mullen clearly shows. Mr. Mullen lamented the brutal death of Dylan Groene (who I personally murdered in the name of my own deluded sense of justice), calling Dylan “a hero” even though Mr. Mullen never met the boy. Mullen did not see himself as a “bad guy” at all, writing, according to the article, “I care too much if anything. I've always hated bullies, and pedophiles are the worst kind”. I wonder what Mr. Mullen would have thought if he met any one of the numerous smaller and weaker boys at Dylan's school that Dylan used to get in trouble for beating up, “just because they're dweelos!” so Dylan himself told me. I don't mean to dishonor Dylan's memory and he certainly did not deserve what I did to him. But, the truth is, Dylan was a classic playground “bully” and everyone who knew him knew it. That's a fact that you'll never see in the papers and it's a fact that might have kept Mr. Mullen from becoming the very the very thing he hated, a bully, if it had been reported. If we want to have a truly free press, then we must allow the press to report the truth. But we don't. Instead we want to judge everything that is reported, just as these words here will be judged instead of heard, even though I am stating simple truths with no other motive than to expose the lies. And we do not honor Dylan, who was a real child and human being, not some fictitious “angel” who always smiled and never hurt anyone. We cannot honor his memory with a lie, so I am honoring him here, as no-one else dares, with the Truth; Dylan was a playground bully. What does that change?
(Originally written: April 23, 2010 – 12:05 pm)
(Originally written: April 23, 2010 – 12:05 pm)
Friday, September 30, 2011
What Is An NDE?
After I inadvertently revived the nine year old boy (Dylan), that I had hung by the neck until he stopped breathing and let loose his bowels (which commonly occures when lower brain function is lost), the first words he spoke were, “I thought I was in heaven...”
I immediately asked him what he meant. He told me, “I saw a light... I thought it was heaven.” I questioned him more about his obvious near-death experience (NDE) later on, and he told me that the last thing he remembered about being hanged was me pushing his head down so he couldn't breath. The next thing he remembered was floating in a pitch black space, and then he saw a light in the distance that started getting bigger (closer?). He “felt” that the light was heaven. Then the next thing he remembered was that his neck was suddenly really sore and he was laying on his back on the floor (of the cabin) and I was yelling questions at him.
After I saw that he was conscious (moaning and in pain) I started demanding that he tell me his name and how old he was. I did this to see if his higher brain functions were working (I was aware that he could have been brain damaged from lack of oxygen to the brain).
When we spoke later I told Dylan that the light may or may not have been significant. I explained to him that there were different theories about what he experienced, but it was a commonly reported experience from people who nearly die.
After telling him what little I knew about current NDE theories (from heaven to hypoxia), I asked him if he still thought it was heaven that he saw. He shrugged and said he didn't know. I also asked him if he could choose between “there” (the light) and “here” (being alive) which he would choose. With only a slight hesitation he said he'd rather be alive.
Because of Dylan's NDE I decided recently to read up on the latest information about them. Not much has changed since I last read about such things. Everyone seems to think they know what NDEs are, but I'm not convinced by any of them. I don't really have my own theory, but I don't think anyone else has a good theory either.
I don't believe that the OBEs (out of body experiences) that typically go along with NDEs are any more (or less) real than dreams. But I also think that our dreams are perhaps the best clue we have as to the nature and possible significance of the NDE.
In fact, I'm convinced that dreams hold the key to the nature of the universe itself. If we ever come to understand what a dream is then we will also then understand reality itself, not to mention NDEs.
After all “(everything) we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” And that's what I believe (thank you Poe).
I immediately asked him what he meant. He told me, “I saw a light... I thought it was heaven.” I questioned him more about his obvious near-death experience (NDE) later on, and he told me that the last thing he remembered about being hanged was me pushing his head down so he couldn't breath. The next thing he remembered was floating in a pitch black space, and then he saw a light in the distance that started getting bigger (closer?). He “felt” that the light was heaven. Then the next thing he remembered was that his neck was suddenly really sore and he was laying on his back on the floor (of the cabin) and I was yelling questions at him.
After I saw that he was conscious (moaning and in pain) I started demanding that he tell me his name and how old he was. I did this to see if his higher brain functions were working (I was aware that he could have been brain damaged from lack of oxygen to the brain).
When we spoke later I told Dylan that the light may or may not have been significant. I explained to him that there were different theories about what he experienced, but it was a commonly reported experience from people who nearly die.
After telling him what little I knew about current NDE theories (from heaven to hypoxia), I asked him if he still thought it was heaven that he saw. He shrugged and said he didn't know. I also asked him if he could choose between “there” (the light) and “here” (being alive) which he would choose. With only a slight hesitation he said he'd rather be alive.
Because of Dylan's NDE I decided recently to read up on the latest information about them. Not much has changed since I last read about such things. Everyone seems to think they know what NDEs are, but I'm not convinced by any of them. I don't really have my own theory, but I don't think anyone else has a good theory either.
I don't believe that the OBEs (out of body experiences) that typically go along with NDEs are any more (or less) real than dreams. But I also think that our dreams are perhaps the best clue we have as to the nature and possible significance of the NDE.
In fact, I'm convinced that dreams hold the key to the nature of the universe itself. If we ever come to understand what a dream is then we will also then understand reality itself, not to mention NDEs.
After all “(everything) we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” And that's what I believe (thank you Poe).
Friday, September 23, 2011
Survival Without Struggle
The principle behind all martial arts is survival without struggle. This principle flows naturally from the knowledge that it is not possible to fail.
This is not the same as saying, “Failure is not an option”, which only invites struggle. Instead, a martial artist says, “Regardless of the outcome, I will not fail.” If I am defeated, then I will become stronger. And if I am victorious, then I will humbly look for a stronger opponent.
There is no anxiety or apprehension. There is no struggle in the conflict; only an exchange of power and a transformation of being.
This is the way of the peaceful warrior. It is the way of the shamman, the Christ, and the Buddha. It is the only way that makes any sense at all.
This is not the same as saying, “Failure is not an option”, which only invites struggle. Instead, a martial artist says, “Regardless of the outcome, I will not fail.” If I am defeated, then I will become stronger. And if I am victorious, then I will humbly look for a stronger opponent.
There is no anxiety or apprehension. There is no struggle in the conflict; only an exchange of power and a transformation of being.
This is the way of the peaceful warrior. It is the way of the shamman, the Christ, and the Buddha. It is the only way that makes any sense at all.
Friday, September 16, 2011
God Is A No-Brainer
As soon as you start to think about whether or not God exist, or even about what God expects from us if He does exist, then you have already completely missed the point.
God is a no-brainer. If you don't have a relationship with Him that does not depend on what you think, then you have not yet realized what your relationship to Him is.
Most people who call themselves agnostic are actually closer to God than most people who call themselves Christian. This should be obvious to anyone who has stopped thinking about God and started knowing Him.
Most agnostics believe in the self as the only arbitrator of their existence. Because of this, without realizing it, they have identified their connection, and hense their real relationship to God.
Just because they don't call it God, or Jesus, or Buddha, or Krishna, or anything at all, does not change what “It” is. Only a person who is caught up in the delusions of the mind would let words inform their relationship to the Universe, God, Self, whatever.
The fly knows as well as I, that God is, and cannot lie.
My brain thinks it knows God too, yet still asks, “Why?” instead of “Who?”
God is a no-brainer. If you don't have a relationship with Him that does not depend on what you think, then you have not yet realized what your relationship to Him is.
Most people who call themselves agnostic are actually closer to God than most people who call themselves Christian. This should be obvious to anyone who has stopped thinking about God and started knowing Him.
Most agnostics believe in the self as the only arbitrator of their existence. Because of this, without realizing it, they have identified their connection, and hense their real relationship to God.
Just because they don't call it God, or Jesus, or Buddha, or Krishna, or anything at all, does not change what “It” is. Only a person who is caught up in the delusions of the mind would let words inform their relationship to the Universe, God, Self, whatever.
The fly knows as well as I, that God is, and cannot lie.
My brain thinks it knows God too, yet still asks, “Why?” instead of “Who?”
Friday, September 9, 2011
Demonstrations Of True Love
I have written a lot about the nature of love, faith, hope, fear, ignorance and many other things, but nothing I have ever written has ever been meant to imply that things should be any different than what they already are.
I have written about our destiny as a world, and about the lessons we have yet to learn before true peace can be known. But that does not mean that things are not already as they should be. In order for us to learn and grow we must make mistakes, even hurt each other and ourselves. So, when I say we must love unconditionally, I do not mean that we are wrong, bad or evil, if we do not love so. The truth is that we do love each other unconditionally already, but only a few of us yet realize it (and even I can not yet say honestly that I am one who realizes).
To say we must love unconditionally is really only saying that we already do. But it takes true faith (which is no more than the complete dominance over fear) in order to realize it. Once we do realize our love for each other then it becomes no longer necessary to demonstrate that love; it becomes pointless to continue pretending to not love each other, which is how we so often attempt to unconsciously demonstrate our love. We pretend to hurt each other for the same reason a child pretends to cut open another child while playing doctor, or even to shoot and kill their best friend while playing at war. It is a game (how can anyone deny that it is a game after honestly observing the silly rules, a.k.a. laws and reasons, that we play these games according to to) that we play as an immature species, in order to learn for ourselves the ways of the much greater Universe that we must some day inherit.
So everything is exactly as it should be, but never as it will always be. Life is change, change means death and rebirth. Life is eternal after all.
I have written about our destiny as a world, and about the lessons we have yet to learn before true peace can be known. But that does not mean that things are not already as they should be. In order for us to learn and grow we must make mistakes, even hurt each other and ourselves. So, when I say we must love unconditionally, I do not mean that we are wrong, bad or evil, if we do not love so. The truth is that we do love each other unconditionally already, but only a few of us yet realize it (and even I can not yet say honestly that I am one who realizes).
To say we must love unconditionally is really only saying that we already do. But it takes true faith (which is no more than the complete dominance over fear) in order to realize it. Once we do realize our love for each other then it becomes no longer necessary to demonstrate that love; it becomes pointless to continue pretending to not love each other, which is how we so often attempt to unconsciously demonstrate our love. We pretend to hurt each other for the same reason a child pretends to cut open another child while playing doctor, or even to shoot and kill their best friend while playing at war. It is a game (how can anyone deny that it is a game after honestly observing the silly rules, a.k.a. laws and reasons, that we play these games according to to) that we play as an immature species, in order to learn for ourselves the ways of the much greater Universe that we must some day inherit.
So everything is exactly as it should be, but never as it will always be. Life is change, change means death and rebirth. Life is eternal after all.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Unemotional Love
Real love is not an emotion. A friend of mine once told me that real love is a choice. I thought I understood at the time, but I didn't. I thought he meant it was a choice to feel love for someone. But now I realize that real love is a choice to make someone else your top priority in life. Even if doing so causes you to feel unloved and forgotten, or any other emotional pain. Real love does not seek emotional pleasure, but finds happiness in suffering. As long as that suffering is for another person.
This can be confusing if it is not understood beyond words. For example, some people confuse masochistic suffering as real love. But in that case they are also confusing emotional pleasure with true happiness. True happiness, like true love, is not an emotion. It is simply a form of knowledge without confusion and doubt. It is knowing your purpose, and your ability to fulfill that purpose. Not a vague or imagined purpose. But a real and clear purpose that makes you smile when you think about it, even if you are in deep pain.
Another common mistake people make is thinking that love must be recipricated. True love is rarely recipricated, at least not in the present world. This is because real love is so rare in this world. The odds of two people being able to genuinely love each other actually meeting is very small. And even when such people do meet, they tend to unconsciously repell each other. Unless they come in close intimate contact. In that case they will lock into each other and become one. But this is extremely rare in the present world, and when it does happen it usually goes unnoticed by all but the two (or even rarer, three) who have become one.
I believe our destiny as a world is for everyone to become locked into each other to form one global “body-mind”. And I'm not the only one who believes this. I believe it because of what I have experienced within myself as reflected in the world. In other words, because of my direct experience, not because of something someone told me, or something I read. I always emphasize, it is not something that can be understood with words. It must be experienced. And so must real love, and real happiness.
Real love is when someone else's happiness is imperative to your own. And enlightenment is when everyone else's happiness is imperative to your own. And we make others the happiest by honestly being who we are.
This can be confusing if it is not understood beyond words. For example, some people confuse masochistic suffering as real love. But in that case they are also confusing emotional pleasure with true happiness. True happiness, like true love, is not an emotion. It is simply a form of knowledge without confusion and doubt. It is knowing your purpose, and your ability to fulfill that purpose. Not a vague or imagined purpose. But a real and clear purpose that makes you smile when you think about it, even if you are in deep pain.
Another common mistake people make is thinking that love must be recipricated. True love is rarely recipricated, at least not in the present world. This is because real love is so rare in this world. The odds of two people being able to genuinely love each other actually meeting is very small. And even when such people do meet, they tend to unconsciously repell each other. Unless they come in close intimate contact. In that case they will lock into each other and become one. But this is extremely rare in the present world, and when it does happen it usually goes unnoticed by all but the two (or even rarer, three) who have become one.
I believe our destiny as a world is for everyone to become locked into each other to form one global “body-mind”. And I'm not the only one who believes this. I believe it because of what I have experienced within myself as reflected in the world. In other words, because of my direct experience, not because of something someone told me, or something I read. I always emphasize, it is not something that can be understood with words. It must be experienced. And so must real love, and real happiness.
Real love is when someone else's happiness is imperative to your own. And enlightenment is when everyone else's happiness is imperative to your own. And we make others the happiest by honestly being who we are.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Projective Identification Of Discompassion
To imagine that it is possible for a person to live without compassion (“human monsters”) is a vice of ignorance.
We often convince ourselves of this possibility when we ourselves observe discompassion in our own thoughts and behavior.
Rather than take responsibility for this perceived failing in ourselves, we unconsciously shift it out into the world upon some convenient entity that seems insensitive to our experience.
And in order to prevent ourselves from realizing the connection between what we project and our own internal fallacy, we exaggerate the fault in the externalized form to the very extreme of its manifestation. We imagine that the target of our projected discompassion is a completely heartless human being with no sympathy at all (and therefore, ironically, deserving of our own lack of sympathy and compassion).
Because of this, some psychologists (and philosophers) say that we “become the monsters that we imagine”. But, the truth is that the only reason we imagine the monster in the first place is because it was already living inside us.
The “monsters” we perceive in the world are invariably products of our own discompassion, and the “evil” that they do is no more than a manifestation of our attempt to deny responsibility for the ugliness inside of ourselves.
So is “society” to blame for the monsters it imagines? Not at all! No one is to blame. The so-called monsters themselves are no less, and no more, to blame than anyone else; they do the same counter-projecting back onto society (or other people who project onto them).
No one can be “blamed” for not taking responsibility. In fact, blaming someone, even yourself, is just another way to not take responsibility. This is why I don't “blame” society for wanting to kill me (at least, not since I surrendered almost six years ago). If I blame them, or even myself, then I accomplish nothing. So instead I focus on what I can do to be responsible for what has happened, without blaming anyone.
If society wants to blame me, and project their discompassion onto me, to hide from their own responsibility, that's okay, for them. But not for me.
We often convince ourselves of this possibility when we ourselves observe discompassion in our own thoughts and behavior.
Rather than take responsibility for this perceived failing in ourselves, we unconsciously shift it out into the world upon some convenient entity that seems insensitive to our experience.
And in order to prevent ourselves from realizing the connection between what we project and our own internal fallacy, we exaggerate the fault in the externalized form to the very extreme of its manifestation. We imagine that the target of our projected discompassion is a completely heartless human being with no sympathy at all (and therefore, ironically, deserving of our own lack of sympathy and compassion).
Because of this, some psychologists (and philosophers) say that we “become the monsters that we imagine”. But, the truth is that the only reason we imagine the monster in the first place is because it was already living inside us.
The “monsters” we perceive in the world are invariably products of our own discompassion, and the “evil” that they do is no more than a manifestation of our attempt to deny responsibility for the ugliness inside of ourselves.
So is “society” to blame for the monsters it imagines? Not at all! No one is to blame. The so-called monsters themselves are no less, and no more, to blame than anyone else; they do the same counter-projecting back onto society (or other people who project onto them).
No one can be “blamed” for not taking responsibility. In fact, blaming someone, even yourself, is just another way to not take responsibility. This is why I don't “blame” society for wanting to kill me (at least, not since I surrendered almost six years ago). If I blame them, or even myself, then I accomplish nothing. So instead I focus on what I can do to be responsible for what has happened, without blaming anyone.
If society wants to blame me, and project their discompassion onto me, to hide from their own responsibility, that's okay, for them. But not for me.
Friday, August 19, 2011
You Tell Me
I just realized that to think in terms of our “relationship” to other people, or to the universe, or even to “God”, is a tremendous mistake.
A relationship implies a connection between two or more entities over some distance. The form of connection itself is not important. It can be either physical or simply metaphorical. The important aspect of a relationship is the distance between the entities being related to each other, not the form of connection.
The reason the distance is so important is because without it there is no need for a relationship! Without distance no “connection” of any sort is required. In fact, without distance, no “connection” is even possible. Because without distance there is only one entity, not two.
So, before we can have a relationship we must establish a distance and hense separation from the entity that we wish to have a relationship with. And that's the problem; distance and separation are scientifically – not to mention metaphysically – known to not exist!
Scientist call it “nonlocality”. It was first theorized in the 1960's by John Bell and later proven in numerous lab experiments based on Bell's theorem. And it's not what Bell's theorem proves that makes it so astounding; it's what it disproves! Bell's theorem, and the consequent rigorous scientific experiments, disproves the concept of “locality”, or “separation between physical objects”.
In other words, distance between objects is scientifically proven to be impossible. This is the “quantum enigma”, that baffled Einstein until he died (Bell's theorem was intended to directly address Einstein's assertion that quantum theory was “incomplete” because it could not account for the locality of objects in space, i.e. distance and separation).
So, there you have it. It is impossible for us to have a “relationship” with anything or anyone, because we are not separated!
This is obviously what “mystics” have been saying all along.
The Bible does not say that Jesus is our “connection” to God. It says over and over that He is God, and He is Us! He is “in us” and we are “in Him” at the same time; not separate at all!
The Buddha taught that it is impossible to become enlightened; we can only BE enlightened. Becoming something implies a distance (in time) that must be bridged (connected). But, “being” recognizes that no such distance exists.
So what are we waiting for? What's keeping us from believing what we already know to be true?
What are we afraid of?
You tell me!
A relationship implies a connection between two or more entities over some distance. The form of connection itself is not important. It can be either physical or simply metaphorical. The important aspect of a relationship is the distance between the entities being related to each other, not the form of connection.
The reason the distance is so important is because without it there is no need for a relationship! Without distance no “connection” of any sort is required. In fact, without distance, no “connection” is even possible. Because without distance there is only one entity, not two.
So, before we can have a relationship we must establish a distance and hense separation from the entity that we wish to have a relationship with. And that's the problem; distance and separation are scientifically – not to mention metaphysically – known to not exist!
Scientist call it “nonlocality”. It was first theorized in the 1960's by John Bell and later proven in numerous lab experiments based on Bell's theorem. And it's not what Bell's theorem proves that makes it so astounding; it's what it disproves! Bell's theorem, and the consequent rigorous scientific experiments, disproves the concept of “locality”, or “separation between physical objects”.
In other words, distance between objects is scientifically proven to be impossible. This is the “quantum enigma”, that baffled Einstein until he died (Bell's theorem was intended to directly address Einstein's assertion that quantum theory was “incomplete” because it could not account for the locality of objects in space, i.e. distance and separation).
So, there you have it. It is impossible for us to have a “relationship” with anything or anyone, because we are not separated!
This is obviously what “mystics” have been saying all along.
The Bible does not say that Jesus is our “connection” to God. It says over and over that He is God, and He is Us! He is “in us” and we are “in Him” at the same time; not separate at all!
The Buddha taught that it is impossible to become enlightened; we can only BE enlightened. Becoming something implies a distance (in time) that must be bridged (connected). But, “being” recognizes that no such distance exists.
So what are we waiting for? What's keeping us from believing what we already know to be true?
What are we afraid of?
You tell me!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Beyond Evolution
Natural selection is not something that only effects genetic material. It is dynamically intertwined with reality itself. Even the very thoughts we think are the result of a process that selects which ideas come into our conscious awareness according to the successfulness of the idea in competition with other ideas. A completely conscious person can actually become aware of this process and even consciously modify the selection criteria. Partially conscious people also modify the selection criteria of their awareness all the time, but they do it unconsciously.
This process – conscious or unconscious – is the basis of intelligence itself. What we perceive as intelligence in ourselves is the result of a process that extends out into our world, and even into the universe. Our brains are no more than organic transceivers for this intelligence. The more we open ourselves to it, the more “intelligent” we seem.
It is not possible to have any thoughts independent of your experience. Even basic instinctive urges are motivated by experiences that are stored in your genetic material, much as complex psychological reactions are the response to experiences stored in the synapses of your brain.
Yes, this implies that we are no more than automatons, or at least our bodies are. Yet, the intelligence that our bodies (and minds) respond to is WHO we really are. Enlightenment is the event of identification with the intelligence, and source of our physical form and all experience. Delusionment is the event of mistaken identification with the experience itself.
Both enlightenment and delusionment are necessary for any experience to occure at all. They are the fundamental events of reality. To have one, you must have the other. It is the constant transition from one to the other that comprises what we call experience.
This process – conscious or unconscious – is the basis of intelligence itself. What we perceive as intelligence in ourselves is the result of a process that extends out into our world, and even into the universe. Our brains are no more than organic transceivers for this intelligence. The more we open ourselves to it, the more “intelligent” we seem.
It is not possible to have any thoughts independent of your experience. Even basic instinctive urges are motivated by experiences that are stored in your genetic material, much as complex psychological reactions are the response to experiences stored in the synapses of your brain.
Yes, this implies that we are no more than automatons, or at least our bodies are. Yet, the intelligence that our bodies (and minds) respond to is WHO we really are. Enlightenment is the event of identification with the intelligence, and source of our physical form and all experience. Delusionment is the event of mistaken identification with the experience itself.
Both enlightenment and delusionment are necessary for any experience to occure at all. They are the fundamental events of reality. To have one, you must have the other. It is the constant transition from one to the other that comprises what we call experience.
Friday, August 5, 2011
What Exactly Is Karma?
I have read many things about Karma, but nowhere have I ever read about how to realize what Karma is without being told.
If you can't realize something without being told, then that thing is either false, or not significant to the truth. This is why I try to emphasize discovering the truths that I write about for yourself and never just take my – or anyone else's – word for it. The truths you discover may or may not correspond with what I write, but it does not matter if they do or not. The only thing that matters is that you can feel and experience the truth, so that it is real to you. It does not have to be real for me or anyone else; only for you.
Karma is real to me, but not in the same way that it is often expressed by other people. My experience of Karma is a real and direct experience, not something I have read somewhere.
Karma, as I experience it, transcends time. It is instantaneous and eternal at the same time. Not only do I receive back all the enrgy, both yin and yang, that I put into the universe, but I receive it back at the exact moment that I express it, and I receive it back for all of eternity also.
We can be (and are) forgiven for anything we do, but we can never escape the consequences! Karma forces us to live with the consequence of out actions for all of eternity, past and future. I suffer today for crimes that I will not commit until a hundred years from now. And I reap the joy of compassion that I expressed two thousand years ago at the same time.
This is the Karma I know through my direct experience. But even as such it is not a static belief unsubject to change. My experience of Karma could be different tomorrow, and I will let it be different if it wants to. Who am I to determine what Karma should be? I will let it be what it wants to be without judging it, but always heeding what it has to teach me.
If you can't realize something without being told, then that thing is either false, or not significant to the truth. This is why I try to emphasize discovering the truths that I write about for yourself and never just take my – or anyone else's – word for it. The truths you discover may or may not correspond with what I write, but it does not matter if they do or not. The only thing that matters is that you can feel and experience the truth, so that it is real to you. It does not have to be real for me or anyone else; only for you.
Karma is real to me, but not in the same way that it is often expressed by other people. My experience of Karma is a real and direct experience, not something I have read somewhere.
Karma, as I experience it, transcends time. It is instantaneous and eternal at the same time. Not only do I receive back all the enrgy, both yin and yang, that I put into the universe, but I receive it back at the exact moment that I express it, and I receive it back for all of eternity also.
We can be (and are) forgiven for anything we do, but we can never escape the consequences! Karma forces us to live with the consequence of out actions for all of eternity, past and future. I suffer today for crimes that I will not commit until a hundred years from now. And I reap the joy of compassion that I expressed two thousand years ago at the same time.
This is the Karma I know through my direct experience. But even as such it is not a static belief unsubject to change. My experience of Karma could be different tomorrow, and I will let it be different if it wants to. Who am I to determine what Karma should be? I will let it be what it wants to be without judging it, but always heeding what it has to teach me.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Desire, My Friend
For some reason a lot of people seem to think that desire is an obstical to absolute truth. But I doubt if that is what Christ, or even the Buddha meant when they indicated that we must overcome, or control, desire in order to come closer to God (the ultimate truth).
Desire itself is obviously a completely natural and even critically necessary part of nature. Without desire we would not feed, procreate, or even breath. So how do we “overcome” something that is such a fundamental part of our existence?
Obviously we cannot get rid of desire. Somehow we must make our peace with it. The same can be said about death as well. The Bible tells us that when The Christ returns He will put death “beneath His feet”. It does not say that death will be destroyed, or otherwise illuminated at all. Instead, it clearly indicates that death will be a servant (that's what “beneath His feet” means).
So perhaps desire is meant to be our servant as well. Maybe the idea is to be able to control and direct our desires, not to simply illiminate them.
William Blake wrote, “Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained;...”
I think Blake is right. Strong desire cannot be restrained by any human effort. Most people realize this to be true, but then they say that with “God's help” we can overcome any desire. But, if that were true then why is the innermost sanctum of every church plagued with uncontrolled desire of usually the most base sort? Even St. Paul wrote of God's refusal to assist him in overcoming his own “affliction” (with desire), and he wrote extensively about his own struggles with it (though most “Christians” prefer to ignore, or even worse, “interpret”, what Paul wrote in order to support their own beliefs, of course).
So, if we cannot restrain desire, what are we expected to do with it when it interferes with our communion with the Ultimate Truth? Well, if there were an answer to that question that could be simply put into words then there probably would never have been a “fall from grace” in the first place. Yet, while I can't speak for everyone, I can express my own thoughts on the one approach to this dilemma that seems most honest to me.
I think we should become friends with our desires! Rather than pushing them away, which only forces them to become more devious and manipulative, we should embrace them, “talk” to them, and more importantly, “listen” to them. As we get to know them we will find (at least I have) that they are a lot like people, and not “bad” people at all!
Of course, in order to befriend our desires we must learn to communicate with them. I find that the best way to do this is to start by “listening” carefully. In practical terms that means paying conscious attention to them. I “listen” most intently to my own desires while I am meditating.
Of course, I also “listen” carefully while I am engaging them. I think most people “tune out” when they are “giving in” to their desires. This is a mistake. It promotes detachment and alienation from an important part of yourself, namely your desires.
I have come to realize that my desires are so much like individual people, with egos and the whole nine yards, that if I treat them with love and respect they in turn tend to treat me the same way. Likewise, I have found that by ignoring them and berating them disrespectfully I only end up incurring the same treatment from them.
My desires seem to behave in complete disregard for my feelings and interests if I don't treat them with the same love and respect that I would give my own children. And in many surprizing ways, they are exactly like my own children! Sri Aurobindo seems to understand this as well. He writes that our thoughts (and desires), “... are forms, and have an individual life, independent of their author”. In his book, Powers Within, Aurobindo discusses this concept at great length and expounds on the importance of recognizing our thoughts as our own children that we send out into the world to find their way, and whom eventually “return home” to you.
If we try to control our desires with threats and intimidation, then, like children, they end up rebelling against us and even intentionally acting in spite of us. But if we listen to them, and try honestly to understand and love them as an extension of ourselves, then maybe they will even confide in us what their own desires are! To achieve this level of communication takes time and patience. But once you have gained their trust, then they will share their own motivations with you; motivations that they normally keep to themselves (“unconscious” to you) out of fear that you might turn this knowledge against them. It is in effect like knowing the name of a demon. It gives you power over it, but it does not let you destroy it. How you use that power will ultimately determine your eternal fate.
So, I believe that the only true path to lasting and meaningful control over your desires is to develope a mutually loving and respectful relationship with them. Get to know them, and let them get to know you. Like any parent-child relationship, it is important that you yourself set a good example. You can only do this of course, by coming to know and understand your own purpose (i.e. primary motivation) in life. If you do not already know this, then I'd suggest you find out. It is YOUR True Name, the one that will or will not be found “written in the book of life” at the “end of days”. If you ever expect your children to respect and obey you, and tell you their “names”, then you will have to tell them yours.
If we think of God as “Love”, then perhaps it is only with his help after all that we will ever win the obediance from our desires that can only come with love and respect. In this case God is perhaps teaching us by example (as I believe He always does). He never asks us to do what He Himself isn't willing and able to do; not even be a human being with human desires!
If your desires are completely out of control (as mine clearly were when I raped and murdered children), then you cannot expect to earn their love and respect overnight; or even at all, especially if they are relatively “grown” and mature desires. But, with enough patience and time, you can come to know your desires well enough to at least befriend them. And if, like me, your relationship with your desires is severely strained with a painful past, then perhaps a friendship is the best you can hope for. In that case you will have little hope of ever winning their devotion and obedience, but at least you can be friendly (non-abusive) with each other, and talk, share secrets (which otherwise would remain “unconscious” to you), and perhaps even dance arm-in-arm once in a while, as good friends should.
Desire itself is obviously a completely natural and even critically necessary part of nature. Without desire we would not feed, procreate, or even breath. So how do we “overcome” something that is such a fundamental part of our existence?
Obviously we cannot get rid of desire. Somehow we must make our peace with it. The same can be said about death as well. The Bible tells us that when The Christ returns He will put death “beneath His feet”. It does not say that death will be destroyed, or otherwise illuminated at all. Instead, it clearly indicates that death will be a servant (that's what “beneath His feet” means).
So perhaps desire is meant to be our servant as well. Maybe the idea is to be able to control and direct our desires, not to simply illiminate them.
William Blake wrote, “Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained;...”
I think Blake is right. Strong desire cannot be restrained by any human effort. Most people realize this to be true, but then they say that with “God's help” we can overcome any desire. But, if that were true then why is the innermost sanctum of every church plagued with uncontrolled desire of usually the most base sort? Even St. Paul wrote of God's refusal to assist him in overcoming his own “affliction” (with desire), and he wrote extensively about his own struggles with it (though most “Christians” prefer to ignore, or even worse, “interpret”, what Paul wrote in order to support their own beliefs, of course).
So, if we cannot restrain desire, what are we expected to do with it when it interferes with our communion with the Ultimate Truth? Well, if there were an answer to that question that could be simply put into words then there probably would never have been a “fall from grace” in the first place. Yet, while I can't speak for everyone, I can express my own thoughts on the one approach to this dilemma that seems most honest to me.
I think we should become friends with our desires! Rather than pushing them away, which only forces them to become more devious and manipulative, we should embrace them, “talk” to them, and more importantly, “listen” to them. As we get to know them we will find (at least I have) that they are a lot like people, and not “bad” people at all!
Of course, in order to befriend our desires we must learn to communicate with them. I find that the best way to do this is to start by “listening” carefully. In practical terms that means paying conscious attention to them. I “listen” most intently to my own desires while I am meditating.
Of course, I also “listen” carefully while I am engaging them. I think most people “tune out” when they are “giving in” to their desires. This is a mistake. It promotes detachment and alienation from an important part of yourself, namely your desires.
I have come to realize that my desires are so much like individual people, with egos and the whole nine yards, that if I treat them with love and respect they in turn tend to treat me the same way. Likewise, I have found that by ignoring them and berating them disrespectfully I only end up incurring the same treatment from them.
My desires seem to behave in complete disregard for my feelings and interests if I don't treat them with the same love and respect that I would give my own children. And in many surprizing ways, they are exactly like my own children! Sri Aurobindo seems to understand this as well. He writes that our thoughts (and desires), “... are forms, and have an individual life, independent of their author”. In his book, Powers Within, Aurobindo discusses this concept at great length and expounds on the importance of recognizing our thoughts as our own children that we send out into the world to find their way, and whom eventually “return home” to you.
If we try to control our desires with threats and intimidation, then, like children, they end up rebelling against us and even intentionally acting in spite of us. But if we listen to them, and try honestly to understand and love them as an extension of ourselves, then maybe they will even confide in us what their own desires are! To achieve this level of communication takes time and patience. But once you have gained their trust, then they will share their own motivations with you; motivations that they normally keep to themselves (“unconscious” to you) out of fear that you might turn this knowledge against them. It is in effect like knowing the name of a demon. It gives you power over it, but it does not let you destroy it. How you use that power will ultimately determine your eternal fate.
So, I believe that the only true path to lasting and meaningful control over your desires is to develope a mutually loving and respectful relationship with them. Get to know them, and let them get to know you. Like any parent-child relationship, it is important that you yourself set a good example. You can only do this of course, by coming to know and understand your own purpose (i.e. primary motivation) in life. If you do not already know this, then I'd suggest you find out. It is YOUR True Name, the one that will or will not be found “written in the book of life” at the “end of days”. If you ever expect your children to respect and obey you, and tell you their “names”, then you will have to tell them yours.
If we think of God as “Love”, then perhaps it is only with his help after all that we will ever win the obediance from our desires that can only come with love and respect. In this case God is perhaps teaching us by example (as I believe He always does). He never asks us to do what He Himself isn't willing and able to do; not even be a human being with human desires!
If your desires are completely out of control (as mine clearly were when I raped and murdered children), then you cannot expect to earn their love and respect overnight; or even at all, especially if they are relatively “grown” and mature desires. But, with enough patience and time, you can come to know your desires well enough to at least befriend them. And if, like me, your relationship with your desires is severely strained with a painful past, then perhaps a friendship is the best you can hope for. In that case you will have little hope of ever winning their devotion and obedience, but at least you can be friendly (non-abusive) with each other, and talk, share secrets (which otherwise would remain “unconscious” to you), and perhaps even dance arm-in-arm once in a while, as good friends should.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
The Coldest Blooded Killer Of All
Have you ever been a bully? Think honeslty about this, because the truth in this matter can be very enlightening.
When I was a kid, more often than not I was the victim of bullying, in school, in my neighbourhood and even in my own family. But on one or two occasions I clearly remember becoming the bully. And I remember the reason I did so in every case: peer preasure.
I once turned on my own best friend, simply because for a rare moment I felt accepted by a group of other boys for doing so. I actually tried to apologize to him later, but he just shrugged it off and said it was okay, he "understood", which made me feel even worse.
But I didn't understand. It was the first time I ever really sucumbed to peer preasure. As a younger child, for some reason, peer preasure did not seem to be a part of my world.
Once, around age six, I was playing with a group of other boys around my age in a playground sandbox. Suddenly several of the other kids started yelling, “Oh no! Here comes that stupid German kid!” (we lived on an Army base in Germany, and sometimes German families would come visit the American families on base). All the other kids scattered; except me. I just continued playing with my toy jeep in the sandbox as I watched the unfamiliar boy approach. He came straight up to me since I was the only child who didn't run away from him and began a jovial though mostly one-sided conversation with me in German.
So what happened between the age of six and fifteen, when with a group of other boyscouts on a camping trip I started calling my best friend names along with the other scouts because he was the only kid who couldn't run fast enough to jump up onto the the supply truck for a free ride back to the campsite? Mob mentality; a.k.a. peer preasure, that's what happened. It is the coldest blooded killer of all.
When I was a kid, more often than not I was the victim of bullying, in school, in my neighbourhood and even in my own family. But on one or two occasions I clearly remember becoming the bully. And I remember the reason I did so in every case: peer preasure.
I once turned on my own best friend, simply because for a rare moment I felt accepted by a group of other boys for doing so. I actually tried to apologize to him later, but he just shrugged it off and said it was okay, he "understood", which made me feel even worse.
But I didn't understand. It was the first time I ever really sucumbed to peer preasure. As a younger child, for some reason, peer preasure did not seem to be a part of my world.
Once, around age six, I was playing with a group of other boys around my age in a playground sandbox. Suddenly several of the other kids started yelling, “Oh no! Here comes that stupid German kid!” (we lived on an Army base in Germany, and sometimes German families would come visit the American families on base). All the other kids scattered; except me. I just continued playing with my toy jeep in the sandbox as I watched the unfamiliar boy approach. He came straight up to me since I was the only child who didn't run away from him and began a jovial though mostly one-sided conversation with me in German.
So what happened between the age of six and fifteen, when with a group of other boyscouts on a camping trip I started calling my best friend names along with the other scouts because he was the only kid who couldn't run fast enough to jump up onto the the supply truck for a free ride back to the campsite? Mob mentality; a.k.a. peer preasure, that's what happened. It is the coldest blooded killer of all.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Dancing With Desire
How do we dance with desire? Oh, but how we have forgotten. Our children will help us remember. They dance so well, without thought, or inhibition. They dance too, without shame or sin.
This is the dance; to be free to move, to speak, to show how we feel. This is the dance, consciousness arisen. To know only the truth, and fear only one false move. This is the dance, unforgotten .
To dance with desire is to dance in God's arms; safe, loved protedted, desired. It is also to dance in our neighbour's front yard, unbidden; insane to a world that is insane to you.
It is what want wants. It is what need gets. It is what desire is. To dance with desire is to live, knowing only that you are alive, and will be forever.
This is the dance; to be free to move, to speak, to show how we feel. This is the dance, consciousness arisen. To know only the truth, and fear only one false move. This is the dance, unforgotten .
To dance with desire is to dance in God's arms; safe, loved protedted, desired. It is also to dance in our neighbour's front yard, unbidden; insane to a world that is insane to you.
It is what want wants. It is what need gets. It is what desire is. To dance with desire is to live, knowing only that you are alive, and will be forever.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Christian Love
Shortly after my arrest in 2005, a Christian minister from a local parish came to visit me. I told him the following story in order to illustrate my understanding of divine love. The minister was so impressed by the story that he worked it into his next Sunday sermon. It was not well received.
Imagine that you walk into your young son's bedroom and find a naked man standing over your child's bed covered in blood. You look down and to your horror see the nude and sexually mutilated body of your child laying in a large pool of blood on the mattress. Your son is clearly dead.
When you look back at the man you see that he is holding a knife, also covered with blood, that he obviously used to murder your child. He waves the knife at you menacingly and warns you with wild eyes and a sinister smile to stay away.
Instead of attacking the man, or running away, you speak calmly and with steady assurance, and tell the man, even as your heart wrenches and tears pour down your face, that you forgive him, and that you understand why he has done this terrible thing.
Your tears and pain are for the loss of your son and equally for the terrible state of pain and confusion and desperation that you sense in the man who has killed your son. You beg the man to let you help him, and he is so stunned that he just stands still while you pick up one of your child's shirts from the floor and use it to whipe your own son's blood off of the murderer's body.
Gradually the murderer realizes you are no threat to him and he lets you lead him into the bathroom, where you run water and provide him with what he needs to get the rest of the blood off.
After he gets dressed, you take him into your kitchen and prepare some food to his order for him to eat. When he finishes, you tell him again that he is forgiven, and more importantly, that you love and understand him. You try to make him understand that you can feel his pain and confusion.
Eventually the man leaves, and you call the police to report the murder. The police don't believe your story about the man who killed your son, especially when you tell them with tears in your eyes that you forgave him and let him walk away. They arrest you and soon you are charged, convicted, and sentenced to die for the crime. But, of course, your only “crime” is unconditional love.
Actually this is an embellished version of the story I told the minister back in 2005. But the points it illustrates are the same. This is how Gos loves us, and it is how His Son commanded that we love each other.
The minister I told this story to later told me that several of his parishioners withdrew from his church's congregation when they learned the source of this story and that he was visiting me in jail.
The minister himself stopped coming to visit me when I refused to “accept the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior”. I told him that such “verbal circumcision” would only dishonor the genuine nature of forgiveness and love that I had already experienced. No words could, or should, ever express the divine presence that overcame me on that mountain. It was an ultra-personal experience that no words will ever adequately express.
I have not heard from that minister in over four years. I have come to suspect that he thinks the devil was attempting to influence him through me, merely because I raised doubts in his mind about his own beliefs; another sad case of blinded faith ingoramatitis.
God commands us to love and understand each other. No man is a devil deserving to be hated, though all men hear the devil's voice (deception). You can believe the lies, blindly, or open your eyes and see the Truth for yourself. God's command to love unconditionally is no more than a command to open your eyes, and to wake up!
And this command is spoken plainly and directly in our “hearts”. You should not need to “believe the Bible” in order to realize God's command. You should also realize that it is a command, not a suggestion. God is not telling us that we should try to love as he loves.He is commanding that we do so.
God would not issue such a command if it were not within the power of every living soul to comply. There will be no excuses on judgement day.
Imagine that you walk into your young son's bedroom and find a naked man standing over your child's bed covered in blood. You look down and to your horror see the nude and sexually mutilated body of your child laying in a large pool of blood on the mattress. Your son is clearly dead.
When you look back at the man you see that he is holding a knife, also covered with blood, that he obviously used to murder your child. He waves the knife at you menacingly and warns you with wild eyes and a sinister smile to stay away.
Instead of attacking the man, or running away, you speak calmly and with steady assurance, and tell the man, even as your heart wrenches and tears pour down your face, that you forgive him, and that you understand why he has done this terrible thing.
Your tears and pain are for the loss of your son and equally for the terrible state of pain and confusion and desperation that you sense in the man who has killed your son. You beg the man to let you help him, and he is so stunned that he just stands still while you pick up one of your child's shirts from the floor and use it to whipe your own son's blood off of the murderer's body.
Gradually the murderer realizes you are no threat to him and he lets you lead him into the bathroom, where you run water and provide him with what he needs to get the rest of the blood off.
After he gets dressed, you take him into your kitchen and prepare some food to his order for him to eat. When he finishes, you tell him again that he is forgiven, and more importantly, that you love and understand him. You try to make him understand that you can feel his pain and confusion.
Eventually the man leaves, and you call the police to report the murder. The police don't believe your story about the man who killed your son, especially when you tell them with tears in your eyes that you forgave him and let him walk away. They arrest you and soon you are charged, convicted, and sentenced to die for the crime. But, of course, your only “crime” is unconditional love.
Actually this is an embellished version of the story I told the minister back in 2005. But the points it illustrates are the same. This is how Gos loves us, and it is how His Son commanded that we love each other.
The minister I told this story to later told me that several of his parishioners withdrew from his church's congregation when they learned the source of this story and that he was visiting me in jail.
The minister himself stopped coming to visit me when I refused to “accept the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior”. I told him that such “verbal circumcision” would only dishonor the genuine nature of forgiveness and love that I had already experienced. No words could, or should, ever express the divine presence that overcame me on that mountain. It was an ultra-personal experience that no words will ever adequately express.
I have not heard from that minister in over four years. I have come to suspect that he thinks the devil was attempting to influence him through me, merely because I raised doubts in his mind about his own beliefs; another sad case of blinded faith ingoramatitis.
God commands us to love and understand each other. No man is a devil deserving to be hated, though all men hear the devil's voice (deception). You can believe the lies, blindly, or open your eyes and see the Truth for yourself. God's command to love unconditionally is no more than a command to open your eyes, and to wake up!
And this command is spoken plainly and directly in our “hearts”. You should not need to “believe the Bible” in order to realize God's command. You should also realize that it is a command, not a suggestion. God is not telling us that we should try to love as he loves.He is commanding that we do so.
God would not issue such a command if it were not within the power of every living soul to comply. There will be no excuses on judgement day.
Friday, June 24, 2011
My Eternal Life
I do not pretend to know what my experience will be after the body of Joseph E. Duncan III dies. I only know that my experiences will never end.
I do not know this because of anything I have read or have ever been told. And I do not know this because it comforts me to believe it. It does not comfort me; it humbles me and would terrify me if I let it.
But I have faith in the Universe that determins every experience I will ever have. I believe that all experience is ultimately purposeful. And I believe THAT because it DOES comfort me.
In other words, I don't KNOW my experience (i.e. my life) is purposeful, I only BELIEVE it is because to believe anything else causes me to suffer. And I don't BELIEVE I will live forever, I KNOW I will from having direct knowledge of The Eternal Being.
I do not know this because of anything I have read or have ever been told. And I do not know this because it comforts me to believe it. It does not comfort me; it humbles me and would terrify me if I let it.
But I have faith in the Universe that determins every experience I will ever have. I believe that all experience is ultimately purposeful. And I believe THAT because it DOES comfort me.
In other words, I don't KNOW my experience (i.e. my life) is purposeful, I only BELIEVE it is because to believe anything else causes me to suffer. And I don't BELIEVE I will live forever, I KNOW I will from having direct knowledge of The Eternal Being.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Materialism vs. Science
It has come to my attention that I have been mistaking materialism for science. But now I realize that I have been giving science a bad rap.
Materialism is a metaphysical ideology that even most scientists confuse with science itself. To claim that something metaphysical is unscientific is to imply that materialism is not a metaphysical viewpoint. My own confusion, often refering to science as a neo-religion, has been the result of my mistaking materialism for science.
Materialism exhibits all of the dogmatic and irrational faith-based belief systems that has defined religion from the beginning (note, shammanism and buddhism are not religions by themselves, but are turned into religions by those who like most scientists today, tur the experiences expressed by the shammans and buddhas into dogmatic belief systems).
The book, Science and the Near-Death Experience, by Chris Carter (see Fifthnail book list), has an excellent chapter that addresses just this confusion (chapter 16, p. 235). It opened my eyes, but note, that does not mean that my views have changed, only the words and terms I use to express those views have changed.
Materialism is a metaphysical ideology that even most scientists confuse with science itself. To claim that something metaphysical is unscientific is to imply that materialism is not a metaphysical viewpoint. My own confusion, often refering to science as a neo-religion, has been the result of my mistaking materialism for science.
Materialism exhibits all of the dogmatic and irrational faith-based belief systems that has defined religion from the beginning (note, shammanism and buddhism are not religions by themselves, but are turned into religions by those who like most scientists today, tur the experiences expressed by the shammans and buddhas into dogmatic belief systems).
The book, Science and the Near-Death Experience, by Chris Carter (see Fifthnail book list), has an excellent chapter that addresses just this confusion (chapter 16, p. 235). It opened my eyes, but note, that does not mean that my views have changed, only the words and terms I use to express those views have changed.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Philosophical Vanity
Any philosophy, theology, or ideology that presumes humans to be more significant than other living creatures is biased and useless.
If we cannot see ourselves as a part of the continuous spectrum of life then we only deprive ourselves of any significance at all.
So, if we have souls, then so must germs. If we have eternal life, then so must an insect. And if it is possible at all to know the source of our being, then it must be possible for all beings to equally know that source!
That does not mean that our individual relationships with (i.e. understanding of) our source must be the same. It only means that our ability to have a relationship with (or and understanding of) our source must be derived from the same principles. It is a mistake to take any intellectual understanding of our existence as devine or imperical at all. True understanding must have such a nature as to exist independently of all thought or intellect.
If we cannot see ourselves as a part of the continuous spectrum of life then we only deprive ourselves of any significance at all.
So, if we have souls, then so must germs. If we have eternal life, then so must an insect. And if it is possible at all to know the source of our being, then it must be possible for all beings to equally know that source!
That does not mean that our individual relationships with (i.e. understanding of) our source must be the same. It only means that our ability to have a relationship with (or and understanding of) our source must be derived from the same principles. It is a mistake to take any intellectual understanding of our existence as devine or imperical at all. True understanding must have such a nature as to exist independently of all thought or intellect.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
To Know Me Is To Love Me!
If you can put what you believe into words then you do not yet know what you believe.
I say that I believe in One Consciousness (i.e. “One God”). But to say this is not a true expression of my belief. My belief transends words. That is why I often seem to directly contradict myself. I can say just as honestly that there are an infinite number of gods (or conscious beings). Though these statements seem to contradict each other they are both true, but only in their own sense of expression. The ultimate truth about the unity or duplicity of consciousness is inexpressible. But – and this is important – it is knowable! (Gnostic)
In fact, it is directly known by all conscious beings. It is what I might call true belief, if that term wasn't as wore out as it is. To me, true belief is what everyone believes, but only a few realize. All religions are based on true belief, but no religion manages to convey it. It is impossible to convey, at least not with any human words.
To know God is to know yourself; and to know yourself is to know (and understand) me!
I say that I believe in One Consciousness (i.e. “One God”). But to say this is not a true expression of my belief. My belief transends words. That is why I often seem to directly contradict myself. I can say just as honestly that there are an infinite number of gods (or conscious beings). Though these statements seem to contradict each other they are both true, but only in their own sense of expression. The ultimate truth about the unity or duplicity of consciousness is inexpressible. But – and this is important – it is knowable! (Gnostic)
In fact, it is directly known by all conscious beings. It is what I might call true belief, if that term wasn't as wore out as it is. To me, true belief is what everyone believes, but only a few realize. All religions are based on true belief, but no religion manages to convey it. It is impossible to convey, at least not with any human words.
To know God is to know yourself; and to know yourself is to know (and understand) me!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
A Place For Me In The World
If I were to be miraculously exonerated of all crimes and set free to do my own will once more, I would like to go to Africa, as an AIDS worker. I realize that this will never happen. We are still a long way off from anything resembling constructive justice (our current system being almost exclusively destructive in nature). But some day, men like me will have a positive and constructive place in this world. I'm just saying that I think mine would be in a part of the world were ignorance is rampant and feral. I'm certain that my deviant sexual tendencies would naturally atrophy in such a place. I would feel valued and significant. And I would be kept busy working my ass off, so I'd never have time to day dream (i.e. fantasize). Any time that I did get would be too precious to squander on mere sexual fantasies. I'd use it to either meditate or contemplate ways to help the people I worked with.
Methinks I'd be happy there.
Methinks I'd be happy there.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
The Yellow Brick Road
A person who focusses their attention on the only thing in our experience that it is possible for us to know to be real soon begins to realize that all experience is a manifestation of that one thing.
What is the one thing? It is that we exist. Or as Descartes has exclaimed, “Cogito ergo sum”. I think, therefore I am. Descartes called this the first principle of pure philosophy. It is the starting point of the path to truth. The beginning of the Yellow Brick Road. But we must first kill the Wicked Witch of the East (our ego?) and claim her Ruby Slippers (consciousness?) as our own before we can begin that journey.
And of course, we all know where we will end up; right back where we started; Home!
What is the one thing? It is that we exist. Or as Descartes has exclaimed, “Cogito ergo sum”. I think, therefore I am. Descartes called this the first principle of pure philosophy. It is the starting point of the path to truth. The beginning of the Yellow Brick Road. But we must first kill the Wicked Witch of the East (our ego?) and claim her Ruby Slippers (consciousness?) as our own before we can begin that journey.
And of course, we all know where we will end up; right back where we started; Home!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
A Few Of My Beliefs
I believe that the core essence of my being is pure consciousness.
I believe that all consciousness is one infinite thing that exists in all places and all times at once.
I believe that my finite conscious experience, this present life, is no more than a page, or maybe just a name, in the eternal “book of life”.
I do not believe that this present life (my finite conscious experience) is eternal in any sense, nor would I want it to be, not even if I were a respected and wealthy king.
I believe death is a cherished friend of eternal life.
I believe that what I do today is more important than what I do tomorrow and more important than what I did yesterday. And, tomorrow I will believe the same.
I believe that each moment that I am alive (in the finite sense that any momentary experience has) extends forwards and backwards into infinity at the same time. No moment is ever truly finite, or otherwise seperated from infinity.
I believe that all consciousness is one infinite thing that exists in all places and all times at once.
I believe that my finite conscious experience, this present life, is no more than a page, or maybe just a name, in the eternal “book of life”.
I do not believe that this present life (my finite conscious experience) is eternal in any sense, nor would I want it to be, not even if I were a respected and wealthy king.
I believe death is a cherished friend of eternal life.
I believe that what I do today is more important than what I do tomorrow and more important than what I did yesterday. And, tomorrow I will believe the same.
I believe that each moment that I am alive (in the finite sense that any momentary experience has) extends forwards and backwards into infinity at the same time. No moment is ever truly finite, or otherwise seperated from infinity.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Screams Nobody Heard
I took the two children into the mountainous wilderness of Western Montana. I had killed an entire family, a man, woman and teenage boy, just so I could kidnap these two, a boy and a girl, aged nine and eight, to rape and molest at my leisure.
I stood naked at the edge of a cliff overlooking a dirt road that twisted and turned along the contours of a narrow valley. It was the only way to get to the clearing where I stood, staking my claim.
The children were behind me in the Jeep. They too were naked, watching and fearing my every move as I exposed myself to the forest, to the sky, and to them.
I dared anyone to see me, as I contemplated my situation. In a moment I would rape the children, but I felt compelled to do something else first; some necessary part of the script that would make my revenge more legitimate.
The instructions came, just as they always did, right when they were needed. There was something I had to say, but what?
Suddenly I knew.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice straining, booming across the valley, forming words, and challenging anyone to hear.
I screamed, “Where are you now? You fucking pigs!” Not a question, but a demand; and a challenge.
And I screamed, “How'ya gonna stop me from havin' my way with these children now, fucking coppers?!”
And I screamed, “What happened to all your power and authority, pigman?!”
Then, breathing heavily, I waited for an answer. But none came. Nobody heard my screams. Nobody would rescue the children. That was exactly the point that I needed to make. It was a symbolic formality that in my mind would justify what I was about to do to the children.
I turned around and walked back to the Jeep. I looked at the naked children, my prize. I saw the questioning terror in their eyes, and I imagined I could smell the smoldering fear in their hearts. For a moment I wanted to cry, but I laughed instead. I laugh so as not to cry.
I then pronounced their sentence.
“I'm gonna rape you”, I said, “and nobody's gonna save you, and nobody's gonna hear if you scream.”
Then I raped them.
And nobody tried to save them.
And nobody heard them scream.
(Originally written on November 4, 2010)
I stood naked at the edge of a cliff overlooking a dirt road that twisted and turned along the contours of a narrow valley. It was the only way to get to the clearing where I stood, staking my claim.
The children were behind me in the Jeep. They too were naked, watching and fearing my every move as I exposed myself to the forest, to the sky, and to them.
I dared anyone to see me, as I contemplated my situation. In a moment I would rape the children, but I felt compelled to do something else first; some necessary part of the script that would make my revenge more legitimate.
The instructions came, just as they always did, right when they were needed. There was something I had to say, but what?
Suddenly I knew.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice straining, booming across the valley, forming words, and challenging anyone to hear.
I screamed, “Where are you now? You fucking pigs!” Not a question, but a demand; and a challenge.
And I screamed, “How'ya gonna stop me from havin' my way with these children now, fucking coppers?!”
And I screamed, “What happened to all your power and authority, pigman?!”
Then, breathing heavily, I waited for an answer. But none came. Nobody heard my screams. Nobody would rescue the children. That was exactly the point that I needed to make. It was a symbolic formality that in my mind would justify what I was about to do to the children.
I turned around and walked back to the Jeep. I looked at the naked children, my prize. I saw the questioning terror in their eyes, and I imagined I could smell the smoldering fear in their hearts. For a moment I wanted to cry, but I laughed instead. I laugh so as not to cry.
I then pronounced their sentence.
“I'm gonna rape you”, I said, “and nobody's gonna save you, and nobody's gonna hear if you scream.”
Then I raped them.
And nobody tried to save them.
And nobody heard them scream.
(Originally written on November 4, 2010)
Friday, April 8, 2011
I am a Cowardly Ignoramus
To be clear, when I say that I am the most cowardly ignoramus that I know, I do not mean so disparagingly. I am simply making an objective observation. I am not consciously or intentionally a coward (i.e. ruled by fear), nor am I deliberately ignorant. But when I observe my own behaviors and thoughts I find evidence of both of these attributes. And though I may suspect others of behaving similarily, I can only have direct knowledge of my own cravenness, never anyone else's. Thus, I say I am the most craven person I know, because I am truly the only craven person I know.
I have also said that my greatest accomplishment has been being able to embrace my greatest failure. By this I do not mean that I condone my own cowardly ignorance, but neither do I condemn it. Instead I metaphorically say to it, “You are welcome inside my home (mind, heart, etc...), as long as you do not mind me keeping the lights on!”.
What I mean, is that every idea, emotion, thought, and experience that I have is subject to the constant “light” of consciousness. In other words, I tell my own mind, “I'm watching you!”. And then I do watch, as consciously as I can.
And what I see is an ugly mess (in places). But rather than quickly turning off the lights again, like most people do, I accept what I see, and set about the arduous task of putting things in order and cleaning up the messes, instead of merely denying my own sloven past.
I will probably not finish “cleaning house” before I am released (i.e. murdered by the government). But, my goal is not so much to have a “clean house” as it is to learn how to clean. Sometimes I even “make messes” just so I can clean them up again, and learn how to do it better.
So when I point out evidence of psychological messes in other people's lives, I only do so out of the understanding that comes from having cleaned (or at least found) those same messes in my own “house”. I do not mean to condemn or judge anyone. I'm not saying, “You should not be that way”. Instead, I am only trying to say, “You should be aware of the way you are!”
And when someone else says to me, “You are a coward!” I like to ask, “Could you please be more specific?” (that I might learn something new about myself!)
I have also said that my greatest accomplishment has been being able to embrace my greatest failure. By this I do not mean that I condone my own cowardly ignorance, but neither do I condemn it. Instead I metaphorically say to it, “You are welcome inside my home (mind, heart, etc...), as long as you do not mind me keeping the lights on!”.
What I mean, is that every idea, emotion, thought, and experience that I have is subject to the constant “light” of consciousness. In other words, I tell my own mind, “I'm watching you!”. And then I do watch, as consciously as I can.
And what I see is an ugly mess (in places). But rather than quickly turning off the lights again, like most people do, I accept what I see, and set about the arduous task of putting things in order and cleaning up the messes, instead of merely denying my own sloven past.
I will probably not finish “cleaning house” before I am released (i.e. murdered by the government). But, my goal is not so much to have a “clean house” as it is to learn how to clean. Sometimes I even “make messes” just so I can clean them up again, and learn how to do it better.
So when I point out evidence of psychological messes in other people's lives, I only do so out of the understanding that comes from having cleaned (or at least found) those same messes in my own “house”. I do not mean to condemn or judge anyone. I'm not saying, “You should not be that way”. Instead, I am only trying to say, “You should be aware of the way you are!”
And when someone else says to me, “You are a coward!” I like to ask, “Could you please be more specific?” (that I might learn something new about myself!)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
What Poe Didn't Know: An Answer To A Dream Within A Dream
I took your kiss upon the brow!
And, in not parting from the Now
Thus much let me avow -
You were not wrong, to deem
That your days have been a dream;
But, if hope has flown away
It alights upon another day,
And if in your vision you have none
Is it thereby forever gone?
All that we see or seem
Is yet, a dream within a dream.
You stood amid the roar
Of your own tormented shore,
And held within your hand
Those grains of golden sand -
"How few!" we heard you weep
With seas of sand beneath your feet,
And yet you weep – and yet you weep!
My God! why do you vainly grasp
What must defy our mortal clasp?
My God! why do you seek to save
The very sand that fills your grave?
If all that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream,
Perhaps the answer you should seek
Is who we are, when not asleep!
Inspired by: A Dream Within A Dream, by: Edgar Allan Poe
Received (and written) by: Joseph E. Duncan III (March 2011)
And, in not parting from the Now
Thus much let me avow -
You were not wrong, to deem
That your days have been a dream;
But, if hope has flown away
It alights upon another day,
And if in your vision you have none
Is it thereby forever gone?
All that we see or seem
Is yet, a dream within a dream.
You stood amid the roar
Of your own tormented shore,
And held within your hand
Those grains of golden sand -
"How few!" we heard you weep
With seas of sand beneath your feet,
And yet you weep – and yet you weep!
My God! why do you vainly grasp
What must defy our mortal clasp?
My God! why do you seek to save
The very sand that fills your grave?
If all that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream,
Perhaps the answer you should seek
Is who we are, when not asleep!
Inspired by: A Dream Within A Dream, by: Edgar Allan Poe
Received (and written) by: Joseph E. Duncan III (March 2011)
Saturday, April 2, 2011
The Weakness of Anger
If you think that getting angry makes you stronger, it is only because you are weak to begin with. Anger is a sign of weakness and fear, nothing more. The only strength that comes from it is superficial and desperate. The only purpose anger serves is to help a mentally weak person to overcome obsticals that any strong healthy person can surmount in stride.
There are no obsticals in life that a mentally strong and healthy person cannot overcome; not even death.
There are no obsticals in life that a mentally strong and healthy person cannot overcome; not even death.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Go away!
If you are reading this blog with the intention of coming to some conclusion about Joseph Duncan, then let me make it real easy for you: He is a sick, perverted, child-rapist/murderer, coward, selfish, pety, small minded, ignorant, queer, weakling who doesn't deserve to live.
There, that should make you happy.
Now, GO AWAY! Your wasting your time here.
But, if you are reading this blog in order to understand yourself (i.e. the world you live in, which is the same thing), then please don't let my insanity deter you and read on...
There, that should make you happy.
Now, GO AWAY! Your wasting your time here.
But, if you are reading this blog in order to understand yourself (i.e. the world you live in, which is the same thing), then please don't let my insanity deter you and read on...
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Death Is Not A Failure
When we fail to see beyond death, then death appears to us as a failure. But death is no more than another transformation of being essentially no different than the transformation that already occures from one moment to the next.
Who you were before you read the above paragraph is dead. And, who you are now as you read these words is a new creature. Yes, you have much in common with your former self, and yet for all the characteristics that you share with that other manifestation of yourself you can never ever be that person again. Your minute-old self is as dead as your now-self will be a thousand years from now.
So, you died. But is this then failure? Of course not. It is only transformation. And when the transformation from one moment to the next becomes so drastic that we no longer are able to psychologically make the connection between the two selves, such as when the body dies, that does not mean that the connection is lost either.
Who we are, the “I am” at the core of our being, is what connects all life, and all things together. When we realize this we become immune to the illusion of death. When we can see the stream of consciousness that runs continuously through all life, then death becomes a respected servant, and no longer a source of fear or apprehension.
This is what it means to put death beneath our feet. We see that death is a necessary part of eternal life, not our enemy at all. To defeat death is not to destroy it, it is only to see it for what it is; a necessary part of our journey through eternity; another transformation, nothing more. And certainly not a failure.
In fact, death, like defeat, will only make what dies stronger. This is why killing a killer makes no sense. It only makes the killer – that is, the reason the killer became a killer – stronger. No person exists without a cause. And killing a person without understanding their cause only strengthens it. To understand the cause is to gain power over it. And the only way to understanding is to seek its reflection inside of ourselves. Killing the killer is like smashing the mirror because you do not like what you see there. It is the failure to recognize yourself, the only real failure that can ever happen.
Who you were before you read the above paragraph is dead. And, who you are now as you read these words is a new creature. Yes, you have much in common with your former self, and yet for all the characteristics that you share with that other manifestation of yourself you can never ever be that person again. Your minute-old self is as dead as your now-self will be a thousand years from now.
So, you died. But is this then failure? Of course not. It is only transformation. And when the transformation from one moment to the next becomes so drastic that we no longer are able to psychologically make the connection between the two selves, such as when the body dies, that does not mean that the connection is lost either.
Who we are, the “I am” at the core of our being, is what connects all life, and all things together. When we realize this we become immune to the illusion of death. When we can see the stream of consciousness that runs continuously through all life, then death becomes a respected servant, and no longer a source of fear or apprehension.
This is what it means to put death beneath our feet. We see that death is a necessary part of eternal life, not our enemy at all. To defeat death is not to destroy it, it is only to see it for what it is; a necessary part of our journey through eternity; another transformation, nothing more. And certainly not a failure.
In fact, death, like defeat, will only make what dies stronger. This is why killing a killer makes no sense. It only makes the killer – that is, the reason the killer became a killer – stronger. No person exists without a cause. And killing a person without understanding their cause only strengthens it. To understand the cause is to gain power over it. And the only way to understanding is to seek its reflection inside of ourselves. Killing the killer is like smashing the mirror because you do not like what you see there. It is the failure to recognize yourself, the only real failure that can ever happen.
Monday, March 14, 2011
What The *BLEEP* Do I Know?
I am careful to frequently assert my ignorance throughout this blog. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm just talking out of my ass like so many people do.
Everything I write is what I believe to be the honest truth, usually with careful consideration of the possibility that I may be unconsciously blowing smoke. I am always acutely aware that I have been frequently and gravely mistaken in the past about what I honestly believed to be true.
So my ignorance disclaimer is a way for me to protect my pride, I suppose. It allows me to speak freely and honestly without trapping myself in my own ignorance. If I learn tomorrow that I was mistaken about something I wrote today, or last week, or even ten years ago, I can just point to my disclaimer and unabashedly correct myself.
It gives me the freedom to grow and to learn to be even more honest. And it gives you the best assurance you can get that I'm not just bull*BLEEP*ing you! :)
As I have said before, if a person is not contradicting themselves then they are not learning and growing. And, if they are not learning and growing then they cannot possibly be being honest.
The most honest and wisest men in history have always contradicted themselves, frequently even in the same sentence. And the most dishonest and manipulative men have always stuck doggedly to their guns, defending their “truths” even to their dying breaths.
(It is interesting then that in our culture we quickly condemn the person who contradicts himself, even if it is only to correct a mistake, while at the same time we revere and reward the person who never changes their mind and hense never learns anything. We even teach our children to “not tell lies”, but what we are really teaching them is to not contradict themselves, and hense to not be honest by admitting their mistakes. Is it any wonder then that there is so much strife and dishonesty in this world when we so unwittingly worship deception?)
Everything I write is what I believe to be the honest truth, usually with careful consideration of the possibility that I may be unconsciously blowing smoke. I am always acutely aware that I have been frequently and gravely mistaken in the past about what I honestly believed to be true.
So my ignorance disclaimer is a way for me to protect my pride, I suppose. It allows me to speak freely and honestly without trapping myself in my own ignorance. If I learn tomorrow that I was mistaken about something I wrote today, or last week, or even ten years ago, I can just point to my disclaimer and unabashedly correct myself.
It gives me the freedom to grow and to learn to be even more honest. And it gives you the best assurance you can get that I'm not just bull*BLEEP*ing you! :)
As I have said before, if a person is not contradicting themselves then they are not learning and growing. And, if they are not learning and growing then they cannot possibly be being honest.
The most honest and wisest men in history have always contradicted themselves, frequently even in the same sentence. And the most dishonest and manipulative men have always stuck doggedly to their guns, defending their “truths” even to their dying breaths.
(It is interesting then that in our culture we quickly condemn the person who contradicts himself, even if it is only to correct a mistake, while at the same time we revere and reward the person who never changes their mind and hense never learns anything. We even teach our children to “not tell lies”, but what we are really teaching them is to not contradict themselves, and hense to not be honest by admitting their mistakes. Is it any wonder then that there is so much strife and dishonesty in this world when we so unwittingly worship deception?)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Judge Not...
We can, and do, only judge ourselves. It is not possible, under any circumstance, to judge another person. We can pretend to judge someone else all we want, and others can even pretend along with us. But, regardless of what we convince ourselves, in the final analysis, it will be only ourselves we have judged.
To realize this truth is to realize the futility of jurisprudence and the source of true justice at the same time.
To realize this truth is to realize the futility of jurisprudence and the source of true justice at the same time.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The Most Important Thing You Will Ever Know, Period.
Since I am about to convey you the absolute most important thing that you will ever know in your lifetime, I suggest that you take the time now to find a comfortable place to sit in a quiet location to give yourself plenty of time to reflect on what you are about to learn. I'll wait...
Now, before I tell you this most important thing of all, I should warn you that once it has been conveyed to you everything else in your life that you thought was important will of course be drastically affected. Thus, I further suggest that you take a moment to reflect on the things that are important to you and then decide if you really want to let them become less important by hearing what it is that I have to tell you. Do this now...
Also, having the most important knowledge in the entire universe just suddenly dumped into your mind can cause severe shock, or worse, even physical damage to your brain, if you are not prepared to contain the information. So you should make sure you are mentally braced for the impact and willing to accept all risks as well. I'll wait while you do this also...
Okay, there is just one more thing that you need to do before learning this life altering information. This is necessary for my own peace of mind, so that if anything bad happens as a result of my letting you in on the ultimate truth then at least there will have been some contingency. Please at this time make sure that your last will and testiment is up to date...
Alright, I'm sorry about all the delays. But you realize of course that this is no ordinary piece of information that I am about to relay to you. So a little preparation is certainly warranted. And now, at last, I can tell you. But first, I must give you one final chance to make sure you are ready, or to change your mind. Please only continue when you are ready...
Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay, here is the most important thing you will ever know: You are...
(Due to unspecified technical limitations to human faculties of reason, this blog post has been inter rupted and suspended. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause to your higher brain functions. In the event of complete psychological collapse, call your mother (or some other loved one). Thank you for your patience and understanding.)
Now, before I tell you this most important thing of all, I should warn you that once it has been conveyed to you everything else in your life that you thought was important will of course be drastically affected. Thus, I further suggest that you take a moment to reflect on the things that are important to you and then decide if you really want to let them become less important by hearing what it is that I have to tell you. Do this now...
Also, having the most important knowledge in the entire universe just suddenly dumped into your mind can cause severe shock, or worse, even physical damage to your brain, if you are not prepared to contain the information. So you should make sure you are mentally braced for the impact and willing to accept all risks as well. I'll wait while you do this also...
Okay, there is just one more thing that you need to do before learning this life altering information. This is necessary for my own peace of mind, so that if anything bad happens as a result of my letting you in on the ultimate truth then at least there will have been some contingency. Please at this time make sure that your last will and testiment is up to date...
Alright, I'm sorry about all the delays. But you realize of course that this is no ordinary piece of information that I am about to relay to you. So a little preparation is certainly warranted. And now, at last, I can tell you. But first, I must give you one final chance to make sure you are ready, or to change your mind. Please only continue when you are ready...
Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay, here is the most important thing you will ever know: You are...
(Due to unspecified technical limitations to human faculties of reason, this blog post has been inter rupted and suspended. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause to your higher brain functions. In the event of complete psychological collapse, call your mother (or some other loved one). Thank you for your patience and understanding.)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Natural Compassion
I have written in this blog that compassion is not an emotion. This may be a confusing misuse of words on my part. Compassion is not an emotion, but it requires us to be able to feel emotion. You could say that compassion is the ability to listen to our emotions, but it is not in itself an emotion.
To have true compassion it is necessary to be able to let our emotions guide our behavior and thoughts without interference from our ego. When the ego gets in the way we end up letting our thoughts rule our emotions instead of the other way around. This always results in suffering of one form or another, either pain or pleasure. Regardless of the result, our egos can never be compassionate, though it frequently tries to convince us we are being compassionate when we have thoughts that invoke feelings of sympathy for another person. By raising your consciousness you become aware of these thoughts and begin to be able to distinguish between the false emotions they generate (false compassion) and the genuine emotions that come directly and unhindered (innocently) from your heart (“heart” is just a convenient term for the complex inner-workings of your unconscious mind). Only by learning to listen to these emotions do you begin to naturally have compassion.
To have true compassion it is necessary to be able to let our emotions guide our behavior and thoughts without interference from our ego. When the ego gets in the way we end up letting our thoughts rule our emotions instead of the other way around. This always results in suffering of one form or another, either pain or pleasure. Regardless of the result, our egos can never be compassionate, though it frequently tries to convince us we are being compassionate when we have thoughts that invoke feelings of sympathy for another person. By raising your consciousness you become aware of these thoughts and begin to be able to distinguish between the false emotions they generate (false compassion) and the genuine emotions that come directly and unhindered (innocently) from your heart (“heart” is just a convenient term for the complex inner-workings of your unconscious mind). Only by learning to listen to these emotions do you begin to naturally have compassion.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Demanding freedom
I am physically confined in a concrete cell eight feet by ten feet, and yet I am just as “free” as anyone else.
I'm not just telling myself that I am free in order to escape my imprisonment through denial. In fact, I don't believe I am “free” at all. And that's my point; nobody is!
Can you walk on the sun, or even the moon for that matter? Of course not. And neither can I. So we are not free.
But wait, this is no mere word play with exaggeration. This is a serious restriction on our freedom! We do not recognize the seriousness of it because we just accept it. But we don't have to accept it at all!
We were meant to be truly free! And if we don't demand our freedom from the universe then we make ourselves slaves to it.
Demand to be free! And don't stop until you are.
I'm not just telling myself that I am free in order to escape my imprisonment through denial. In fact, I don't believe I am “free” at all. And that's my point; nobody is!
Can you walk on the sun, or even the moon for that matter? Of course not. And neither can I. So we are not free.
But wait, this is no mere word play with exaggeration. This is a serious restriction on our freedom! We do not recognize the seriousness of it because we just accept it. But we don't have to accept it at all!
We were meant to be truly free! And if we don't demand our freedom from the universe then we make ourselves slaves to it.
Demand to be free! And don't stop until you are.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
We Need A New Religion
Articulating our understanding of consciousness will ultimately require a new religion. Science cannot do it, and the older religions hardly even try because they too are clearly inept.
Our most advanced methodology for deriving an understanding of the nature of our world is constricted to external experience. In fact, early on science was apt to conclude that external experience was the only thing that could be considered real. Extreme sects of this belief system, such as Behavioralism, even became widely accepted. Such views are in decline today (though remarkably still clung to by many) because of the overwhelming number of experiments (i.e. experiences) that contradict the very existence of any external reality at all.
Science is currently struggling, as all religions do when experience begins to contradict the basis of their methodology, to find a new definition for God (a.k.a. Theory of Everything) that will conform to its way of thinking. But the inevitable is already clear: Science has failed in its mission to explain the ultimate nature of the world, and there is evidently no chance of it ever succeeding.
We need not just a new science, but a whole new way of approaching the truth. We need a new religion The holy scientific method has been exposed as another false, or at least limited religion at last. Now we can move on, forward to a better religion, or perhaps backward to a purer religion. Whatever we do, we must abandon science, for it has not only failed to provide the ultimate answers that we crave, but in so failing it has brought us to the brink of self annihilation.
We instinctively know that if we cannot grasp the true nature of our reality then we will never be able to claim our relationship to it (i.e. inherit heaven). We must know our ultimate Father before we can ever truly know ourselves.
So the search goes on, and I will humbly make this one small suggestion to those who would join the ultimate quest: Look within. And the new religion must needs do the same.
Our most advanced methodology for deriving an understanding of the nature of our world is constricted to external experience. In fact, early on science was apt to conclude that external experience was the only thing that could be considered real. Extreme sects of this belief system, such as Behavioralism, even became widely accepted. Such views are in decline today (though remarkably still clung to by many) because of the overwhelming number of experiments (i.e. experiences) that contradict the very existence of any external reality at all.
Science is currently struggling, as all religions do when experience begins to contradict the basis of their methodology, to find a new definition for God (a.k.a. Theory of Everything) that will conform to its way of thinking. But the inevitable is already clear: Science has failed in its mission to explain the ultimate nature of the world, and there is evidently no chance of it ever succeeding.
We need not just a new science, but a whole new way of approaching the truth. We need a new religion The holy scientific method has been exposed as another false, or at least limited religion at last. Now we can move on, forward to a better religion, or perhaps backward to a purer religion. Whatever we do, we must abandon science, for it has not only failed to provide the ultimate answers that we crave, but in so failing it has brought us to the brink of self annihilation.
We instinctively know that if we cannot grasp the true nature of our reality then we will never be able to claim our relationship to it (i.e. inherit heaven). We must know our ultimate Father before we can ever truly know ourselves.
So the search goes on, and I will humbly make this one small suggestion to those who would join the ultimate quest: Look within. And the new religion must needs do the same.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Why I Don't Kill Myself
I suspect that when this body dies that the psychological sickness that has haunted my life will die with it. But at the same time I fear that the CAUSE of the sickness will persist in one form or another after my death. And that is why getting at the cause of my sickness is so important to me.
If I thought the cause would somehow die with this body then I would destroy it myself without hesitation. I have no reason to doubt this kind of resolve, since my history bears my tendency to put principle before my own life. The thoughts I think may be subject to the disease I suffer and therefore are not to be trusted. But, what I do, and have done in the past, is subject only to my true nature, and therefore can be trusted to illustrate the truth. So I am as sure as I can be that the cause of my sickness is not in my body, or my mind. For if it were then I would have killed myself long ago.
If I thought the cause would somehow die with this body then I would destroy it myself without hesitation. I have no reason to doubt this kind of resolve, since my history bears my tendency to put principle before my own life. The thoughts I think may be subject to the disease I suffer and therefore are not to be trusted. But, what I do, and have done in the past, is subject only to my true nature, and therefore can be trusted to illustrate the truth. So I am as sure as I can be that the cause of my sickness is not in my body, or my mind. For if it were then I would have killed myself long ago.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Cold Compassion
Compassion is not a feeling or an emotion. To feel sorry for someone, or to feel sympathy is not compassion. I felt sorry for every person I killed. I thought that meant I was a compassionate person. I was wrong.
Compassion is the will to act out of understanding. Feeling sorry for someone often actually prevents us from being compassionate. Compassion understands emotional anguish, but it does not cater to it. True compassion is as emotionally cold as a natural predator. In fact, a true predator is driven by compassion, not lust, or wrath, or any other emotion. No rapist is ever really a true predator.
But, cold compassion is not unloving or inhuman. True compassion rises above feeble human feelings and raises us into the realm of eternal life. In truth, real compassion can only come from the eternal sense of reality, which is a world that surrounds us in space and time though we are unaware of it until our self deception (and illusion of space and time) wanes.
The emotions that we commonly call compassion (such as sympathy) lead us to do more harm than good when we turn to them for a sense of purpose. In and of themselves, these feelings are benign, and clearly even necessary. Like hunger, sympathy serves an important role toward our physical well-being. But also like hunger, sympathy can become a dangerous addiction that compels us to overfeed our egos the way hunger, when not checked, compels us to overfeed our bodies.
If you doubt what I am saying here, then you effectively doubt the wisdom and compassion of the Universe (i.e. “God”), which sadly, most people do; even professing Christians, Muslims and Jews. Consider the child that is born only to suffer a few years of poverty, disease and starvation, then dies for lack of just a few dollars worth of food and medicine. Now, consider this child living over a thousand years ago, so the lack of food and medicine is “natural”, and not any man's fault.
Is the Universe without compassion? If you say yes, then you do not yet understand what compassion is, and nor can you realize the true meaning of salvation. Salvation is the realization of true compassion.
Compassion is the will to act out of understanding. Feeling sorry for someone often actually prevents us from being compassionate. Compassion understands emotional anguish, but it does not cater to it. True compassion is as emotionally cold as a natural predator. In fact, a true predator is driven by compassion, not lust, or wrath, or any other emotion. No rapist is ever really a true predator.
But, cold compassion is not unloving or inhuman. True compassion rises above feeble human feelings and raises us into the realm of eternal life. In truth, real compassion can only come from the eternal sense of reality, which is a world that surrounds us in space and time though we are unaware of it until our self deception (and illusion of space and time) wanes.
The emotions that we commonly call compassion (such as sympathy) lead us to do more harm than good when we turn to them for a sense of purpose. In and of themselves, these feelings are benign, and clearly even necessary. Like hunger, sympathy serves an important role toward our physical well-being. But also like hunger, sympathy can become a dangerous addiction that compels us to overfeed our egos the way hunger, when not checked, compels us to overfeed our bodies.
If you doubt what I am saying here, then you effectively doubt the wisdom and compassion of the Universe (i.e. “God”), which sadly, most people do; even professing Christians, Muslims and Jews. Consider the child that is born only to suffer a few years of poverty, disease and starvation, then dies for lack of just a few dollars worth of food and medicine. Now, consider this child living over a thousand years ago, so the lack of food and medicine is “natural”, and not any man's fault.
Is the Universe without compassion? If you say yes, then you do not yet understand what compassion is, and nor can you realize the true meaning of salvation. Salvation is the realization of true compassion.
The Reason Why
To ask why I did what I did is to ask why I was born. No matter what answer you give or get, no answer will ever be all there is to it.
If you truly want to understand, do not ask “Why?”. But instead ask, “Who?”.
Asking “Why?” changes nothing, and only allows the pain to continue. But, asking “Who?” will change everything, and turns the pain into understanding, so we can grow, and so we can heal.
The answer is who I am, not why.
You are who I am.
And that, is why.
If you truly want to understand, do not ask “Why?”. But instead ask, “Who?”.
Asking “Why?” changes nothing, and only allows the pain to continue. But, asking “Who?” will change everything, and turns the pain into understanding, so we can grow, and so we can heal.
The answer is who I am, not why.
You are who I am.
And that, is why.
An Ode To The Killer
I know the reason why
I know the reason for your hate
And I know the reason for your pain
I know the reason for my love
And I know the reason we're not the same
God's Love
God's Love is the reason
And God's Love will bring you down.
I wrote the above in a small black journal in 1997, the day after Anthony Martinez was raped and murdered. (The police have this book in evidence and actually presented this page of it as evidence in the Federal trial to kill me, though they never referred to it in their arguments, so the reason that they presented it remains unclear)
This poem came to me while I was driving away from Indio, California (where I am presently jailed). I had to stop to write it down. It seemed important. It ended up being prophetic in a way I could never have imagined at the time I wrote it. It was indeed God's Love, as expressed through the innocence of a little girl, that caused me to stop killing and turn myself in.
I know the reason for your hate
And I know the reason for your pain
I know the reason for my love
And I know the reason we're not the same
God's Love
God's Love is the reason
And God's Love will bring you down.
I wrote the above in a small black journal in 1997, the day after Anthony Martinez was raped and murdered. (The police have this book in evidence and actually presented this page of it as evidence in the Federal trial to kill me, though they never referred to it in their arguments, so the reason that they presented it remains unclear)
This poem came to me while I was driving away from Indio, California (where I am presently jailed). I had to stop to write it down. It seemed important. It ended up being prophetic in a way I could never have imagined at the time I wrote it. It was indeed God's Love, as expressed through the innocence of a little girl, that caused me to stop killing and turn myself in.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
There Are No Facts
Modern science is only just beginning to realize what mystics have known all along; that the truth is a potentiality, not a fact.
Honesty is a Contradiction
To say one thing and do another is hypocrisy. But, to say one thing and then say another is honesty. The nature of truth is such that it can never be fully expressed with words. So, if your words do not contradict themselves then you are probably not being honest. In fact, a sure sign of a dishonest person is extreme verbal consistency, usually accompanied by hypocritical deeds.
"Consistency is a paste jewel that only cheap men cherish" - William Allen White
"Consistency is a paste jewel that only cheap men cherish" - William Allen White
Saturday, January 22, 2011
What I Deserve
There is no corresponding element in nature for the intellectual concept of just deserts. Obviously then, no one really deserves to live or to die. And yet nearly all of the pain and suffering inflicted by people against other people is done in the guise of what someone else deserves.
The rapist believes either his victim deserves to be raped or he deserves the pleasure of raping her. The soldier believes the enemy deserves to be killed. And the jurist believes that the murderer deserves to die.
You might think that some people clearly deserve to die, such as a man like myself, who has raped and murdered children. But if I deserve to die, then so do you.
“No man is an island”. And no man exists or behaves independent of social influence.
To say that I deserve to die is to ignore the very reasons that I raped and killed in the first place. To ignore these reasons is to ultimately condone what I did, in the sense that you are allowing it to happen all over again!
Blaming me, and then killing me (a.k.a. Scapegoating) accomplishes nothing. Oh sure, it temporarily relieves the anguish that is primarily caused by fear. That is, it prettends to remove the problem, while at the same time making the real problem get worse, usually much worse.
The problem in my case was that I was rejected and punished by society for perfectly natural behavior that resulted from confusion as a child over the very mixed signals I got over my sexual feelings. The problem was exacerbated by societies own irrational anxieties over juvenile sexual interests. I acted out of my confusion with no intentional malace. And for the one hour of sexual imposition that I forced on another boy I was sent to prison for 20 years, where I was convinced by means of psychological torture that I was a “sexual psychopath”, and repeatedly raped and physically abused by other inmates. And when I finally got out of prison I found no hope of social redemption, or acceptance.
The boy I raped became a man who is to this day convinced that I got what I deserved because of what I did to him. He thinks being forced once to swallow another boy's semen has “scared him for life”. He seems to have no idea of what it's like to be the confused boy who made him swallow the semen. Even then, when I was but 16 years old, I would have traded my misery for his in a heartbeat. He at least has sympathy and compassion for his one confusing experience. All I got was a lifetime of much much worse pain and confusion, with no sympathy at all.
And so is it really any surprize that after I started to realize that I wasn't a “sexual psychopath” at all, that I had (and have) a real heart that was sorely wounded, and yet I was systematically forced to play the role of the “monster”, a role I despised... is it then any wonder that I wanted justice?
I quickly realized, as all convicts do, that if I wanted any justice at all I would have to take it for myself. And so I did; indeed, so I did.
And now I only laugh, morbidly, when I think about how society thinks I “deserve to die”. If anyone could ever deserve to die then I am certainly one. But, so was Jesus. After all, his crimes (open blaspheme) in that day and age were considered far worse then child rape or even murder. A man who killed a common child in those days would have been sued for the value of the lost child, not even criminally charged (unless he could not pay the restitution, and that would have been a completely seperate offense). But a man who blasphemed was the lowest of the low! It was an attack on what society at the time considered most sacred and innocent of all. Why else do you think they spit on him and demanded that he be crucified? In their eyes Jesus got exactly what he deserved. Only Pontius Pilate saw the insanity of it because it wasn't his image of god that was blasphamed.
So I laugh, yet I cry at the same time when I think of all the children yet to be raped and murdered because they live in a society that does not yet know how to take responsibility for what its citizens do. And I cry even more for all the children in our society who grow up to be men like me, still confused by their own behavior and even their own thoughts because the world they live in offers them no help, no understanding, and no sympathy at all. Society attacks such men with the same hatred and vehemence that it once attacked Jesus with. And, for the same fundamental reasons; blaspheme of sacred social images of the holy and innocent.
(No, I'm not suggesting child rape should be condoned. All I'm saying is that children would not get raped if we learned to take responsibility for when it happens instead of blaming the rapist and “putting him away” or “punishing” him. After I was arrested as a 16 year old boy, I wanted “help” more than anything in the world. I knew there was something ”wrong” with me, but I didn't know what. Almost all so-called “sex offenders” feel exactly the same way, at least they do the first time they get in trouble, but after that they quickly learn that there is no help, so they almost always eventually resolve to just “be what they are” and keep on hurting themselves and other people. All of which is completely unnecessary, if instead of blaming them and punishing them we simply asked them, “What's wrong?”. Then listen to what they tell us, and sincerely try to help!)
The only solution is really so simple that I frequently cry when I think about how so many people (especially children) suffer so unnecessarily. The solution to crime is love (understanding), anything else is just more crime.
The rapist believes either his victim deserves to be raped or he deserves the pleasure of raping her. The soldier believes the enemy deserves to be killed. And the jurist believes that the murderer deserves to die.
You might think that some people clearly deserve to die, such as a man like myself, who has raped and murdered children. But if I deserve to die, then so do you.
“No man is an island”. And no man exists or behaves independent of social influence.
To say that I deserve to die is to ignore the very reasons that I raped and killed in the first place. To ignore these reasons is to ultimately condone what I did, in the sense that you are allowing it to happen all over again!
Blaming me, and then killing me (a.k.a. Scapegoating) accomplishes nothing. Oh sure, it temporarily relieves the anguish that is primarily caused by fear. That is, it prettends to remove the problem, while at the same time making the real problem get worse, usually much worse.
The problem in my case was that I was rejected and punished by society for perfectly natural behavior that resulted from confusion as a child over the very mixed signals I got over my sexual feelings. The problem was exacerbated by societies own irrational anxieties over juvenile sexual interests. I acted out of my confusion with no intentional malace. And for the one hour of sexual imposition that I forced on another boy I was sent to prison for 20 years, where I was convinced by means of psychological torture that I was a “sexual psychopath”, and repeatedly raped and physically abused by other inmates. And when I finally got out of prison I found no hope of social redemption, or acceptance.
The boy I raped became a man who is to this day convinced that I got what I deserved because of what I did to him. He thinks being forced once to swallow another boy's semen has “scared him for life”. He seems to have no idea of what it's like to be the confused boy who made him swallow the semen. Even then, when I was but 16 years old, I would have traded my misery for his in a heartbeat. He at least has sympathy and compassion for his one confusing experience. All I got was a lifetime of much much worse pain and confusion, with no sympathy at all.
And so is it really any surprize that after I started to realize that I wasn't a “sexual psychopath” at all, that I had (and have) a real heart that was sorely wounded, and yet I was systematically forced to play the role of the “monster”, a role I despised... is it then any wonder that I wanted justice?
I quickly realized, as all convicts do, that if I wanted any justice at all I would have to take it for myself. And so I did; indeed, so I did.
And now I only laugh, morbidly, when I think about how society thinks I “deserve to die”. If anyone could ever deserve to die then I am certainly one. But, so was Jesus. After all, his crimes (open blaspheme) in that day and age were considered far worse then child rape or even murder. A man who killed a common child in those days would have been sued for the value of the lost child, not even criminally charged (unless he could not pay the restitution, and that would have been a completely seperate offense). But a man who blasphemed was the lowest of the low! It was an attack on what society at the time considered most sacred and innocent of all. Why else do you think they spit on him and demanded that he be crucified? In their eyes Jesus got exactly what he deserved. Only Pontius Pilate saw the insanity of it because it wasn't his image of god that was blasphamed.
So I laugh, yet I cry at the same time when I think of all the children yet to be raped and murdered because they live in a society that does not yet know how to take responsibility for what its citizens do. And I cry even more for all the children in our society who grow up to be men like me, still confused by their own behavior and even their own thoughts because the world they live in offers them no help, no understanding, and no sympathy at all. Society attacks such men with the same hatred and vehemence that it once attacked Jesus with. And, for the same fundamental reasons; blaspheme of sacred social images of the holy and innocent.
(No, I'm not suggesting child rape should be condoned. All I'm saying is that children would not get raped if we learned to take responsibility for when it happens instead of blaming the rapist and “putting him away” or “punishing” him. After I was arrested as a 16 year old boy, I wanted “help” more than anything in the world. I knew there was something ”wrong” with me, but I didn't know what. Almost all so-called “sex offenders” feel exactly the same way, at least they do the first time they get in trouble, but after that they quickly learn that there is no help, so they almost always eventually resolve to just “be what they are” and keep on hurting themselves and other people. All of which is completely unnecessary, if instead of blaming them and punishing them we simply asked them, “What's wrong?”. Then listen to what they tell us, and sincerely try to help!)
The only solution is really so simple that I frequently cry when I think about how so many people (especially children) suffer so unnecessarily. The solution to crime is love (understanding), anything else is just more crime.
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Cause of Understanding
The only thing I have to be ashamed of is shame itself. There is no shame in being an ignorant fool, it is only shameful to deny that you are one. To be such a fool is the very definition of being human. To deny our foolishness is the cause of shame. To embrace it is the cause of understanding.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The Power of One
When two or more people bond to each other, a synergistic consciousness arises that has the power to take over and direct the lives of the individuals who comprise the bonded unit. We normally take this for granted and seldom realize the extent that this higher consciousness dictates our lives when we are a member of such a unit. Instead we continue to perceive our thoughts and actions as our own. But if we question the source of our motivations, and if we question them honestly, such as through deep contemplative meditation, we soon find that strikingly few if any of our thoughts originate in our own mind. They are the result of our extremely complex unconscious experiences, which are determined by the groups or units that we are bonded to, such as family, community, world, and ultimately the universe. This process of unification occures on all levels of nature and consciousness. Quarks bond to form mesons, mesons (electrons, protons, etc...) bond to form atoms, atoms bond to make molecules, molecules form compounds, compounds (proteins, amino acids, etc...) become cells, cells bond to make organisms, and organisms bond to create us. But it doesn't stop there. We bond together as families, and families form communities, which make districts, states and nations. Nations bond (ultimately) to form hemispheres... which comprise the world. Actually, all bonded units are polorized into what you might call hemispheres. Male-Female, The Left and Right, and The East and West. Of course, it is what the Chinese have long called yin and yang. All bonded entities have yin and yang.
All bonded entities have yin and yang.
The synergy of bonding is so common that the language of every culture, even the most primative, revolves around it. Our most important and meaningful words reflect it. When we speak of love, we speak of this bonding force that any poet knows has a life and will all its own. All religions attempt to appease it by honoring it. Whether we call it love, or God, or life force, it is all the same. I call it consciousness, but only because that word best expresses my own experience with it. (I actually call it many things: “The Living Truth” was my favorite for a while after the first time I directly experienced it.) But it does not matter what we call it. It only matters that we recognize it, and acknowledge its devine soveriegnty.
All bonded entities have yin and yang.
The synergy of bonding is so common that the language of every culture, even the most primative, revolves around it. Our most important and meaningful words reflect it. When we speak of love, we speak of this bonding force that any poet knows has a life and will all its own. All religions attempt to appease it by honoring it. Whether we call it love, or God, or life force, it is all the same. I call it consciousness, but only because that word best expresses my own experience with it. (I actually call it many things: “The Living Truth” was my favorite for a while after the first time I directly experienced it.) But it does not matter what we call it. It only matters that we recognize it, and acknowledge its devine soveriegnty.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Blade of Truth
This blog is written in such a manner that anyone who knows what they are looking for will find it here, then hopefully quickly go away. But those who do not know, well, perhaps they will find what they are looking for too, but it won't be in this blog; it will be inside themselves.
The truth can never be written. But when it is written about, it can have many edges that can cut many ways. My hope in writing this blog about the truth, is to dull some of the more dangerous edges, while leaving the most important edge safely burried, but sharp as ever.
In the hands of an ignorant person – like a scalpel in the hands of a child – my words can do considerable damage. Not to me, but to others, especially the ignorant person wielding these words so foolishly.
But in the heart of an honest person, these same words can cut away calloused deception in the darkest (unconscious) recesses of the mind, exposing profound truths that may not always appear very beautiful at first. I cannot say what those truths will be, or even how they will appear. But I can tell you much about what the calloused deception looks like.
And that's what this blog is all about.
The truth can never be written. But when it is written about, it can have many edges that can cut many ways. My hope in writing this blog about the truth, is to dull some of the more dangerous edges, while leaving the most important edge safely burried, but sharp as ever.
In the hands of an ignorant person – like a scalpel in the hands of a child – my words can do considerable damage. Not to me, but to others, especially the ignorant person wielding these words so foolishly.
But in the heart of an honest person, these same words can cut away calloused deception in the darkest (unconscious) recesses of the mind, exposing profound truths that may not always appear very beautiful at first. I cannot say what those truths will be, or even how they will appear. But I can tell you much about what the calloused deception looks like.
And that's what this blog is all about.
The Ultimate Uncertainty Principle
The ultimate uncertainty principle says: It is not possible to know you are right and to be right at the same time.
This is perhaps the most profound realization I have had yet. It has the power to change the world, if it could ever be understood and embraced. But by its own assertion, it cannot be understood by direct observation.
Like Heisenburg's uncertainty principle, which says that observable quantities like position and momentum cannot be precisely known at the same time, this ultimate principle pins down the enigma of the dual nature of all energy and matter, including consciousness itself.
If consciousness is a form of energy, then Einstein proved over a hundred years ago that it is interchangeable with matter (by his most famous equation: e=mc^2). So why should we be surprized to find in quantum mechanic experiments that consciousness seems to effect matter?
In fact, consciousness, as quantum theory predicts, exists in both wave and particle form at the same time. We routinely observe this dual nature of consciousness all the time. We call it the conscious and unconscious mind.
The conscious mind (our individual consciousness) is the manifested “particle” state of conscious energy. The unconscious mind is the probability “wave” form of conscious energy. So every thought we have is manifested consciousness and the “silence” between thoughts is infinite conscious potential (the probability wave).
In order for something to be right, it must be the truth and it must be real (truth and real being pretty much the same thing). If something is true and real then it is also right. But a thought, which is a manifestation of infinite probability, is not real. It exists finitely, at a point in time. So nothing we can ever think will have the quality of infinity. Therefor, neither can it be real, as only something infinite can be said to be real at all (this should be self evident when carefully contemplated). Only infinite consciousness is real. So only a person who exists in a state of infinite consciousness can be right! Any thought such a person has of being right will immediately expell them from the state of infinite consciousness into a state of finite consciousness. This is the same thing that happens when a quantum of energy is observed. It becomes finite, as numerous scientific experiments confirm. (It is the “Quantum Enigma”)
This is perhaps the most profound realization I have had yet. It has the power to change the world, if it could ever be understood and embraced. But by its own assertion, it cannot be understood by direct observation.
Like Heisenburg's uncertainty principle, which says that observable quantities like position and momentum cannot be precisely known at the same time, this ultimate principle pins down the enigma of the dual nature of all energy and matter, including consciousness itself.
If consciousness is a form of energy, then Einstein proved over a hundred years ago that it is interchangeable with matter (by his most famous equation: e=mc^2). So why should we be surprized to find in quantum mechanic experiments that consciousness seems to effect matter?
In fact, consciousness, as quantum theory predicts, exists in both wave and particle form at the same time. We routinely observe this dual nature of consciousness all the time. We call it the conscious and unconscious mind.
The conscious mind (our individual consciousness) is the manifested “particle” state of conscious energy. The unconscious mind is the probability “wave” form of conscious energy. So every thought we have is manifested consciousness and the “silence” between thoughts is infinite conscious potential (the probability wave).
In order for something to be right, it must be the truth and it must be real (truth and real being pretty much the same thing). If something is true and real then it is also right. But a thought, which is a manifestation of infinite probability, is not real. It exists finitely, at a point in time. So nothing we can ever think will have the quality of infinity. Therefor, neither can it be real, as only something infinite can be said to be real at all (this should be self evident when carefully contemplated). Only infinite consciousness is real. So only a person who exists in a state of infinite consciousness can be right! Any thought such a person has of being right will immediately expell them from the state of infinite consciousness into a state of finite consciousness. This is the same thing that happens when a quantum of energy is observed. It becomes finite, as numerous scientific experiments confirm. (It is the “Quantum Enigma”)
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Rise and Fall of Death
The modern scientific view, that natural death caused by aging is a disease, is perhaps the most fatal error science has ever made. In the day that we perfect a “cure” for aging death itself will rise up as the supreme ruler of this world. In that day humans, who previously only anticipated death with trepidation, will universally fear death more than the loss of their soul. In that day death will become the ultimate source of fear, and by said virtue, the ultimate despot over the entire world (or at least the parts that have “the cure”).
Fortunately, every prophecy of this event – and there are many such prophecies – also predicts that death's reign will be very short and disasterous. But we don't need prophecies to tell us this future. It is written plainly throughout our history.
Fortunately, every prophecy of this event – and there are many such prophecies – also predicts that death's reign will be very short and disasterous. But we don't need prophecies to tell us this future. It is written plainly throughout our history.
According To The Laws Of Physics
According to the known laws of physics, if life is eternal then it must also be infinite. That means that in order for life to stretch forward into infinity, it must by definition also stretch backward into infinity. This is the meaning of the saying, “If it has a beginning, then it has an end”.
Also according to the laws of physics, if life is infinite in time then it must also be infinite in space. Einstein proved over a hundred years ago that time and space are one and the same thing. And since then, that proof has become a foundation of all modern physics. So in order for one person to have eternal life, all life must be eternal and all life must be one and the same life. This is the meaning of the saying, “There can be only one (eternal being)”.
And alas, according to the laws of physics, if all life is eternal, then every finite experience we have in life is locked into infinity. That means it is predetermined and undetermined at the same time. In physics they call this a state of superposition. It is the meaning of the saying, “If it has an end, then it already has”.
Also according to the laws of physics, if life is infinite in time then it must also be infinite in space. Einstein proved over a hundred years ago that time and space are one and the same thing. And since then, that proof has become a foundation of all modern physics. So in order for one person to have eternal life, all life must be eternal and all life must be one and the same life. This is the meaning of the saying, “There can be only one (eternal being)”.
And alas, according to the laws of physics, if all life is eternal, then every finite experience we have in life is locked into infinity. That means it is predetermined and undetermined at the same time. In physics they call this a state of superposition. It is the meaning of the saying, “If it has an end, then it already has”.
The Ultimate Servant
A true understanding of eternal life must not devalue life in the present. “Heaven” cannot be a place in space and time. Which means that it is not some place you go after you die (or otherwise leave this world). Heaven must exist in the here and now. Otherwise it is meaningless and even contrary to the Ultimate (Devine) Truth. Why this is so should be self evident under honest introspection.
A true understanding of eternal life will only enhance life in the present. It will cause our current existence to take on profound meaning and purpose. When we understand and believe our infinite nature then all struggle against death ceases. Death becomes our obedient servant, and safe to ignore; no longer a tyrannical master demanding our constant attention.
A true understanding of eternal life will only enhance life in the present. It will cause our current existence to take on profound meaning and purpose. When we understand and believe our infinite nature then all struggle against death ceases. Death becomes our obedient servant, and safe to ignore; no longer a tyrannical master demanding our constant attention.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Bad Actor
The best actors are able to convince themselves that they aren't acting while they are on stage. This is true especially for the stage of life.
For some reason I have never been able to convince myself that I am not just acting out a role given to me to play. I suppose that's why I am such a bad actor.
For some reason I have never been able to convince myself that I am not just acting out a role given to me to play. I suppose that's why I am such a bad actor.
The Mask of Shame
Pride is no more than a mask that shame wears in order to hide from the self. It is a fig leaf that we wear to hide our shame from God. To see this, we have only to consider the pride that is so commonly taken in the clothes we wear. We clothe ourselves primarily to cover our nakedness (the quintessential symbol of shame). By turning the clothes we wear into a symbol of pride, pride is revealed as no more than a mask that shame wears.
Honestly Ashamed
As much as I try to deny it, I am chasmically ashamed of what I have done and for what I am. I have denied this shame in the past because I recognize it as a primary source of my negative self destructive behavior. My attempts to deny my shame have not been motivated by a desire to make myself look better, or even feel better. But, I thought that if I deny my shame then perhaps I would not be ashamed, and my tendency toward anti-social behavior would be at least somewhat alleviated. Now I realize that my shame is not something that will go away just by denying it. Perhaps it will never go away.
I have also attempted to turn my shame into humility, with what I thought was some success. I was certainly humbled. But now I suspect that ultimately while humility embraces shame, it does not replace it. I must learn to live with my shame written on my face at all times, or I am not being an honest person. Perhaps that is all humility really is; being honestly ashamed.
I have also attempted to turn my shame into humility, with what I thought was some success. I was certainly humbled. But now I suspect that ultimately while humility embraces shame, it does not replace it. I must learn to live with my shame written on my face at all times, or I am not being an honest person. Perhaps that is all humility really is; being honestly ashamed.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Nothing Is Random
In order for there to be free will there must be meaningfulness. A choice is not a choice unless the constituents of that choice are given weight with meaning. Without meaning, a “choice” is only random. Random choice is not free choice. Fortunately, careful contemplation has revealed that purely random choices are impossible (this is supported by numerous scientific studies). If random choice is not possible, then only meaningful (free) choice remains. So, life as we know it does in fact have meaning.
What we perceive as random events are really events for which we are not conscious of their meaning (or purpose). Hense, when we witness a violent crime we commonly label it “random”. Or when we experience some natural catastrophy we think it too is random. But randomness is a meaningless word in and of itself. Everything has meaning, this is a self evident truth of being. We can find peace by embracing this truth. We can also find meaning.
What we perceive as random events are really events for which we are not conscious of their meaning (or purpose). Hense, when we witness a violent crime we commonly label it “random”. Or when we experience some natural catastrophy we think it too is random. But randomness is a meaningless word in and of itself. Everything has meaning, this is a self evident truth of being. We can find peace by embracing this truth. We can also find meaning.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Individuality Is Nowhere
When I speak of the perils of individuality (and there are many) I do not mean to imply that we should not be individuals. In fact, if my assertions are understood correctly, then it should be clear that only by viewing ourselves as one undivided being is it possible for us to be truly individual at all!
What I'm saying is that we become more individual only by denying the illusion of separation from the universe. If we see ourselves as separated from the universe, then no matter what color we dye our hair, or how unique the clothes we wear are, or even how strangely we behave, we are pathetically no different than every other delluded person out there. Only by becoming conscious of our true being do we become truly unique, and only then do our individual characteristics (such as hair color and behavior) have any meaning at all.
What I'm saying is that we become more individual only by denying the illusion of separation from the universe. If we see ourselves as separated from the universe, then no matter what color we dye our hair, or how unique the clothes we wear are, or even how strangely we behave, we are pathetically no different than every other delluded person out there. Only by becoming conscious of our true being do we become truly unique, and only then do our individual characteristics (such as hair color and behavior) have any meaning at all.
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