Duncan did what he did, the rape and murder of five children plus the murder of two adults and a teen who were "in his way", because he condemned society for condemning him to 20 years in prison (which he served entirely) all because he made a boy two years younger than himself when he was 16 suck his dick at gun-point. And now society condemns Duncan to death, three times no less. And so the age-old cycle of condemnation continues. And if you are so ignorant to think, as the System would have you think, that the condemnation --- and the cycle of crime that goes hand-in-hand with it --- will be finalized upon Duncan's death at the hands of the state (and in the name of society) then you clearly have not thought about what is going on directly in front of your eyes, and you have no doubt chosen to let the System tell you instead what it wants you to think: that "justice is being served".
Of course those who see and think for themselves will realize there is no so-called justice in nature, at least nothing resembling justice as the "law" and present authorities of this world define it. You see instead that what is really happening is no more than the continuation of the cycle of condemnation that leads directly to more crime, more child rape, and more murder; all so the System can continue to perpetuate its own authority and existence.
All this is well-known, of course (to those who choose to see and think for themselves). It has been written about, and documented; even studied and "proven" to be the case, all while the "blind sheep" still refuse to see only what they are told to see, and think only what they are told to think. They think that the "message" that gets sent to others like Duncan who have not yet been caught is, "Stop! Or you will be condemned like him!" But the real message that gets sent is, "No matter what you do, you will be condemned!"
This is the message, the only message, that a system without real power and natural authority can send. It is not the message "they" claim, and it will never be. By condemning Duncan, those who support the System and believe its lies only condemn themselves, and their children, to more death and more crime. Duncan himself has offered proof of this. When he was in prison still, for doing only what had been done to him (i.e. forcing a younger child to have sex with him) as he had learned, a "child killer" was executed at the very prison where Duncan was incarcerated (Walla Walla State Penitentiary). The "message" that Duncan received was loud and clear to him, as he himself has stated many times. The "message" that rang in Duncan's mind was that no matter what he did after he got out of prison, he would be condemned in one way or another. And to Duncan, as with most previously "condemned" criminals, death was preferable to such perpetual condemnation, isolation, and rejection.
And to anyone who prefers death over the life that the System offers, the System itself becomes the "enemy", an "evil monster" that threatens and destroys everything worth living for. And so to this person hurting the System is not just justified, it is "justice", as defined by the System itself (i.e. "punishment" and "retribution").
It this becomes clear, to the independent thinker, that condemnation --- any condemnation --- is its own punishment. By condemning anyone we only condemn ourselves. This is ancient wisdom that can be found explicitly written in all great books of wisdom throughout history, from the most ancient religious scriptures to the most contemporary and modern philosophical treatise. And yet the vast majority of people in our world continue to let those in power convince them that the exact opposite is true, that condemnation (i.e. punishment and retribution) is the path to peace, prosperity, and so-called "justice". Of course it is really only a circular path, in fact a spiraling path of destruction, pain, and suffering... as all the ancient texts tell us, not to mention common sense, if we just listen to it instead of "them".
There is a way out, one that is also well documented throughout history and proven through modern study. I call it "True Forgiveness" (as opposed to "Christian forgiveness", which has perverted the ancient scriptures it claims to be based on and turned the concept of "forgiveness" into just another form of judgment and condemnation, as has been explained elsewhere in this blog many times). True Forgiveness doesn't judge (it is the absence of judgment) and therefore cannot condemn. True Forgiveness breaks the cycle of condemnation exactly as Duncan did when he Forgave society, and returned wit the last child he had intended to kill, and surrendered himself to the very social system he once condemned. He has striven ever since to be no more than a witness of the truth (what he has called, "The Living Truth"), as this very blog testifies. He no longer judges those who judge him, nor condemns those who condemn. He merely observes how they condemn themselves, which he intimately understands as he himself once condemned himself and still suffers the consequences.
He now accepts the consequences of the condemnation he once imposed and believed he was entitled to. And in fact, by the very social standards that were once used to judge and condemn him as a child (teenager), he WAS entitled. Duncan "deserved" so-called "justice" as much as any so-called "victim", just as nearly all so-called "criminals" so notoriously claim.
But, Duncan found a way out. He discovered within himself the true meaning of forgiveness. Not as a word, but a concept that has been described with many words and in many languages in nearly all cultures, and then entombed within religious texts and dogma by those who realize its power, but not its meaning. They seek to exploit the power of forgiveness, and the power of God (the unified source of everything that is), by making themselves "guardians" and "watchers" of a truth that needs neither. They convince themselves that they serve God, and hence the Truth, by inventing lies and stories, and reasons to condemn in His (or Her) "Holy Name".
But the last thing the Truth needs is a lie to defend it. The only thing the Truth needs is to be revealed, or "exposed" as we like to say here on the Fifth Nail: Exposed. And all that requires is the desire to be honest, with oneself especially. It does not require an education, nor any book to tell you what It is. The truth is all around you. You experience it perpetually. You cannot in fact escape it, no matter how much "they" say you can (or will "someday" if you believe what "they" tell you to believe). It is simple, and beautiful, and only painful when it shines through our delusions and tears them away. If we let go (of the lie) then the pain soon ends (depending on how deep it goes into your "soul", which is the unconscious mind... and the part of you that even scientists like Carl Jung realized connects us all in a very literal and "real" sense!), and the truth becomes a soothing salve one could call "True Salvation".
Thus, "God's Truth" is not some religious or esoteric knowledge that you must dedicate your life to understanding. It is a simple and immediately accessible fundamental part of our experience, right now, staring us in the face, waiting for us to recognize what it is, WHO it is, and who it has always been: us! All of us! Forgiveness is not just a gift, it is a cure... for everything, and for everyone. A painful cure, yes. But it is the only real cure we have. And the sooner we all realize this together, the less pain we will have to endure!
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Thursday, May 25, 2017
The Gull of a Baby Raper
What is gull? Gull is the sense of power and control that a person gets when they overpower something within themselves that they might otherwise fear. I mean, think about it. Am I right? If I am right, then the key to understanding so-called "pedophiles", or almost any "criminal", is to understand where they get the gull to have sex with children. And to do that, we must take a closer look at the definition of "gull", and try to understand where it comes from, because without gull, nobody would dare harm a child.
It is a well-known and studied fact that very few "sex crimes" are motivated primarily by sexual desire. The real desire the "criminal" responds to in almost every case, even pedophiles, is the desire for power and control. When I was on the Riverside Sheriff's turbo-prop being transported from California back to Federal custody (death row) in Indiana, the deputies flying me engaged me in a long conversation over the plane's intercom system. They used the intercom (headphones and speakers) so they could hear and covertly record everything I said. And I knew they were recording; it was only obvious, but I didn't care. What bothered me more was that they didn't listen to what I was telling them. They only heard what they wanted to hear, and ignored the rest. They ignored the main point of what I took more than two hours trying to tell them: where I got the gull to kidnap, rape, and kill children.
All they heard was me telling them that I enjoyed raping babies (under a year old). I know that's all they heard because that was the only part that got played in court from the tape they made at my "competency" hearing several months later. But that wasn't what I told them at all. I told them that I have had fantasies of raping infants since my arrest. But, I emphasized over and over that the only reason I had these fantasies was because they gave me a sense of power and control, not over the child, but over society, and over the system, who "dared me" to have such fantasies by accusing me and shaming me for doing so.
I was attempting to explain to the deputies how our culture creates the necessary social structure and motivations that give a "rapist" like me the gull to do (and/or fantasize) what they do. I got "power" and control" over the fear of shame that the deputies themselves actively invoked with their "disgust" and "hate" for what I did (and/or fantasized). I told them that the only reason I fantasized about raping small babies after my arrest was because it gave me a sense of power and control over the fear that they themselves wanted me to feel, and spent their careers trying to make people like me feel, because they thought they could control people like me by using fear. That's the very premise of our Western "criminal justice" system: make criminals fear getting caught so they won't commit crimes.
But, the only thing fear does is create a desire, and indeed a "need", to overcome the object/source of the fear. It creates the need for gull. And it neatly divides society into two "classes": those who invoke fear (the "bullies") and those who resist it (the "criminals").
Of course nobody is a pure "bully" or pure "criminal". This dynamic interplays in all sorts of ways on all sorts of levels. My fantasies of raping small babies was just a natural reaction to the unique circumstances that my arrest and consequent "legal proceedings" created for me. I was predisposed to these fantasies, as a means of overcoming the fear of shame and humiliation invoked by our "system", because I had clearly resorted to similar gull already (by raping young children) as a means of obtaining power and control over my fear, the very fear that "society" sought to control me with. But the rapes, which I thought gave me control over the source of my fear, only created fear within other people, that they in turn sought to gain control over by invoking yet more fear and hatred. It is a cycle of fear and ignorance that serves only to exacerbate the very circumstances that both sides are trying desperately to alleviate.
That means that the gull of a baby raper essentially (and critically to the understanding necessary in order for us to break free from the cycle, as I tried to do by refusing to kill my last victim and turn myself in) comes from the same place the gull of the police, prosecutors, judges, correctional officers, etc. comes from. It comes from our need to gain power and control over what we fear. Take away the fear, and the gull vanishes with it.
I have no sexual desires for babies at all. And I freely admit, without shame (I refuse to be ashamed of something I know to be natural), that young children are very "sexy". Anthropologists theorize that human children are "sexy" in order to solicit care and protection from adults that might otherwise abandon them. This theory actually explains a lot, including our current cultural hyper-revulsion to child-sex, which is a classic "guilt reaction" to otherwise completely natural feelings, like the sexual attraction between grown people of the same sex (so-called "homosexuality"). But my baby-rape fantasies are not "natural" in the sense that they serve no functional purpose other than creating an illusion (or delusion) of power and control over the fear that others imagine give them power and control over me. The truth is that we can never control anything or anyone but ourselves with fear. Fear creates an illusion of control over others, but like my baby rape fantasies, it is never more than an illusion (or delusion) of control.
So what do you hear? Do you hear some "sicko" admitting that he likes to rape babies? Or do you hear a sorely wounded and beaten man pleading for the madness to end? What you hear will determine our future, and the future of numerous "innocent" children.. So listen carefully, and hear wisely!
Notes: Just in case it is not clear above, I should note that my "baby rape" fantasy was not a consciously invoked fantasy that I engaged for the conscious purpose of "power and control" over my fear. Instead it was a fantasy that seemed to "appear" on its own accord, as most of my fantasies do, especially lately as I have given up all attempts to control my fantasies at all. My fantasies live and breathe all on their own. While I can exercise short-term "immediate" control over them --- as anyone can --- over time, they always have their way, so I don't bother with trying to control them anymore, instead I simply try to understand them; which is what this blog post is about --- understanding, not controlling. True "control" comes through understanding, and understanding alone; the illusion of control comes from trying to control something without understanding, such as by using fear, or force. That's why the "Criminal Justice" system will never work --- much to the joy of those who profit off of it (who are the same people who make the laws and promote the fear and ignorance based "solution" - as unconsciously as I promote my own "baby rape" fantasies, but for the exact same reasons: It gives them a false sense of power and control over the perceived source of their fear 😰).
It is a well-known and studied fact that very few "sex crimes" are motivated primarily by sexual desire. The real desire the "criminal" responds to in almost every case, even pedophiles, is the desire for power and control. When I was on the Riverside Sheriff's turbo-prop being transported from California back to Federal custody (death row) in Indiana, the deputies flying me engaged me in a long conversation over the plane's intercom system. They used the intercom (headphones and speakers) so they could hear and covertly record everything I said. And I knew they were recording; it was only obvious, but I didn't care. What bothered me more was that they didn't listen to what I was telling them. They only heard what they wanted to hear, and ignored the rest. They ignored the main point of what I took more than two hours trying to tell them: where I got the gull to kidnap, rape, and kill children.
All they heard was me telling them that I enjoyed raping babies (under a year old). I know that's all they heard because that was the only part that got played in court from the tape they made at my "competency" hearing several months later. But that wasn't what I told them at all. I told them that I have had fantasies of raping infants since my arrest. But, I emphasized over and over that the only reason I had these fantasies was because they gave me a sense of power and control, not over the child, but over society, and over the system, who "dared me" to have such fantasies by accusing me and shaming me for doing so.
I was attempting to explain to the deputies how our culture creates the necessary social structure and motivations that give a "rapist" like me the gull to do (and/or fantasize) what they do. I got "power" and control" over the fear of shame that the deputies themselves actively invoked with their "disgust" and "hate" for what I did (and/or fantasized). I told them that the only reason I fantasized about raping small babies after my arrest was because it gave me a sense of power and control over the fear that they themselves wanted me to feel, and spent their careers trying to make people like me feel, because they thought they could control people like me by using fear. That's the very premise of our Western "criminal justice" system: make criminals fear getting caught so they won't commit crimes.
But, the only thing fear does is create a desire, and indeed a "need", to overcome the object/source of the fear. It creates the need for gull. And it neatly divides society into two "classes": those who invoke fear (the "bullies") and those who resist it (the "criminals").
Of course nobody is a pure "bully" or pure "criminal". This dynamic interplays in all sorts of ways on all sorts of levels. My fantasies of raping small babies was just a natural reaction to the unique circumstances that my arrest and consequent "legal proceedings" created for me. I was predisposed to these fantasies, as a means of overcoming the fear of shame and humiliation invoked by our "system", because I had clearly resorted to similar gull already (by raping young children) as a means of obtaining power and control over my fear, the very fear that "society" sought to control me with. But the rapes, which I thought gave me control over the source of my fear, only created fear within other people, that they in turn sought to gain control over by invoking yet more fear and hatred. It is a cycle of fear and ignorance that serves only to exacerbate the very circumstances that both sides are trying desperately to alleviate.
That means that the gull of a baby raper essentially (and critically to the understanding necessary in order for us to break free from the cycle, as I tried to do by refusing to kill my last victim and turn myself in) comes from the same place the gull of the police, prosecutors, judges, correctional officers, etc. comes from. It comes from our need to gain power and control over what we fear. Take away the fear, and the gull vanishes with it.
I have no sexual desires for babies at all. And I freely admit, without shame (I refuse to be ashamed of something I know to be natural), that young children are very "sexy". Anthropologists theorize that human children are "sexy" in order to solicit care and protection from adults that might otherwise abandon them. This theory actually explains a lot, including our current cultural hyper-revulsion to child-sex, which is a classic "guilt reaction" to otherwise completely natural feelings, like the sexual attraction between grown people of the same sex (so-called "homosexuality"). But my baby-rape fantasies are not "natural" in the sense that they serve no functional purpose other than creating an illusion (or delusion) of power and control over the fear that others imagine give them power and control over me. The truth is that we can never control anything or anyone but ourselves with fear. Fear creates an illusion of control over others, but like my baby rape fantasies, it is never more than an illusion (or delusion) of control.
So what do you hear? Do you hear some "sicko" admitting that he likes to rape babies? Or do you hear a sorely wounded and beaten man pleading for the madness to end? What you hear will determine our future, and the future of numerous "innocent" children.. So listen carefully, and hear wisely!
[J.D. May 6, 2017]
Notes: Just in case it is not clear above, I should note that my "baby rape" fantasy was not a consciously invoked fantasy that I engaged for the conscious purpose of "power and control" over my fear. Instead it was a fantasy that seemed to "appear" on its own accord, as most of my fantasies do, especially lately as I have given up all attempts to control my fantasies at all. My fantasies live and breathe all on their own. While I can exercise short-term "immediate" control over them --- as anyone can --- over time, they always have their way, so I don't bother with trying to control them anymore, instead I simply try to understand them; which is what this blog post is about --- understanding, not controlling. True "control" comes through understanding, and understanding alone; the illusion of control comes from trying to control something without understanding, such as by using fear, or force. That's why the "Criminal Justice" system will never work --- much to the joy of those who profit off of it (who are the same people who make the laws and promote the fear and ignorance based "solution" - as unconsciously as I promote my own "baby rape" fantasies, but for the exact same reasons: It gives them a false sense of power and control over the perceived source of their fear 😰).
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
On the "Inherent Value" of Human Life
To say that human life is valuable is the same as claiming that the form (body) we inhabit is more valuable than the one who inhabits that form. It takes away from the value of the inhabitant and diminishes the importance of faith and understanding (a.k.a. "love") in lieu of fear and ignorance ("hate").
Life itself is the only thing of value in this world or in the entire universe. "Human life" is not special at all. In fact, aside from the beauty that exists within human life, as it exists within all forms of life, nothing can be said about human life forms other than the fact that, as species, we exhibit all of the characteristics of a destructive organism, which we ourselves commonly refer to as a "disease".
Like cancer cells, we consume resources far beyond our needs. We ignore internal and external "signals" that would normally keep us in balance with our environment. We grow and reproduce with little to no concern for the "body" (world) we belong to, taking resources from it as our "right", and forming tumors that we call "cities" all over the planet. When time-lapse photos from space of urban growth are analyzed, they exhibit the exact same patterns found in only one other known life form: cancer! (This is very obvious even if you just visually compare urban growth pictures to pictures of cancer tumors.)
But, we refuse to see the obvious truth, because we only see ourselves in the human form, and thus see "value" only in that form.
We think being "alive" means being "human". And we completely fail to see beyond the bubble world of our humanness. This is too bad. Because, if we don't "wake up" from this delusion, if somehow the bubble doesn't burst before it's too late, then there will be another mass extinction, and all "inherently valuable human life" will be lost forever. And life itself will move on without us!
Life itself is the only thing of value in this world or in the entire universe. "Human life" is not special at all. In fact, aside from the beauty that exists within human life, as it exists within all forms of life, nothing can be said about human life forms other than the fact that, as species, we exhibit all of the characteristics of a destructive organism, which we ourselves commonly refer to as a "disease".
Like cancer cells, we consume resources far beyond our needs. We ignore internal and external "signals" that would normally keep us in balance with our environment. We grow and reproduce with little to no concern for the "body" (world) we belong to, taking resources from it as our "right", and forming tumors that we call "cities" all over the planet. When time-lapse photos from space of urban growth are analyzed, they exhibit the exact same patterns found in only one other known life form: cancer! (This is very obvious even if you just visually compare urban growth pictures to pictures of cancer tumors.)
But, we refuse to see the obvious truth, because we only see ourselves in the human form, and thus see "value" only in that form.
We think being "alive" means being "human". And we completely fail to see beyond the bubble world of our humanness. This is too bad. Because, if we don't "wake up" from this delusion, if somehow the bubble doesn't burst before it's too late, then there will be another mass extinction, and all "inherently valuable human life" will be lost forever. And life itself will move on without us!
[J.D. March 22, 2017]
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