Projective Identification Of Discompassion

To imagine that it is possible for a person to live without compassion (“human monsters”) is a vice of ignorance.

We often convince ourselves of this possibility when we ourselves observe discompassion in our own thoughts and behavior.

Rather than take responsibility for this perceived failing in ourselves, we unconsciously shift it out into the world upon some convenient entity that seems insensitive to our experience.

And in order to prevent ourselves from realizing the connection between what we project and our own internal fallacy, we exaggerate the fault in the externalized form to the very extreme of its manifestation. We imagine that the target of our projected discompassion is a completely heartless human being with no sympathy at all (and therefore, ironically, deserving of our own lack of sympathy and compassion).

Because of this, some psychologists (and philosophers) say that we “become the monsters that we imagine”. But, the truth is that the only reason we imagine the monster in the first place is because it was already living inside us.

The “monsters” we perceive in the world are invariably products of our own discompassion, and the “evil” that they do is no more than a manifestation of our attempt to deny responsibility for the ugliness inside of ourselves.

So is “society” to blame for the monsters it imagines? Not at all! No one is to blame. The so-called monsters themselves are no less, and no more, to blame than anyone else; they do the same counter-projecting back onto society (or other people who project onto them).

No one can be “blamed” for not taking responsibility. In fact, blaming someone, even yourself, is just another way to not take responsibility. This is why I don't “blame” society for wanting to kill me (at least, not since I surrendered almost six years ago). If I blame them, or even myself, then I accomplish nothing. So instead I focus on what I can do to be responsible for what has happened, without blaming anyone.

If society wants to blame me, and project their discompassion onto me, to hide from their own responsibility, that's okay, for them. But not for me.