The Right To Be Wrong

I have said that it was the realization that what I was doing was NOT wrong that caused me to stop killing and turn myself in. But this is not entirely true, or at least, it gives an impression that is not entirely true. So, let me contradict myself a bit, so I can make myself a little more clear. What I should have said was that I realized that what I was doing (i.e. raping and murdering children) was not wrong IN THE WAY THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS WRONG at the time. But it certainly was wrong in another way that I previously did not suspect, and I “realized” this at the same time as well. It was not wrong because it was perverse, or unnatural, or morally corrupt. I needed it to be wrong in those ways in order to justify what I was doing. Only if what I was doing was an affront to “human decency” would my actions deliver the blow they were intended to deliver to the heart of The Beast that I thought was my mortal enemy. I needed my crimes to be socially condemned in order for them to be justified. I realize that the concept that social condemnation directly attributes to anti-social behavior is a difficult one for most people to grasp. So, I won't even try to expound on it here, since others far more astute than I have already done so many times in numerous books. But, the converse realization. That what I was doing WAS wrong in another unexpected way, is much simpler to express. I realized that I had no right to impose my beliefs (or my “trip” as Timothy Leary would say) onto other people! This is such a simple and basic truth that it seems so completely obvious once you realize it. And yet it is also the easiest truth to rationalize away, as most of us do, one way or another. So, that's what I realized was “wrong” about what I was doing. But, I should note that nothing is ever “wrong” in any absolute sense. I realize now that it is only possible for me to know what is “wrong” for me, and me alone. That is why the above realization - that I must not impose my “trip” on others - is so important. Because I cannot possibly know what is “wrong” for someone else. But, that's essentially just saying the same thing; we all have the right to be wrong ourselves, but not the right (or ability) to judge wrong in others.