What Separates Us

I get really tired of hearing prominent people, especially scientists and philosophers, telling us about what separates us, as humans, from other animals. The idea that we are somehow separate and above all the other species on this planet is as ignorant and offensive to me as racism. In fact, the mentality (i.e. basic reasoning, if you can call it that) behind these two views is no different. And even though we are clearly different than any other species on Earth, we are not special, or separate from them in any sense but the imagined.

And I believe it is this imagined sense of superiority over animals, and each other, that provokes and allows us to behave in ways that make us the single most dangerous and destructive species to ever infest our world. We behave en masse exactly like a cancer that is consuming the flesh and resources of the Earth Herself while we grow and spread unchecked. Our arrogance allows us to ignore all the signs and symptoms of the "disease" we represent.

As I understand it (and please check me in comments if I am mistaken, as I have only my memory and cant knowledge to rely upon here; I can't go to a library or check the Internet as I'd like) a cell must exhibit three qualities in order to be classified as cancerous: The ability to reproduce unchecked; the ability to access and consume resources unchecked; and the ability to circumvent the host body's natural defenses. The additional ability to migrate and survive in different parts o the body is what makes an ordinary cancer cell metastatic, and notoriously the most dangerous and deadly of all cancers.

As a species, we humans have acquired and exhibit all four of these qualities! We can obviously migrate and survive in all but the harshest regions (i.e. North and South poles). And our ability to reproduce unchecked has been a long recognized "problem". But it wasn't until relatively recently that we've developed the means to access and consume resources without limit, and to stave off the natural "immune responses" of the Earth Herself, such as famine, plagues, and massive manslaughter (a.k.a. "war" --- of course we still have many small scale wars around the globe, but nothing compared to the mass slaughters of the 19th and 20th centuries, which I believe were a natural response to over-population).

Of course I'm making it a lot simpler than the reality. Our ability to reproduce unchecked is linked to our ability to acquire and consume resources, and all that is potentially limited by more than just wars and famines and plagues. But the fundamental patterns of how we reproduce, consume resources, defeat natural checks and balances, and propagate our kind is undeniably the same as cancer. The only question is, where will it lead?

I don't believe cancer itself is just a disease. In fact, I believe it is a natural and necessary phenomenon that is ultimately an incredible part of evolution itself. I have no real evidence to support this idea, but I believe it may well be possible that our separate organs and body functions began as the result of "cancerous growths" that became functional systems, like eyes, stomachs, and lungs. If you study how our cells "differentiate" after fertilization you will start to see patterns that this differentiation that are remarkably similar to the way some cancers can be passed from one generation to the next.

The mutations that cause certain cancers do not manifest as cancer until certain conditions are met, such as exposure to nicotine, asbestos, or some other "stressor". People who do not carry these "mutations" (i.e. genes) can be exposed to the carcinogens without developing cancer. This is remarkably similar to the way the mere presences o enough fetal cells causes some of the cells to behave differently (i.e. "differentiate") even though they all share the same genes.

So, are we doomed? I hope not. if I'm wrong about cancer being a natural part of evolution then we most likely will ultimately destroy our host body's (the Earth's) ability to sustain higher life forms. But, if I¨m right, then maybe the Earth Herself has the natural ability to "process" cancerous organisms, such as humankind, far more efficiently than individual animal's bodies can. In other words, regardless of our hubris, Mother Earth may have plans for us yet! Let's hope so.

[J.D. January 31, 2020]

"I" Am Not "Me"

In a letter to my Mom today I wrote once more to her about my decision to stop acting "insane" (stop raping and murdering children, etc.) and turn myself in to the "authorities" (of the present world). I want her more than anyone to understand that there is nothing "wrong" with her son (or her, by retraction), and that there never was (other than the common insanity that afflicts us all). And in order to do that I tell her in as many different ways as I can about the "epiphany" I had that caused me to realize that what I was doing was no more or less insane than the things people (society) did to me when I was still a very confused child (see The Fifth Nail "Confessions" blog for details). I want my mother to understand that her son ultimately saw through the delusions that our culture so carefully cultivates and that provided the insane rational I needed in order to do the inhumane things I had done (and had been done to me). I believe the epiphany I had in the Montana wilderness with my last child victim is key to understanding why I did what I did (rape and kill, etc.). Because once you understand why I stopped, and I mean really understand, then the reason I started in the first place becomes self-evident (hint: because I believed the greatest lie of all, that I am sovereign over my own life and destiny, and hence "responsible" for what I do and who I am).

This realization, that I am not responsible for who I am (as an individual), nor for the things that I do, was the crux of the epiphany I had that let me see through the powerful delusions which were built around the premise that I am (responsible). Once that premise fell so did all the beliefs and rationalizations that depended on it. I could no longer convince myself that I had a "right" to hurt those who hurt me, or to take what I wanted from anyone, because suddenly my personal wants and desires became as meaningless as... well, me.

What does that mean? Am I really so meaningless? Not at all; that's not what I mean. I essentially realized that "I" am not "me". "I" and "me" are two completely different things. "I" is who I am underneath or behind the illusion of "me". And I am responsible for who I am. But - and this is important - I can only be "responsible" for who I am if I know the full consequences, past, present, and future (i.e. eternity) of who I am. And I can only know the full consequences if I am omniscient. And if I am omniscient then I must also be omnipotent, and omnipresent as well if you really think about it!

Yes! I realized in an instant something I knew deep down all my life, but had forgotten and ignored for too long; that I am God! No, not "me", but "I" am. The real infinite "me", not the limited delusional "me" who pretends to have power and control (and responsibility) over what I do, think, and feel. Yes, "I" have control, but the "me" (egotistical) only pretends (as it turns out is provable with certain scientific studies of how the brain makes choices before it formulates the excuses for those choices - excuses that constitute the very delusions of which I speak, of "responsibility" and "control", etc. etc.). The eternal "me", who I really am, decided long before I was ever born - before the universe was even born - who I would be and all the things I would do. And not just that, but everything and everyone else would do as well, which means of course that "I" was the one who hurt "me" as a child! I chose this life, and all those things that I once thought were done to "me" by so many others; by "them".

I realized - or, rather - I remembered - that "I" am the only Being in all creation (or, properly speaking, that I am The Creator!). That's why i kept saying, "It's not about me anymore!" and, "I'm not afraid anymore!" over and over after I had this epiphany. Because I knew, or more correctly, I saw, and I remembered who I really was. "I" am not "me". "I" am God! And as God I am responsible not just for "me", but for everything (and everyone) in all eternity.

[J.D. January 14, 2020]