All Lives Matter

At a protest I saw on T.V. a couple of weeks ago there was a young black woman calling for all "whites" in the crowd to move to the front and face police in riot gear in order to feel what it's like to be "black" for at least a few minutes.

If I were in that crowd (protesting systematic racism and injustice), I would have been very offended by her suggestion, which directly implies that because I'm "white", I don't understand what it's like to be "black". THAT IS RACISM!

If any person is treated unjustly by our social system, then we are all responsible, and "victims" (i.e. we all suffer the consequences). The white police officer now facing murder charges for the callous murder of a black man is as much a "victim" of "systematic racism" as the man he killed. And so am I, even though I'm as "white" as they come, and was locked in a cell on death row when it happened.

The problem isn't racial, or sexual, or even ideological. The problem is that we can't see how connected we all really are! No person ever acts, or thinks, or feels, or suffers, independently. The illusion of independent experience is necessary for our survival (as animals). It permits us to behave in our own interest, which is necessary for motivation (to eat, find shelter, reproduce, etc.) and provides a sense of autonomy and self-worth.

But, when we become completely detached from the reality of our inter-dependence, not only with other people, but with the planet herself, then we lose touch with the one and only thing (literally) that can "save" us, and solve all our problems. We become fearful, and suspicious, seeing anything that is different than what we are use to as a threat, or "them"; bad guys, criminals, witches, Jews, druggies, homos, sex offenders, psychopaths, blacks, whites, men, woman; us, and them.

In the end we must realize that ALL lives matter, and stop using labels to define and separate ourselves from the broadest consequences of our experience. The "solution" is to stop believing in the illusion of independence, and see it instead for what it is. Like the sun, we need it to survive. But if we turn to it for solutions to problems that we create for ourselves, thinking we must "do something" as individuals in order to "fix" things, then we end up only making the problem worse.

Our individualism and independence are not sacred things that we need to protect, honor, and appease in order to prosper. It is there for a reason that if we ever hope to understand (and use to our advantage) we must first stop seeing it as something sacred and holy, and start looking at it - and the problems that come with it - as something to be objectively studied and understood. We need to stop pretending that if we can just come up with the right ritual, make the right sacrifice, or invent the right law, then everything will be okay. That's not how problems get solved.

We need to stop inventing slogans, punishing "bad guys" and making laws that usually end up doing more harm than good, and making the problem worse (often by pushing it "out of sight" where it can dig deeper and fester). Instead we should be applying the problem-solving tools we have and that we know work, like trial and error (not trial and punishment), or simply scientific analysis (not pseudo-science).

Instead of making laws meant to "fix" the problem, why not make a law instead that requires all laws to state clear objectives that if not met within a state time frame are repealed and analyzed so better laws, also subject to automatic appeal and analysis, can take its place? I know that sounds simpler than it would turn out to be, and it'd require a nearly complete overhaul of our current (dysfunctional) system. But, isn't that what everyone wants?

Imagine a law that requires police departments to reduce crime by clearly defined and measured margins, and provides the means (any means) for doing so. And if it doesn't work then we repeal the law and study why, just like a real scientific experiment.

Of course the naysayers will argue that we can't "experiment" on society. And I'd say, why not, if it works? Our current system clearly doesn't work, not even a little. I personally can't imagine any system of laws (which are imposed upon a population) that will ever "work" in the long run. I like to imagine a world (with humans in it) where order is allowed to arise from chaos, the way it does in nature (with or without us). But that world is a long way off. So for now, if we could just collectively admit that we don't know what the hell we are doing, and from there take steps in as many directions as necessary in order to find a path that goes somewhere (instead of in descending spirals), anywhere else!

[J.D. June 18, 2020]

"Science is not a body of facts. Science is a method for deciding whether or not what we choose to believe has basis in the laws of nature or not." - Marcia McNutt, Editor, Science Magazine

No Hope

I heard a Christian say the other day, "If you have life, then you have hope; and if you have hope, then you have everything."

That sounds to me like the sort of thing Christians are taught to say without thinking, because when you think about what it means it doesn't make any sense.

The definition of hope is a desire with the expectation of fulfillment. Put simply, it is the anticipation of something you don't yet have. So it makes no sense at all to claim that with hope you have everything, when in fact in order to have hope you must lack the thing you hope for.

It appears that equating hope with having everything is some sort of Orwellian doublespeak that authoritarian institutions (governments and churches) use to emotionally rationalize the need for their authority. The message of hope is one that says, "You don't have what you want yet, but if you do what we tell you then you will get everything you desire."

Doesn't it sound at least a little suspicious when you put it that way?`And isn't that exactly what "they" are telling you when they say hope is everything? And most shockingly, isn't that the exact opposite of what Jesus Himself purportedly died on a cross in order to teach us? (Jesus was a teacher and a messenger, wasn't he? So shouldn't his message and lessons be more important than his being?)

When I read the Bible the message of unconditional love that Jesus preached (and demonstrated) seems like the opposite of hope. He insisted over and over that we already have God's unconditional love (and forgiveness, which goes hand-in-hand). So, we have no more we need to hope for? Isn't that the core of his message, that we already have everything that matters, and the only thing that matters? Did he not insist that we should not look here, or there, for heaven (i.e. God's Love), because it already exists within us?

And doesn't the Christian "message of hope" in effect circumvent the very "message of Love" that Jesus preached?

You tell me. is there some flaw in my reasoning, some blindness to my insight that I am missing? I try to remain open to such errors, so tell me where I am mistaken and I will consider it carefully. But, I will not accept some emotionally charged oxymoronic doublespeak as "logic", when it is anything but; especially when it contradicts the One True Authority given to each and every living thing to think and be for themselves, but not by themselves; to be happy, loved, and alive, right here, and right now, with no need for desire, or "hope" at all.

Japanese Perversion

Years ago in Japan the government made it against the law to publish pictures or drawings that depict sexual penetration. And for the purpose of enforcing these laws they made it very specifically against the law to show a penis penetrating the human (i.e. female) body (orally, anally, or vaginally). The result of this has been interesting, to say the least.

Japanese pornographers, in particular those working in graphic arts (i.e. comic books, per se), quickly found alternate ways to sell their sex rags (magazines) by using illustrations of everything but the taboo "sexual act". And in the process they created whole new genres of sexual perversion.

One of the most popular and widely distributed forms of this new sexual deviation is commonly referred to as "tentacle sex". It shows monsters, aliens, and mutant humans having sex with super sexy young females, and showing full penetration, only with tentacles instead of penises. Not surprisingly this "art" is very popular in Japan, where "xxx" porn is otherwise outlawed.

But, there is still another even more popular genre of perverted sex in Japan that also results directly from the governments attempt to suppress basic human nature, and it is one that most Americans would (pretend) to find even more "disgusting" (even though it is widely embraced in America in its "milder" forms).

I'm talking about "sexy school-girls", commonly depicted as young as six to sixteen. This form of "child erotica" bordering on "child porn" is very popular in Japan, and commonly accepted. People don't realize that it became popular around the same time and for the same basic reasons that tentacle sex became popular.

People need sex. If you take away open sexual expression in its most prevalent form (penetration) then people will naturally and instinctively seek "substitutes". Tentacle sex is an obvious substitute. And while the sexualization of children is not as obviously a substitute, it is undeniably a result of the same self-righteous attempts of those who pretend to be "above sex" (and hence, above their "animal nature") by passing laws that attempt to suppress said nature.

In Japan, "sexy school-girls" stand in for "naughty desire" when ordinary "naughtiness" is against the law. In the United States we will allow "naughty" pictures and movies, but we still criminalize "naughty" behavior (prostitution, rape, and increasingly any open display of sexual interest). [Note: in most states the definition of "rape" is non-consensual "intercourse", defined as sexual penetration of the (usually female) body... sound familiar?]

I believe that the reason "sex crime" is so prevalent in the United States is because sexual behavior is so heavily repressed. Just like the rise of "tentacle sex" and "sexy school-girls" in Japanese magazines resulted from laws that restrict sexual expression in published form, the rise of criminal sexual behavior in the U.S. is the result of restrictions against sexual behavior. We resort to rape, murder, and/or children for sex, when we have no other outlets, just as the Japanese resort to such things in their popular publications.

Not everyone in Japan buys tentacle sex magazines, and not everyone in the U.S. resorts to crime for sex. I'm only observing a connection here that those who make our laws would rather we not know about. (I saw a forensic psychology "expert" insist on T.V. the other day - for no apparent reason - that "sex crime is NOT on the rise in America", which, of course, it is, and has been since the 70s when they started passing so many sex laws along side, or I'd say "behind" in the covert sense, all the drug laws.) Check my facts, and reasoning, and comment below if you like. But let me leave you with this one telling clue: Less than 1% of the illegal "child porn" on the Internet shows anal or vaginal penetration (or so I have been told). So what is it that so-called "pedophiles" really want? Think about it, I dare you!

[J.D. February 12, 2020]

What Separates Us

I get really tired of hearing prominent people, especially scientists and philosophers, telling us about what separates us, as humans, from other animals. The idea that we are somehow separate and above all the other species on this planet is as ignorant and offensive to me as racism. In fact, the mentality (i.e. basic reasoning, if you can call it that) behind these two views is no different. And even though we are clearly different than any other species on Earth, we are not special, or separate from them in any sense but the imagined.

And I believe it is this imagined sense of superiority over animals, and each other, that provokes and allows us to behave in ways that make us the single most dangerous and destructive species to ever infest our world. We behave en masse exactly like a cancer that is consuming the flesh and resources of the Earth Herself while we grow and spread unchecked. Our arrogance allows us to ignore all the signs and symptoms of the "disease" we represent.

As I understand it (and please check me in comments if I am mistaken, as I have only my memory and cant knowledge to rely upon here; I can't go to a library or check the Internet as I'd like) a cell must exhibit three qualities in order to be classified as cancerous: The ability to reproduce unchecked; the ability to access and consume resources unchecked; and the ability to circumvent the host body's natural defenses. The additional ability to migrate and survive in different parts o the body is what makes an ordinary cancer cell metastatic, and notoriously the most dangerous and deadly of all cancers.

As a species, we humans have acquired and exhibit all four of these qualities! We can obviously migrate and survive in all but the harshest regions (i.e. North and South poles). And our ability to reproduce unchecked has been a long recognized "problem". But it wasn't until relatively recently that we've developed the means to access and consume resources without limit, and to stave off the natural "immune responses" of the Earth Herself, such as famine, plagues, and massive manslaughter (a.k.a. "war" --- of course we still have many small scale wars around the globe, but nothing compared to the mass slaughters of the 19th and 20th centuries, which I believe were a natural response to over-population).

Of course I'm making it a lot simpler than the reality. Our ability to reproduce unchecked is linked to our ability to acquire and consume resources, and all that is potentially limited by more than just wars and famines and plagues. But the fundamental patterns of how we reproduce, consume resources, defeat natural checks and balances, and propagate our kind is undeniably the same as cancer. The only question is, where will it lead?

I don't believe cancer itself is just a disease. In fact, I believe it is a natural and necessary phenomenon that is ultimately an incredible part of evolution itself. I have no real evidence to support this idea, but I believe it may well be possible that our separate organs and body functions began as the result of "cancerous growths" that became functional systems, like eyes, stomachs, and lungs. If you study how our cells "differentiate" after fertilization you will start to see patterns that this differentiation that are remarkably similar to the way some cancers can be passed from one generation to the next.

The mutations that cause certain cancers do not manifest as cancer until certain conditions are met, such as exposure to nicotine, asbestos, or some other "stressor". People who do not carry these "mutations" (i.e. genes) can be exposed to the carcinogens without developing cancer. This is remarkably similar to the way the mere presences o enough fetal cells causes some of the cells to behave differently (i.e. "differentiate") even though they all share the same genes.

So, are we doomed? I hope not. if I'm wrong about cancer being a natural part of evolution then we most likely will ultimately destroy our host body's (the Earth's) ability to sustain higher life forms. But, if I¨m right, then maybe the Earth Herself has the natural ability to "process" cancerous organisms, such as humankind, far more efficiently than individual animal's bodies can. In other words, regardless of our hubris, Mother Earth may have plans for us yet! Let's hope so.

[J.D. January 31, 2020]

"I" Am Not "Me"

In a letter to my Mom today I wrote once more to her about my decision to stop acting "insane" (stop raping and murdering children, etc.) and turn myself in to the "authorities" (of the present world). I want her more than anyone to understand that there is nothing "wrong" with her son (or her, by retraction), and that there never was (other than the common insanity that afflicts us all). And in order to do that I tell her in as many different ways as I can about the "epiphany" I had that caused me to realize that what I was doing was no more or less insane than the things people (society) did to me when I was still a very confused child (see The Fifth Nail "Confessions" blog for details). I want my mother to understand that her son ultimately saw through the delusions that our culture so carefully cultivates and that provided the insane rational I needed in order to do the inhumane things I had done (and had been done to me). I believe the epiphany I had in the Montana wilderness with my last child victim is key to understanding why I did what I did (rape and kill, etc.). Because once you understand why I stopped, and I mean really understand, then the reason I started in the first place becomes self-evident (hint: because I believed the greatest lie of all, that I am sovereign over my own life and destiny, and hence "responsible" for what I do and who I am).

This realization, that I am not responsible for who I am (as an individual), nor for the things that I do, was the crux of the epiphany I had that let me see through the powerful delusions which were built around the premise that I am (responsible). Once that premise fell so did all the beliefs and rationalizations that depended on it. I could no longer convince myself that I had a "right" to hurt those who hurt me, or to take what I wanted from anyone, because suddenly my personal wants and desires became as meaningless as... well, me.

What does that mean? Am I really so meaningless? Not at all; that's not what I mean. I essentially realized that "I" am not "me". "I" and "me" are two completely different things. "I" is who I am underneath or behind the illusion of "me". And I am responsible for who I am. But - and this is important - I can only be "responsible" for who I am if I know the full consequences, past, present, and future (i.e. eternity) of who I am. And I can only know the full consequences if I am omniscient. And if I am omniscient then I must also be omnipotent, and omnipresent as well if you really think about it!

Yes! I realized in an instant something I knew deep down all my life, but had forgotten and ignored for too long; that I am God! No, not "me", but "I" am. The real infinite "me", not the limited delusional "me" who pretends to have power and control (and responsibility) over what I do, think, and feel. Yes, "I" have control, but the "me" (egotistical) only pretends (as it turns out is provable with certain scientific studies of how the brain makes choices before it formulates the excuses for those choices - excuses that constitute the very delusions of which I speak, of "responsibility" and "control", etc. etc.). The eternal "me", who I really am, decided long before I was ever born - before the universe was even born - who I would be and all the things I would do. And not just that, but everything and everyone else would do as well, which means of course that "I" was the one who hurt "me" as a child! I chose this life, and all those things that I once thought were done to "me" by so many others; by "them".

I realized - or, rather - I remembered - that "I" am the only Being in all creation (or, properly speaking, that I am The Creator!). That's why i kept saying, "It's not about me anymore!" and, "I'm not afraid anymore!" over and over after I had this epiphany. Because I knew, or more correctly, I saw, and I remembered who I really was. "I" am not "me". "I" am God! And as God I am responsible not just for "me", but for everything (and everyone) in all eternity.

[J.D. January 14, 2020]