Life vs. Death

What is life in prison without the possibility of parole? That is a very subjective question. To some, it is a life worth living, restricted, but a life nonetheless. To others it is not life at all, it is no more than a living nightmare of deprivation, worse than death.
I belong to this later group. I say, “Give me liberty, or give me death!”. And I mean it. But I don't mean, as the original author of that statement, that I would rather fight to the death than be enslaved for life. I simply mean that I would rather be murdered by sanction of the state than live out my natural years in a modern penal institution.
And, it's not because of the restrictions that such a life would entail. It is not because of the lost so-called privileges of a free citizen. It's not because I wouldn't be able to have, or do, certain things. I could (and for many years have) live easily without such “freedoms”. But what I find it difficult and even excruciatingly painful to live without is intimate contact with someone I care deeply about.
It does not need to be a lover, just a brother, a sister, or mom, or dad, or even a good friend. And by intimate contact I don't mean sex, or even physical contact at all. I just mean regular interaction, such that that person shapes my thoughts (and behavior) every day. Such contact would free me from my “sickness” (this is a part of what I began to realize just before I surrendered to the present authorities of this world), and it would give me a chance at self-actualization.
Without someone to love, and to love me, in my life, I have no chance of ever coming to know my purpose. Without that chance, that hope, I would rather die. Not because I give up on life, but so I can move on with it! Maybe in my “next life”, in this world or some other, I will be able to appreciate what I gave up so much to learn in this world; that without love, there is nothing. Without forgiveness, there is only insanity.

PS: I realize, of course, that a “self-actualized” person would be able to love everyone. But, I also realize that we need someone to love to help us become self-actualized.