I'm Not The Only One

It is generally assumed that most people who rape and kill do so for sexual pleasure, or for the sense of power and control that it gives them. And yet I have claimed over and over since my arrest in 2005 that I did it for "revenge against society". Some people have said this claim is just an excuse for my sexual perversion, or a kind of denial at best. I'm even willing to admint that there may be some truth in that. But, when I look deeply and honestly within myself I find that for whatever truth there may be to the sexual motives for my crimes there is compelling evidence (thoughts, feelings, and behavior) that revenge, or "false justice", is the primary motive at the core (the same kind of justice that our "Justice System" is based upon). I don't believe that makes me unique though.

I think that the only thing unique - or maybe just somewhat unusual - about my claim is the depth of self perception it takes to make it. If other so-called "serial killers" were to look honestly within themselves I think they too would discover that ultimately a strong sense of social injustice drives them over the moral edge of social boundaries. They would find in themselves a deeper source of their "perverse" sexual obsessions, and one that echoes my own claim of social injustice.

If I'm right, then the highly touted admissions of "serial killers", that they have "no conscience", becomes the real ruse; the excuse, and the denial. The deeper, and hence truer reason for their violence is the plain old fashioned desire to harm those who are perceived to have harmed them, and/or to express their own deeply felt pain and loss by manifesting it in the real world through their crimes.

If we could see this deeper cause of such violence as a society, and take responsibility for it ourselves, then we'd be able to bring an endto the "serial killer" craze that has been infecting our culture for the last several decades. And I'm not the only one who thinks so.

(J.D. 12. 31. 2014.)