What is life in prison without the possibility of parole? That is a very subjective question. To some, it is a life worth living, restricted, but a life nonetheless. To others it is not life at all, it is no more than a living nightmare of deprivation, worse than death.
I belong to this later group. I say, “Give me liberty, or give me death!”. And I mean it. But I don't mean, as the original author of that statement, that I would rather fight to the death than be enslaved for life. I simply mean that I would rather be murdered by sanction of the state than live out my natural years in a modern penal institution.
And, it's not because of the restrictions that such a life would entail. It is not because of the lost so-called privileges of a free citizen. It's not because I wouldn't be able to have, or do, certain things. I could (and for many years have) live easily without such “freedoms”. But what I find it difficult and even excruciatingly painful to live without is intimate contact with someone I care deeply about.
It does not need to be a lover, just a brother, a sister, or mom, or dad, or even a good friend. And by intimate contact I don't mean sex, or even physical contact at all. I just mean regular interaction, such that that person shapes my thoughts (and behavior) every day. Such contact would free me from my “sickness” (this is a part of what I began to realize just before I surrendered to the present authorities of this world), and it would give me a chance at self-actualization.
Without someone to love, and to love me, in my life, I have no chance of ever coming to know my purpose. Without that chance, that hope, I would rather die. Not because I give up on life, but so I can move on with it! Maybe in my “next life”, in this world or some other, I will be able to appreciate what I gave up so much to learn in this world; that without love, there is nothing. Without forgiveness, there is only insanity.
PS: I realize, of course, that a “self-actualized” person would be able to love everyone. But, I also realize that we need someone to love to help us become self-actualized.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
My Children!
When I say that my fantasies have a will, motive and even consciousness of their own, I do not mean to imply that I have no power over them. In a sense, I realize that I am the “parent” of my fantasies (and thoughts and actions for that matter). So by attributing will and consciousness to my fantasies I am not attempting to shirk responsibility for them. I am only recognizing them for what they are: My children!
Learning to Drive
I do not follow where my mind leads. I instead let it wonder on its own, always watching it carefully, like a loving parent watches an immature child.
I know that my mind will never have true wisdom. So unlike a child it will never become independent of me. Perhaps my mistake in the past was to burden my mind with moral responsibilities that it was never meant to manage.
My mind is a remarkable machine, but no more (or less) of a machine than my body. My mind and body are essentially the same thing; a living organism. But I am the life in my body and in my mind.
In my dreams my physical form is frequently represented as a car that I am driving but can never quite completely control. I can actually gauge my mastery over my form (mind/body) by simply contemplating my ability to drive in my dreams. So far I'm not doing very well, but I am making progress at least.
It is possible to gauge my mastery of form when I am wide awake, but more difficult because I must watch not what just my mind does, but also what my body does and most significantly, the consequences that occure in my life. To ignore the consequences of my actions would be synonymous to driving a car without looking out the windows (which I frequently find myself doing in my dreams).
My thoughts are like a stearing wheel. So, if I don't look where I am going then it does not matter which way I turn my thoughts. This is why, in my efforts to learn how to “drive”, I am presently concentrating on what is going on around the “car”, and watching closely what effect my thoughts (and actions) have.
Slowly, but surely, I am learning to drive.
I know that my mind will never have true wisdom. So unlike a child it will never become independent of me. Perhaps my mistake in the past was to burden my mind with moral responsibilities that it was never meant to manage.
My mind is a remarkable machine, but no more (or less) of a machine than my body. My mind and body are essentially the same thing; a living organism. But I am the life in my body and in my mind.
In my dreams my physical form is frequently represented as a car that I am driving but can never quite completely control. I can actually gauge my mastery over my form (mind/body) by simply contemplating my ability to drive in my dreams. So far I'm not doing very well, but I am making progress at least.
It is possible to gauge my mastery of form when I am wide awake, but more difficult because I must watch not what just my mind does, but also what my body does and most significantly, the consequences that occure in my life. To ignore the consequences of my actions would be synonymous to driving a car without looking out the windows (which I frequently find myself doing in my dreams).
My thoughts are like a stearing wheel. So, if I don't look where I am going then it does not matter which way I turn my thoughts. This is why, in my efforts to learn how to “drive”, I am presently concentrating on what is going on around the “car”, and watching closely what effect my thoughts (and actions) have.
Slowly, but surely, I am learning to drive.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
What Education Is
Education is a word that is used to refer to the process of discovering the depth of our ignorance.
“...certainty is the enemy of true knowledge. Knowledge is a process, a journey toward, not an arrival. People who believe they possess certainty are capable of any atrocity, ranging from the concentration camps of the Nazis to the cross burnings of the KKK. Because they are certain they are right, these people feel they can justify any act of subhuman cruelty. Throughout history, it has been the doubters, the assailers of accepted truth, who have moved the species forward. A corollary to this thought is that the only thing you can truly learn in life is the depth of your own ignorance.”
Al Goldstein, Publisher
Screw Magazine
New York
“...certainty is the enemy of true knowledge. Knowledge is a process, a journey toward, not an arrival. People who believe they possess certainty are capable of any atrocity, ranging from the concentration camps of the Nazis to the cross burnings of the KKK. Because they are certain they are right, these people feel they can justify any act of subhuman cruelty. Throughout history, it has been the doubters, the assailers of accepted truth, who have moved the species forward. A corollary to this thought is that the only thing you can truly learn in life is the depth of your own ignorance.”
Al Goldstein, Publisher
Screw Magazine
New York
Sunday, December 19, 2010
True Religion
Only when we fail to recognize the intelligence that created us do we feel unloved by the universe. If we think of our existence as the result of random events, then how can we feel loved at all? The love we seek from other people under such circumstances is empty and superficial because they too are only mortals whose love can and will be taken away someday.
So this failure to recognize the intelligence behind our creation is a critical failure. It keeps us trapped in a perpetual state of fear. And even worse is our attempts to substitute direct knowledge of that intelligence with the rationalized constructs of our own mind. We create false images of the intelligence that created us, and then invest tremendous amounts of time and energy into substantiating our false beliefs. This is the phenomena we call religion.
If there were a true religion, then it would not need to be promoted, defended, or even defined. It would exist regardless of human endeavors. I believe such a religion does exist, only I hesitate to apply the word “religion”, or even the term “true religion”, because then it would become too easily confused with all the other false religions that use the same term (all of them do, by implication at least).
If I could, I would define religion as the open acknowledgement of devine intelligence. By this definition then all religions are accommodated, both the one true religion (as yet undefined) and the many false ones. All religions openly acknowledge higher intelligence, though they typically go on to embellish their image of that intelligence with all sorts of human attributes and qualities. A true religion would, of course, not use such embellishments, either directly or by implication. So maybe we'd be better off to refer to it as “pure religion” rather than “true”. This at least would acknowledge the fact that all false religions have a true element at their heart. This also allows us to recognize the validity and value of false or “embellished” beliefs.
This concept is not very unlike the core principles of catholicism. They seem to believe (as I understand) that all the rituals and symbols that comprise the external church are really only humanized verisons of a much purer and truer inner church that is the charge of all Christians (Catholics) to cherish and to protect. But I believe even Catholicism fails in its mission to preserve the “true faith”, as evidenced by all the atrocities it has committed. No true religion would ever feel so compelled to establish itself in the world of men.
True religion is not only already established in our world, it is the very foundation of it! A worshipper of such a religion would know this and without fear wait patiently for his church to arise. Not only that, but he would know, by virtue of every breath he takes, that he is loved and cherished by the entire universe as well. Such a man would not seek out human love and companionship. He would not have to, for he would be loved by all seekers of the truth, who would see him in in its light. Yet, at the same time, he would be despised by those whose faces are yet turned away from the truth, for to them the truth is an ugly and sinister thing, and so anyone bathed in its light will appear ugly and sinister to them. Such was the fate of Jesus and it is why even he predicted a similar fate for all followers of the true religion.
So this failure to recognize the intelligence behind our creation is a critical failure. It keeps us trapped in a perpetual state of fear. And even worse is our attempts to substitute direct knowledge of that intelligence with the rationalized constructs of our own mind. We create false images of the intelligence that created us, and then invest tremendous amounts of time and energy into substantiating our false beliefs. This is the phenomena we call religion.
If there were a true religion, then it would not need to be promoted, defended, or even defined. It would exist regardless of human endeavors. I believe such a religion does exist, only I hesitate to apply the word “religion”, or even the term “true religion”, because then it would become too easily confused with all the other false religions that use the same term (all of them do, by implication at least).
If I could, I would define religion as the open acknowledgement of devine intelligence. By this definition then all religions are accommodated, both the one true religion (as yet undefined) and the many false ones. All religions openly acknowledge higher intelligence, though they typically go on to embellish their image of that intelligence with all sorts of human attributes and qualities. A true religion would, of course, not use such embellishments, either directly or by implication. So maybe we'd be better off to refer to it as “pure religion” rather than “true”. This at least would acknowledge the fact that all false religions have a true element at their heart. This also allows us to recognize the validity and value of false or “embellished” beliefs.
This concept is not very unlike the core principles of catholicism. They seem to believe (as I understand) that all the rituals and symbols that comprise the external church are really only humanized verisons of a much purer and truer inner church that is the charge of all Christians (Catholics) to cherish and to protect. But I believe even Catholicism fails in its mission to preserve the “true faith”, as evidenced by all the atrocities it has committed. No true religion would ever feel so compelled to establish itself in the world of men.
True religion is not only already established in our world, it is the very foundation of it! A worshipper of such a religion would know this and without fear wait patiently for his church to arise. Not only that, but he would know, by virtue of every breath he takes, that he is loved and cherished by the entire universe as well. Such a man would not seek out human love and companionship. He would not have to, for he would be loved by all seekers of the truth, who would see him in in its light. Yet, at the same time, he would be despised by those whose faces are yet turned away from the truth, for to them the truth is an ugly and sinister thing, and so anyone bathed in its light will appear ugly and sinister to them. Such was the fate of Jesus and it is why even he predicted a similar fate for all followers of the true religion.
There Are No Cruel People
I don't believe in cruelty. I believe there are people who do cruel things, but not because they are cruel, only because they are confused.
I believe that cruelty is a human invention, not a human trait. Even though we observe what appears to be cruelty in very young children, if we look more carefully we will see that the behavior they exhibit is really no more than raw survival impulses that have not yet been honed by social instinct. To punish them for being “cruel” is how cruelty itself is instilled.
The parent who punishes such behavior is the one who is really being cruel. A more responsible and loving parent, who has faith in their own child's development, will see the behavior for the aberration it is. And rather than responding out of fear that there is something “wrong” or even “evil” with their child, they will instinctively either ignore the behavior (which is usually, but not always, the best thing to do the first time or two that it is displayed), or they will take some “corrective” action other than punishment, such as distracting the child from the negative “cruel” behavior, by giving them a hug for some other positive “kind” behavior, helping to hone the child's rough edges rather than agitating them with punishment, which only teaches the child to avoid the parent (i.e. authority) not the behavior. Punishment often even makes the “cruel” behavior seem appropriate to the child. After all, the punishment itself is no more than a demonstration of the “cruel” behavior it is supposed to avert!
And when you extend this understanding of how children are taught to be cruel by fearful parents to the way a fearful society teaches its citizens to be cruel with a “punishment” based justice system – a system that demonstrates cruel behavior and calls it “justice” - then we might start to understand how we bring crime upon ourselves.
“All Penal Laws court Transgression & therefore are cruelty & murder...” - William Blake (1757-1827), English poet
“Cruelty is a tyrant, that is always attended with Fear.” - Thomas Fuller (1654-1734), English cleric
“I was trying to punish society... I wanted justice for what happened to me (in prison)...” - Joseph E. Duncan III (b. 1963), American “Serial Killer” statement to the court (September 2008)
I believe that cruelty is a human invention, not a human trait. Even though we observe what appears to be cruelty in very young children, if we look more carefully we will see that the behavior they exhibit is really no more than raw survival impulses that have not yet been honed by social instinct. To punish them for being “cruel” is how cruelty itself is instilled.
The parent who punishes such behavior is the one who is really being cruel. A more responsible and loving parent, who has faith in their own child's development, will see the behavior for the aberration it is. And rather than responding out of fear that there is something “wrong” or even “evil” with their child, they will instinctively either ignore the behavior (which is usually, but not always, the best thing to do the first time or two that it is displayed), or they will take some “corrective” action other than punishment, such as distracting the child from the negative “cruel” behavior, by giving them a hug for some other positive “kind” behavior, helping to hone the child's rough edges rather than agitating them with punishment, which only teaches the child to avoid the parent (i.e. authority) not the behavior. Punishment often even makes the “cruel” behavior seem appropriate to the child. After all, the punishment itself is no more than a demonstration of the “cruel” behavior it is supposed to avert!
And when you extend this understanding of how children are taught to be cruel by fearful parents to the way a fearful society teaches its citizens to be cruel with a “punishment” based justice system – a system that demonstrates cruel behavior and calls it “justice” - then we might start to understand how we bring crime upon ourselves.
“All Penal Laws court Transgression & therefore are cruelty & murder...” - William Blake (1757-1827), English poet
“Cruelty is a tyrant, that is always attended with Fear.” - Thomas Fuller (1654-1734), English cleric
“I was trying to punish society... I wanted justice for what happened to me (in prison)...” - Joseph E. Duncan III (b. 1963), American “Serial Killer” statement to the court (September 2008)
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Crime Isn't The Problem
Crime is a symptom, not a problem. This would be an obvious truth if it weren't for the tens of millions of people who have invested their lives in the “blood letting” of society. Like the so-called healers of old, they have a vested interested in keeping people ignorant of the truth and an even stronger reason for lying to themselves. If the truth were generally known, that all their efforts are all for show, and any effects they have are purely incidental, then they would be exposed for the charlatans they are. And even worse, for exacerbating the problem while pretending to cure the symptom!
The problem is age old, but that does not mean it cannot be solved. The solution is as old as the problem itself, and every great book of truth has expounded on the solution, from the Holy Bible to the Buddhist sutras, for thousands of years.
I myself have been writing about it non-stop since I stopped killing and turned myself in. This blog is centered around it. And life itself proclaimes it loudly, for those prepared to hear.
The problem is fear, the solution is faith.
The problem is isolation from the source of our existence (which begets fear), and the solution is returning to the source (which requires faith alone).
You don't need to believe in God, or Buddha, or even science to realize this truth. You have only to be honest, with yourself. The more honest you are, the more self evident this truth will be, and the less fear you will have, and the less suffering you will bring into the world.
But being honest with yourself is the hardest thing you will ever do. If it is not hard for you to be honest, then you are either still deceived – and bringing suffering into the world, even if you yourself do not realize it – or, you are an enlightened being, at one with the source of all things. Which is to say, that becoming honest is the hardest thing you will ever do, but being honest is the easiest! Or, as I've written before, the “easy yoke to bear”, is the hardest one to don.
Any observer can note that our present social system, especially the so-called “Justice System”, does everything it can to support and promote the illusion of isolation from the source of our being. It fosters and advocates an “Us-Them” mentality that denies the oneness and unity of all things.
It is easier to pretend we are better than someone else, and blame “them” for our problems (our suffering) than to take responsibility for our own actions – which is the only real “authority” anyone has! When a man robs or assaults another man, the present social system literally demands that the “victim” report the “crime” and cooperate with the “authorities” in the “persuit of justice”. But no one ever expects the “victim” to take responsibility for the “crime”, perhaps by admitting that he should not have been flaunting his gold jewelery in front of young drug addicts (and what was he doing with gold jewelery in the first place, while there are starving people in the world he could have given a job to instead of buying “shiny metal” status symbols to wear?).
It was easier for me to accuse the police of being self-righteous cowards that ignorantly drove me to commit my crimes, than for me to admit that I need the police (as human beings) and that I myself was responsible for their self-righteous attitudes by acting so cowardly myself by attacking children in order to hurt “Them”.
That is until I saw through the eyes of my last intended victim that she was me, and they were too! I saw this truth as plainly as I saw her. Even now it is hard for me to fathom how I had been so blind! But, the reason for my blindness is just as plain at the same time; Fear.
I was terrified because I believed the system's lies; that I was alone in the world, and would die alone, and forever. But when I finally saw the Truth – the same Truth that all the ancients talk about, and that modern science even confirms – that I was not alone, and that I would never die! Then I no longer had a reason to hurt “them”, because I knew that they were me! And crime, for me at least, lost it's meaning.
“The intellectual who no longer feels attached to anything is not satisfied with opinions merely; he wants certainty, he wants a system.”
“...Whether it wants to or not, the (System) consodilates and establishes injustice. It helps men to forget their ills instead of curing them.” - Raymond Aron, French political philosopher
“We would rather be ruined than changed; We would rather die in our dread; Than climb the cross of the moment; And let our illusions die.” - W. H. Auden (1907-1973) American poet
“There is no such thing as the State, And no one exists alone; Hunger allows no choice, To the citizen or the police; We must love one another or die.” - W. H. Auden
The problem is age old, but that does not mean it cannot be solved. The solution is as old as the problem itself, and every great book of truth has expounded on the solution, from the Holy Bible to the Buddhist sutras, for thousands of years.
I myself have been writing about it non-stop since I stopped killing and turned myself in. This blog is centered around it. And life itself proclaimes it loudly, for those prepared to hear.
The problem is fear, the solution is faith.
The problem is isolation from the source of our existence (which begets fear), and the solution is returning to the source (which requires faith alone).
You don't need to believe in God, or Buddha, or even science to realize this truth. You have only to be honest, with yourself. The more honest you are, the more self evident this truth will be, and the less fear you will have, and the less suffering you will bring into the world.
But being honest with yourself is the hardest thing you will ever do. If it is not hard for you to be honest, then you are either still deceived – and bringing suffering into the world, even if you yourself do not realize it – or, you are an enlightened being, at one with the source of all things. Which is to say, that becoming honest is the hardest thing you will ever do, but being honest is the easiest! Or, as I've written before, the “easy yoke to bear”, is the hardest one to don.
Any observer can note that our present social system, especially the so-called “Justice System”, does everything it can to support and promote the illusion of isolation from the source of our being. It fosters and advocates an “Us-Them” mentality that denies the oneness and unity of all things.
It is easier to pretend we are better than someone else, and blame “them” for our problems (our suffering) than to take responsibility for our own actions – which is the only real “authority” anyone has! When a man robs or assaults another man, the present social system literally demands that the “victim” report the “crime” and cooperate with the “authorities” in the “persuit of justice”. But no one ever expects the “victim” to take responsibility for the “crime”, perhaps by admitting that he should not have been flaunting his gold jewelery in front of young drug addicts (and what was he doing with gold jewelery in the first place, while there are starving people in the world he could have given a job to instead of buying “shiny metal” status symbols to wear?).
It was easier for me to accuse the police of being self-righteous cowards that ignorantly drove me to commit my crimes, than for me to admit that I need the police (as human beings) and that I myself was responsible for their self-righteous attitudes by acting so cowardly myself by attacking children in order to hurt “Them”.
That is until I saw through the eyes of my last intended victim that she was me, and they were too! I saw this truth as plainly as I saw her. Even now it is hard for me to fathom how I had been so blind! But, the reason for my blindness is just as plain at the same time; Fear.
I was terrified because I believed the system's lies; that I was alone in the world, and would die alone, and forever. But when I finally saw the Truth – the same Truth that all the ancients talk about, and that modern science even confirms – that I was not alone, and that I would never die! Then I no longer had a reason to hurt “them”, because I knew that they were me! And crime, for me at least, lost it's meaning.
“The intellectual who no longer feels attached to anything is not satisfied with opinions merely; he wants certainty, he wants a system.”
“...Whether it wants to or not, the (System) consodilates and establishes injustice. It helps men to forget their ills instead of curing them.” - Raymond Aron, French political philosopher
“We would rather be ruined than changed; We would rather die in our dread; Than climb the cross of the moment; And let our illusions die.” - W. H. Auden (1907-1973) American poet
“There is no such thing as the State, And no one exists alone; Hunger allows no choice, To the citizen or the police; We must love one another or die.” - W. H. Auden
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Who I Am
My mantra: The greatest enemy of knowledge is the presumption of knowledge.
My motto: The only thing I know for sure, is that I know nothing for sure; except, I am.
My greatest hope: To know who I am.
My greatest fear: To know who I am.
My greatest accomplishment: Embracing my greatest failure.
My greatest failure: Not knowing who I am.
My current theological bent: Gnosticism (True and direct knowledge of ”God”, and/or the source of our existence, is attainable through honest introspection, and is reflected in all external experiences)
My former theological bent: Agnosticism (Experience is all there is, and the source of experience, a.k.a. “God”, is unknowable)
My current practice: Self sacrifice without self debasement.
My former practice: Self debasement without self sacrifice.
My current occupation: Seeker, student, fool (in that order)
My former occupation: Fool, student, seeker (in that order)
My greatest personal asset: An open heart.
My greatest personal handicap: A broken heart.
My favorite animal: Domesticated cats.
My least favorite animal: Domesticated humans.
My current life goal: To remember who I am.
My former life goal: I forgot.
My motto: The only thing I know for sure, is that I know nothing for sure; except, I am.
My greatest hope: To know who I am.
My greatest fear: To know who I am.
My greatest accomplishment: Embracing my greatest failure.
My greatest failure: Not knowing who I am.
My current theological bent: Gnosticism (True and direct knowledge of ”God”, and/or the source of our existence, is attainable through honest introspection, and is reflected in all external experiences)
My former theological bent: Agnosticism (Experience is all there is, and the source of experience, a.k.a. “God”, is unknowable)
My current practice: Self sacrifice without self debasement.
My former practice: Self debasement without self sacrifice.
My current occupation: Seeker, student, fool (in that order)
My former occupation: Fool, student, seeker (in that order)
My greatest personal asset: An open heart.
My greatest personal handicap: A broken heart.
My favorite animal: Domesticated cats.
My least favorite animal: Domesticated humans.
My current life goal: To remember who I am.
My former life goal: I forgot.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Baal's Hypocrisy
If it is no excuse for a man to abuse children because he was abused, or to rape because he was raped, then why is it okay for society to kill him because he killed?
Randon Choices Make Us God
I read in a book on the science of chaos once, about a popular novelty random-motion desk sculpture that has three steel balls attached to stiff wires that are driven to rotate chaotically around each other by a magnet in the base of the sculpture. The book explained that a little simple math (relatively speaking) indicates that the motion of the steel balls can be completely altered in as few as 20 cycles, by the gravitational pull of a building five blocks away.
That means, if it were possible to create two machines that were identical all the way down to the quantum level, and set them in motion with the exact same force, even inside a vacuum, the mere fact that they occupied different positions in space, even if only a few inches, would cause them to lose synchronization within 20 or so cycles andstart rotating in completely independent chaotic patterns with no discernable relationship to each other's movement.
Within 40 to 100 cycles, the gravitational pull of a building sized object on Jupiter would have the same effect. And within, say, 1.000 to 10.000 cycles, such an object orbitting the nearest star (about three light-years away) would also cause our matched machines to “forget” their common origin (assuming of course that nothing else in the universe changed during those 1000 or so cycles).
With a little extrapolation it becomes clear that our machines could not remain in synch for more than a few years if nothing else changed in the entire universe, except the existence of a single molecule in a galaxy far-far away!
If that single molecule, billions of light-years from here, has the ability to alter the course of motion in our random-motion machine here on Earth (and every molecule in the universe has this ability to influence what happens), then it also has the ability to change the entire course of history on this planet, in much less than a few years!
What's my point? Is this just a novel but meaningless mental exercise? I think not. In fact, everything I think is also effected by that distant molecule. And that brings me to my point.
If any molecule in the universe can change what “random” thought I may be having two or three years from now, then how can we say that I have volition of thought (much less “free will”)?
Of course the first, and most obvious, response to that question is that, “the motion of the machine may change, but the machine itself does not change. It still behaves according to its own nature”.
But what determines the “nature” of the machine? Wasn't it “designed” by mere thought? So, this response to my question fails when you consider that the machine's very existence, and its “nature”, are determined by all those distant (and near) molecules in the first place. My question stands; where is our free will?
Actually, there is a solution to this puzzle, but not one that most people can accept (at least not yet). The answer, assuming we do in fact have “free will” (which we must, or all is lost!), and the only answer, is that we, in determining what we do and think, also determine the existence and state (location and motion in space and time) of EVERY SINGLE MOLECULE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FROM THE BEGINNING AND TO THE END OF TIME! There is no other solution.
Hense, we are God, or we are nothing!
That means, if it were possible to create two machines that were identical all the way down to the quantum level, and set them in motion with the exact same force, even inside a vacuum, the mere fact that they occupied different positions in space, even if only a few inches, would cause them to lose synchronization within 20 or so cycles andstart rotating in completely independent chaotic patterns with no discernable relationship to each other's movement.
Within 40 to 100 cycles, the gravitational pull of a building sized object on Jupiter would have the same effect. And within, say, 1.000 to 10.000 cycles, such an object orbitting the nearest star (about three light-years away) would also cause our matched machines to “forget” their common origin (assuming of course that nothing else in the universe changed during those 1000 or so cycles).
With a little extrapolation it becomes clear that our machines could not remain in synch for more than a few years if nothing else changed in the entire universe, except the existence of a single molecule in a galaxy far-far away!
If that single molecule, billions of light-years from here, has the ability to alter the course of motion in our random-motion machine here on Earth (and every molecule in the universe has this ability to influence what happens), then it also has the ability to change the entire course of history on this planet, in much less than a few years!
What's my point? Is this just a novel but meaningless mental exercise? I think not. In fact, everything I think is also effected by that distant molecule. And that brings me to my point.
If any molecule in the universe can change what “random” thought I may be having two or three years from now, then how can we say that I have volition of thought (much less “free will”)?
Of course the first, and most obvious, response to that question is that, “the motion of the machine may change, but the machine itself does not change. It still behaves according to its own nature”.
But what determines the “nature” of the machine? Wasn't it “designed” by mere thought? So, this response to my question fails when you consider that the machine's very existence, and its “nature”, are determined by all those distant (and near) molecules in the first place. My question stands; where is our free will?
Actually, there is a solution to this puzzle, but not one that most people can accept (at least not yet). The answer, assuming we do in fact have “free will” (which we must, or all is lost!), and the only answer, is that we, in determining what we do and think, also determine the existence and state (location and motion in space and time) of EVERY SINGLE MOLECULE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FROM THE BEGINNING AND TO THE END OF TIME! There is no other solution.
Hense, we are God, or we are nothing!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Unconscious Realms of Consciousness
If you are conscious, then even when you “empty your mind”, your mind is infinitely far from being empty! The empty mind is merely the un-focusing of attention. Or, put another way, it is consciousness focussed on itself. In this state you have the ability to explore consciousness.
By “explore” I mean that you can effectively move about within the world of the “unconscious”, which is in fact an infinite world (as anyone who has ever achieved this level of consciousness well knows!), but that does not mean that it is without structure or laws.
In fact, the laws of the unconscious mind are the only true laws in nature! The first and most important law, for example, is “Do not be ignorant!” (Of course that is only one way to state the law in limited human terms. Another way to say this same thing is, “Love God!” And/or, “Love thy neighbor as thyself!” Which all mean the same thing.) Because this is an absolute law, it cannot be broken, but it is possible to exist in a self imposed state of ignorance (and fear, which is, to “hate God”) but this is purely illusory and has no basis in the conscious or unconscious universe.
I should explain what I mean by “no basis” just to be clear: Ignorance (and fear, which is inextricably intertwined with ignorance) is no more than a substanceless shadow. It can only be perceived at all in the same way we perceive shadows, not by what is there, but by what is NOT there! So, in the same sense that shadows don't exist, so ignorance (and fear, and hate, and “evil”) has no “basis in consciousness”. That does not mean it is unreal, or cannot cause real harm. Just as a shadow can weaken or even kill a plant (by depriving it of sunlight), so ignorance can weaken and even “kill” (destroy) a human “soul”! But also realize that as long as a plant is not kept in the shadow all the time, most can survive and even thrive on very little sunlight. And so it is in the realms of consciousness.
“Light” in the realms of consciousness is “Love” and “Understanding” (which are the same thing). The “physical” world only exists by virtue of mutual ignorance that causes “fixed illusions”, that we all share. Modern science has been studying the edges of this illusion since the beginning of the last century. Quantum physics has clearly established the link between consciousness and the “physical world” for some time now (though few scientists will even admit to themselves what the data from their experiments shows; that we don't even exist! Or, to put it another way, we only exist as “conscious energy” or “thoughts”.
So, a person with a truly “empty mind” is one who has lifted the veil, and sees consciousness for what it is; the source of everything we call “the universe” or “reality”. In such a state of understanding (i.e. Love) this person can move about to any point in space and time of the physical world, but not just space and time, to any point in consciousness itself! That is why such a person cannot easily relate their freedom of movement (a.k.a. freedom of choice, though “movement” in a much better term, it still does not fully express the actuality) into human terms. This is what it means to “know the will of God”. It is to know your own true will! (If you think you already know your own will, then think again! Who decided when you would be conceived? You did! And when you truly realize this – by “visiting” that point in consciousness! - then you will understand what I mean!).
So the next time you meditate – and if you don't meditate then why are you wasting your time by reading this! - try to realize the freedom you have, by letting go of your physical mind (your thoughts and perceptions) and “moving” into the unconscious realms of consciousness, and “see” what you find!
P.S. By “meditation” I do not necessarily mean anything as formal as Zazen (but anyone who practices Zazen regularily will easily follow what I am saying – though they'd probably disagree on a few technicalities). All I mean, is simply the practice of “emptying the mind”, or just “quieting the mind”. Most people meditate without even realizing it when they engage in some kind of “relaxing” activity, such as running, or working on a stamp collection, or such. As long as you suspend your thoughts long enough to become aware of consciousness itself, sometimes perceived as “existence” - so if you do something that makes you “feel real” then you are probably meditating.
By “explore” I mean that you can effectively move about within the world of the “unconscious”, which is in fact an infinite world (as anyone who has ever achieved this level of consciousness well knows!), but that does not mean that it is without structure or laws.
In fact, the laws of the unconscious mind are the only true laws in nature! The first and most important law, for example, is “Do not be ignorant!” (Of course that is only one way to state the law in limited human terms. Another way to say this same thing is, “Love God!” And/or, “Love thy neighbor as thyself!” Which all mean the same thing.) Because this is an absolute law, it cannot be broken, but it is possible to exist in a self imposed state of ignorance (and fear, which is, to “hate God”) but this is purely illusory and has no basis in the conscious or unconscious universe.
I should explain what I mean by “no basis” just to be clear: Ignorance (and fear, which is inextricably intertwined with ignorance) is no more than a substanceless shadow. It can only be perceived at all in the same way we perceive shadows, not by what is there, but by what is NOT there! So, in the same sense that shadows don't exist, so ignorance (and fear, and hate, and “evil”) has no “basis in consciousness”. That does not mean it is unreal, or cannot cause real harm. Just as a shadow can weaken or even kill a plant (by depriving it of sunlight), so ignorance can weaken and even “kill” (destroy) a human “soul”! But also realize that as long as a plant is not kept in the shadow all the time, most can survive and even thrive on very little sunlight. And so it is in the realms of consciousness.
“Light” in the realms of consciousness is “Love” and “Understanding” (which are the same thing). The “physical” world only exists by virtue of mutual ignorance that causes “fixed illusions”, that we all share. Modern science has been studying the edges of this illusion since the beginning of the last century. Quantum physics has clearly established the link between consciousness and the “physical world” for some time now (though few scientists will even admit to themselves what the data from their experiments shows; that we don't even exist! Or, to put it another way, we only exist as “conscious energy” or “thoughts”.
So, a person with a truly “empty mind” is one who has lifted the veil, and sees consciousness for what it is; the source of everything we call “the universe” or “reality”. In such a state of understanding (i.e. Love) this person can move about to any point in space and time of the physical world, but not just space and time, to any point in consciousness itself! That is why such a person cannot easily relate their freedom of movement (a.k.a. freedom of choice, though “movement” in a much better term, it still does not fully express the actuality) into human terms. This is what it means to “know the will of God”. It is to know your own true will! (If you think you already know your own will, then think again! Who decided when you would be conceived? You did! And when you truly realize this – by “visiting” that point in consciousness! - then you will understand what I mean!).
So the next time you meditate – and if you don't meditate then why are you wasting your time by reading this! - try to realize the freedom you have, by letting go of your physical mind (your thoughts and perceptions) and “moving” into the unconscious realms of consciousness, and “see” what you find!
P.S. By “meditation” I do not necessarily mean anything as formal as Zazen (but anyone who practices Zazen regularily will easily follow what I am saying – though they'd probably disagree on a few technicalities). All I mean, is simply the practice of “emptying the mind”, or just “quieting the mind”. Most people meditate without even realizing it when they engage in some kind of “relaxing” activity, such as running, or working on a stamp collection, or such. As long as you suspend your thoughts long enough to become aware of consciousness itself, sometimes perceived as “existence” - so if you do something that makes you “feel real” then you are probably meditating.
Fantasies of Nature and Nurture
When I fantasize, I often let my fantasies “run free”. “Run free” is the only term I can think of to describe what actually happens. My fantasies seem to take on a life all their own that frequently leaves me pondering their intentions, which regularly seem to contradict my own.
I don't think letting them run free is irresponsible in and of itself, so long as they are confined to my own experience and not imposed upon others (i.e. acted out). In fact, I often think that I learn things from my fantasies, about myself, and about sexual instinct in general.
For example, when I was living as a female in prison, I was taken by surprize once by a fantasy that imagined I could become pregnant. This seemed as unsexy as anything to my mind (I had no psychological association that I was aware of that connected “getting pregnant” to the sexual pleasure of letting a man make love to me anally), and yet when the fantasy came to mind (while I was being made love to by a caring man) my arousal level unexpectedly skyrocketted! Suddenly I wanted to passionately whisper to the man who was inside my body, “Yes! Yes! Give me your babies!”
Was this mere perversion? Or, was it some sort of instinctual response to sex that lives inside all of us, not just “Jennies” (genetic females). Well, judging by the unexpected intensity that the mere idea of being made pregnant by a man I cared deeply for (and hense, wanted to “keep” him in my life) caused me to feel, I'd say it was something that came from nature, not nurture at all.
There are many other things I have learned about myself mostly, but also about being human in general, by letting my fantasies “run free”, and just paying close attention to what they do.
I don't think letting them run free is irresponsible in and of itself, so long as they are confined to my own experience and not imposed upon others (i.e. acted out). In fact, I often think that I learn things from my fantasies, about myself, and about sexual instinct in general.
For example, when I was living as a female in prison, I was taken by surprize once by a fantasy that imagined I could become pregnant. This seemed as unsexy as anything to my mind (I had no psychological association that I was aware of that connected “getting pregnant” to the sexual pleasure of letting a man make love to me anally), and yet when the fantasy came to mind (while I was being made love to by a caring man) my arousal level unexpectedly skyrocketted! Suddenly I wanted to passionately whisper to the man who was inside my body, “Yes! Yes! Give me your babies!”
Was this mere perversion? Or, was it some sort of instinctual response to sex that lives inside all of us, not just “Jennies” (genetic females). Well, judging by the unexpected intensity that the mere idea of being made pregnant by a man I cared deeply for (and hense, wanted to “keep” him in my life) caused me to feel, I'd say it was something that came from nature, not nurture at all.
There are many other things I have learned about myself mostly, but also about being human in general, by letting my fantasies “run free”, and just paying close attention to what they do.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Gnostic Breath
The gnostic appreciates knowledge in much the same way that an artist appreciates beauty. The appreciation cannot be taught, but it can be learned by anyone interested enough to enjoy the benefits. And as an artist portrays beauty through his medium as an expression of his own experience, so the gnostic might express his own experience of knowledge through words. But, words are not the only means that a gnostic will use to express his experience. A true gnostic expresses his experience of knowledge with every breath, and every action he takes. He cannot help but do so.
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