Fear No Evil

If I were afraid of death I would not have been able to bring that little girl home and turn myself over to the present authorities. In fact, you could say that it was the fear of death that I overcame which allowed me to do what I wanted to do in my heart all along (stop killing). It amazes me that people do not understand that threatening someone with death only alienates them and makes them that much more likely to try to hurt someone. But I suppose I should not be too amazed, since I also once rationalized my own fantasies of how people would react to my threats, by thinking that they would regret what they did to me. Of course, now I realize that no one regrets my having been sent to prison as a kid for 15 years, to be raped and perverted by the System. And, even those who realize that what happened to me was wrong don't seem to realize that they were the ones who did it to me (or, more precisely, the attitudes and beliefs that allowed me to be crucified as a child). I too once could not see my ignorance. And now that I have had my false beliefs illuminated for what they are, I do not suddenly believe that I know the truth. Instead, I realize that I know nothing! How could I possibly trust my own knowledge ever again after learning that my most basic lifelong beliefs were all lies! I can't. But, at least I'm not afraid of death any more. Nor am I afraid of being deceived, because I realize now that as long as I do not believe that what I think is true, then I cannot be deceived. I suspect this is what Jesus meant by “believe in me”. He was simply trying to tell us to believe what is in our heart, not our mind. If you believe that Jesus was a Man/God that lived 2000 years ago, then you believe what you have been told by other men. These things exist only in your mind. But if you believe that it does not matter whether a man called Jesus of Nazareth ever walked the earth at all, but that His “teachings” are still important and useful for guidance and instruction, then perhaps you will be saved yet.