Melodramatic Fix (and stuff)

A lot of people who have hurt others and then express remorse about it often claim that they don't know why they did what they did. A smaller percentage will claim they have some understanding, but when you ask them to explain you almost always get some sort of analytical explanation usually involving confusing childhood experiences and a lack of responsible adult coping mechanisms.
But the real reason that people hurt each other is so simple that it has been understood and written about for as long as men have been writing, and represented in human rituals and lore before that.
And at the same time the real reason is also so complex that no amount of analysis (scientific, theological, philosophical, or otherwise) will ever correctly or even usefully be able to express it.
At best, words can only represent it as a concept – a concept that must be experienced first hand before it can be understood.
Words will never be able to express it, which is why no solution (religious, political, or scientific) will ever be able to stop us from hurting each other as long as the solution involves the intervention of human language (and by human language I include mathematics and science). In fact, it is our attempt to make language work toward solving our problems that allows the violence and hatred to spawn and prosper in this world, by creating the illusion of helping while doing nothing to help in actuality (letting the problem get worse). I wont say what the problem is, because if you don't already know then reading about it isn't going to help.
I told someone in a conversation just today that all my questions in life have been answered and I no longer want anything from life. But that does not mean that I think I have all the answers; I know I don't. All i have is a lack of any more questions. All of my questions have been answered, but I have no answers for anyone else, except perhaps to tell them that they must find their own answers for themselves.
I have said, if someone tells you they have a solution to all your problems, run away! „If you meet the Buddha on the road kill him.” No other person or persons can tell you what you need to know. The solution to all your problems is built into you. In fact, most people create their own problems by running away in terror of the very thing that provides salvation. And such people seek balance and harmony (i. e. peace) through artificial mechanisms (i. e. addictions) one of which is sold every day on our Tvs. It is called drama, and it is just another substitute for real life like all other addictions. We try to replace our own natural emotional responses to life with dramatically induced and intensified substitutes. The result is of course a completely altered sense of reality that has very little to do with life and actively prevents us from ever being able to recognize who we really are. We feel lost and alone inside, and the more we try to compensate (with more drama, or melodrama) the worse we get.

Murder Me Softly

I have never said that the reason I did not kill the little girl the way I had planned was because I realized that killing her would be wrong. Because what I realized (superconsciously) was that killing her was NOT wrong. Only believing it was wrong was what was wrong!
I needed to believe that what I was doing was wrong (i. e. heinous) in order to prop up and support my belief that I was a bad person. But once I realized (and I mean really realized) that killing (and raping, and pillaging, etc...) was not wrong, then my belief system fell apart, and I could no longer support it by killing. I did not become a „good person” or a „hero” (thank goodness), I just stopped believing that I was a „bad person” and a „villain”. I stopped trying so desperately to define my existence and realized that I did not need to be anything in order to be alive! I could just be and enjoy being, for the sake of being itself.
I no longer had anything to prove, or dis-prove, so I no longer needed to judge anything as wrong or right. And by letting go of my judgement I suddenly saw „God's Judgement” all around me; what I have sometimes refered to as „True Justice”. So, once someone really and truly realizes that killing is not wrong, then they will no longer be able to satisfy their need to define their existence by killing (they won't need to). In other words, one who does not judge cannot sin, but one who judges has already sinned!
If you think killing someone will solve your problem, whether you call yourself a murderer as an executioner, then you're belief is in killing, not God or even justice. You become a killer by what you believe, not by what you do!