I have «exposed» things in this blog
that I am sure some people wish I hadn't. In particular, my family,
and friends, whom I still care deeply about, will most likely be
offended. And I have struggled with this from the beginning, debating
how much I should and shouldn't «expose», or whether or not to
change a few details and circumstances in order to «protect the
innocent». But, in the end I have decided that the truth is more
important; here's why...
People have been killed, and a lot more
people have been irreparably harmed by my actions in the past. But,
more importantly, more people are going to be killed and irreparably
harmed, including uncountable children, if we don't start acknowledging the truth so we can build the understanding that we
need in order to end this insanity.
This blog is and has always been about
my most honest and intimate thoughts, memories, dreams, and
experiences. Not because I want recognition, or attention, or any
sort of perverse twisted pleasure. I only want the truth to be known.
Not my interpretation of the truth, or some slanted version meant to
express my own views in order to justify my actions in any way. Yes,
my «views» are present here, but I have disclaimed them repeatedly
throughout as fault, limited, and exclusively mine.
I don't expect anyone to see things the
same way I do. I have and do only ask that people read about my views
and experiences with an open heart and critical mind, so that the
process of understanding why I did what I did, and by extension why
people do the kinds of things I did (kidnap, rape, and murder), and
by further extension why we harm each other and ourselves so
insanely, might be facilitated.
I am certain that my attempt to provide
this information as honestly and forthcoming as I have has caused a
lot of people great distress. My own blood family shuns me, and I
believe they do so at least in part because of my public honesty
«exposing» private family matters. Many of my past friends, who are
considered successful and upstanding members of society, no doubt rue
what I have said, or may say, here in this blog as well. But, the
understanding we need, together, to break out of our insanity,
together, can only be wrought in the fires of the truth. Partial
truths and distorted truths simply do not burn hot enough to soften
the social fabrications that support the insanity enough that they
might begin to fail to support the delusions that propagate our
insanity.
And that's why we blog (by «we» I
mean myself, and the few people who put their own personal
reputations at great risk for these same reasons). We will never heal
if we don't start being more honest, and stop hiding from the truth.
So we present the truth here as raw and uncensored as possible
(though it is still heavily censored by both prison and other
government authorities) so you can decide for yourself what «view»
is right for you, according to your own ideology and personal
experiences. I believe, for good reason, that even the most
objectional and limited views can serve a purpose in the grand
scheme, and help reshape our understanding as a society. But only if
we let all views into the metaphorical fire I'm talking about. The
views that are based on false beliefs and false understanding will
burn away soon enough – and a better, stronger, more useful «metal»
of understanding will emerge over time. Or, at least that's what I
believe.
[J.D. August 20, 2016]
All the other processes of slow transformation are always
at a tangent [with real change] (you draw nearer and
nearer but you never arrive)."
Mother of Pondicherry
